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AIBU?

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Original poster

To start deleting these wedding pics?

437 replies

JonSnowsWhore · 29/04/2017 18:48

This is soooo outing but I don't know any other way of putting it.

5 weeks ago, I did the photography for an old friends wedding. I don't have a photography business but I did photography in college as an adult so she knows I do it cheaply to help out people I know. Before this wedding I hadn't seen her for a couple of years btw & wouldn't have been close enough to be invited to the wedding which is fine.

The wedding ended up being brought forward to when I'd still be pregnant, so I asked another photography keen friend of mine if she'd come & help me out as I knew I'd struggle doing a whole day at 7 months pregnant. Said we'd split the money between us & she said great as she'd love the experience.

So we get there at 10.30am, do the getting ready photos, horse & carriage photos, go to venue & do ceremony, group & couple photos, get a break for the food, then back again for the speeches, some of the party, cutting cake & first dance, eventually leave about 8.30pm. Bride said she'd pay me by bank transfer the next day & as I know her, I was fine with that.

Sent her my bank details the next day, got an excuse that their online banking was playing up, they'd go to a branch on the Monday to pay it. Monday morning I see on Facebook that they're setting off to their honeymoon in the uk. Don't hear anything. Midweek another message, there's no English banks so they'll do it as soon as they come back from honeymoon. I'm a bit pissed off now as it's not just me going without, I'm meant to give my other friend half. Since then it's been an excuse about their car breaking down, this money issue that money issue, can she pay me half & then the other half at the end of the month (now) so I say if that's all she can do then we'll have to do that, as I felt bad that my other friend hadn't been paid yet. She never paid the half, & never replied to my message. Now it's the end of the month, 5 weeks since the wedding & we still haven't had any money.

So, WIBU to start deleting her bloody wedding photos, what should I say to her as I'm getting bloody pissed off now, at first I didn't want to demand money as she was a 'friend' & didn't want to make things awkward, but can clearly see now that she doesn't give a shit about making things awkward!

OP posts:
dogsdieinhotcars · 01/05/2017 07:23

It's 1st May - did she pay?

LavenderDoll · 01/05/2017 07:38

I would post a public message on her Facebook page asking where payment was.

SlowLifeLove · 01/05/2017 07:44

@catinthecorner - you need a model release form as soon as you start using the photographs to enhance your business or generate income. That includes using them to build up a portfolio.

Please stop telling the OP things that could lead to her being in more financial trouble..

OP - you could also end up in trouble if you delete them if you haven't got insurance to cover missing photographs.

It's shit, but she sounds like a shit bag so please don't do anything that is going to end up causing you more trouble than she already is.

Mummyrowland · 01/05/2017 08:05

How horrible you were so cheap too

Original poster
JonSnowsWhore · 01/05/2017 08:26

Ok lets not worry about the model release form, I'm not that interested in using her pics, I don't even have a business lol.

& im pretty sure that there's nothing illegal in deleting her pics though, they belong to me. Especially seeing as they're not even paid for.

She's been online loads of times since I sent the message but she still hasn't opened my message let alone responded. Will see if she manages to take time to reply today....

OP posts:
LML83 · 01/05/2017 08:32

What a cow!

She will want those pictures though. I would keep them and forget about it (if u can). When she eventually pays up send her the unedited ones. Say because of the delay in payment u haven't edited them and now aren't going too as you have a new baby.

You were doing it cheap as a favour she no longer deserves the favour so give her the minimum (after payment)x

DubiousCredentials · 01/05/2017 08:35

If she doesn't reply then you could innocently post on her fb page asking if she is having problems with messenger as she hasn't replied and obviously there must be a valid explanation as to why not. But then I'm a passive-aggressive bitch at the best of times Blush

Cagliostro · 01/05/2017 08:38

I was going to suggest the same dubious

Original poster
JonSnowsWhore · 01/05/2017 08:45

Yeah I do like the idea of passively aggressively shaming her on Facebook, just so her friends know she hasn't paid her photographers 😊

I'm sure that would disappoint many MNers who want me to go down the legal route but it's how I feel right now. & as I've said, can't really do much legally without an address

OP posts:
Annette1000 · 01/05/2017 09:37

You can add the court fees to the debt, I believe. Don't delete, that makes you as bad as her. Watch one of those bailiff shows, escalate to the high court, warn her you will and get your money.

SlowLifeLove · 01/05/2017 09:41

If you've agreed to a service, and subsequently delete the photographs (or lose them) you can be sued- particularly if it's a special occasion event such as a wedding. This is one of the reasons why photographer's have insurance.

SlowLifeLove · 01/05/2017 09:42

Did you agree to fully-edited photographs?

And did you agree to payment prior to the wedding?

hollyisalovelyname · 01/05/2017 10:22

Why are people so
Mean.
OP did you know anyone else at the wedding.
Surely they had an address for the bride.
Could you phone the venue with some excuse to get her address ?

ChangelingToday · 01/05/2017 10:35

£200 is for nothing. We paid so much more, waaay more! And we fed the photographer and his wife. They were lovely. I'm starting a business myself and I've begun to realise that giving discounts means you get less respect from the client. The amount of people who were half hour late, an hour early, didn't show up at all, was unbelievable.

I'd go to small claims too, but definitely don't delete the pictures, they are your proof that you are a professional.

GiraffesCantPlayHopScotch · 01/05/2017 11:11

You need to message others pretending to.be concerned for her as no contact and hasnt paid

rain790 · 01/05/2017 11:31

Yes please post on her FB wall saying you've messaged her and are really wanting the extremely overdue payment on the wedding photography before taking further action (don't say what).

Ceto · 01/05/2017 11:36

Surely it would be easy enough to find her address if she's an old friend?

HiggeldyPiggeldy · 01/05/2017 12:14

Im not a huge fan of facebook but why dont you put a message on her wall saying something along the lines of "hi stingey cheapskate bride I have sent you a few private messages re payment for your wedding photographs, not sure you have received them as I have had no reply could you send payment asap please as I need to pay friend who helped and I could do with the money for baby"

Original poster
JonSnowsWhore · 01/05/2017 12:24

There really isn't a way to get her address, we knew each other from being neighbours & we've both since moved so no mutual friends, other than the one I mentioned earlier who still lives where we used to live but doesn't have her address as she only has the same amount of contact I have, through Facebook.

She's been on & off of fb messenger all day & still not replied. But like I said I'll give her til the end of the day before I say something else. As there's no address then it probably will have to be down the route of public fb shaming on her wall as people have suggested. I'm seriously fucking angry with her now, I'll be telling her to forget the whole damn thing & her pics will be gone by the end of the week. Very much doubt she can sue me seeing as she hasn't paid a penny for the right to the photos!

OP posts:
SootSprite · 01/05/2017 12:25

Another vote here for posting directly to her wall, seeing as you're so worried about her, hope everything is okay with her etc etc

Huskylover1 · 01/05/2017 12:32

Could you not ask for her address, under the guise of saying you plan to post the disc/photo's today? She might give it, thinking she may get the disc without paying you.

Original poster
JonSnowsWhore · 01/05/2017 12:39

Hmm that's clever husky, wonder if she'd fall for it though now she knows I'm pissed off lol

OP posts:
KeiraKnightleyActsWithHerTeeth · 01/05/2017 12:52

Yes! Send a message, "I've got something to send you! Wink wink. Send me your address". Boom small claims.

cocobatter · 01/05/2017 12:55

You can employ a tracing company for her address. It's not expensive and small claims is £25 which you add to the claim amount anyway

hollyisalovelyname · 01/05/2017 13:15

192.com ????

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