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AIBU?

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Original poster

To start deleting these wedding pics?

437 replies

JonSnowsWhore · 29/04/2017 18:48

This is soooo outing but I don't know any other way of putting it.

5 weeks ago, I did the photography for an old friends wedding. I don't have a photography business but I did photography in college as an adult so she knows I do it cheaply to help out people I know. Before this wedding I hadn't seen her for a couple of years btw & wouldn't have been close enough to be invited to the wedding which is fine.

The wedding ended up being brought forward to when I'd still be pregnant, so I asked another photography keen friend of mine if she'd come & help me out as I knew I'd struggle doing a whole day at 7 months pregnant. Said we'd split the money between us & she said great as she'd love the experience.

So we get there at 10.30am, do the getting ready photos, horse & carriage photos, go to venue & do ceremony, group & couple photos, get a break for the food, then back again for the speeches, some of the party, cutting cake & first dance, eventually leave about 8.30pm. Bride said she'd pay me by bank transfer the next day & as I know her, I was fine with that.

Sent her my bank details the next day, got an excuse that their online banking was playing up, they'd go to a branch on the Monday to pay it. Monday morning I see on Facebook that they're setting off to their honeymoon in the uk. Don't hear anything. Midweek another message, there's no English banks so they'll do it as soon as they come back from honeymoon. I'm a bit pissed off now as it's not just me going without, I'm meant to give my other friend half. Since then it's been an excuse about their car breaking down, this money issue that money issue, can she pay me half & then the other half at the end of the month (now) so I say if that's all she can do then we'll have to do that, as I felt bad that my other friend hadn't been paid yet. She never paid the half, & never replied to my message. Now it's the end of the month, 5 weeks since the wedding & we still haven't had any money.

So, WIBU to start deleting her bloody wedding photos, what should I say to her as I'm getting bloody pissed off now, at first I didn't want to demand money as she was a 'friend' & didn't want to make things awkward, but can clearly see now that she doesn't give a shit about making things awkward!

OP posts:
RaspberryOverloadsOnChilli · 29/04/2017 19:03

Another vote for small claims court. Keep the pics and also all the messages as evidence.

Original poster
JonSnowsWhore · 29/04/2017 19:03

To be fair though, in regards to her 'really struggling' our £200 (yes really! £100 each photographer) is nothing compared to their hotel, horse & cart, golf club wedding, sit down meal, about 6 bridesmaids, after party, videographer. If she can't afford to pay us £200 she really shouldn't have had such an expensive bloody wedding if it'll make them 'struggle so much'

OP posts:
GreyBubbles · 29/04/2017 19:04

I'd go for the small claims court as others have suggested, least then you have a chance of getting the money, deleting will mean none.

Original poster
JonSnowsWhore · 29/04/2017 19:05

Sort my last comment doesn't help anything I know that, I'm just a bit pissed off with it all, my other friend could have demanded I pay her her half as she was doing me a favour by coming to help so I could be even more out of pocket but she's been great

OP posts:
DrinkFeckArseGirls · 29/04/2017 19:06

Maybe she "booked you in", in case she couldnt get stills from videographer?? And now she did so she's not bothered? How odd.

Maudlinmaud · 29/04/2017 19:08

Oh nightmare! Keep the pictures, don't edit etc. Invoice her and say she has 10 days to pay the full amount. She will either pay you or she won't. Don't let the saga go on.

Butterymuffin · 29/04/2017 19:10

Don't delete them or threaten to. That removes your moral high ground which is unarguable - you want to be paid for the work you did. Say you are going to small claims court but also that for every week beyond now that your invoice isn't paid, you will be adding interest to the total due. That way there is some incentive for her to pay up sooner rather than drag it out as long as possible.

MilkTwoSugarsThanks · 29/04/2017 19:11

Edit them to make her look naturally shit and post them on Facebook. When she gets her stills comment on how much editing up the videographer must have had to do to get her to look good.

Original poster
JonSnowsWhore · 29/04/2017 19:12

Milk you're my kind of people Grin

OP posts:
PerfectPeachy · 29/04/2017 19:13

I'd keep texting but I'd also send a letter and, possibly, post on her Facebook.

Otherwise please go to the small claims court. It's really easy.

user1493453415 · 29/04/2017 19:14

Don't bother deleting the photographs, just take her to small claims court (or threaten too).

Give her a date deadline.

And in future make sure you give the date deadline up front, and ask for partial payment up front too.

Original poster
JonSnowsWhore · 29/04/2017 19:15

She's moved since we were in regular contact so I don't even know her address, everything was done by Facebook messenger. I know I have to put on my big girl pants & message her, I'm usually really lairy haha, I don't know why I can't be this time

OP posts:
Shockedwife · 29/04/2017 19:17

Judge Rinder her ass Grin

Original poster
JonSnowsWhore · 29/04/2017 19:17

Hahaha I bloody love judge rinder. But if he was horrible to me I'd be so upset Grin

OP posts:
PerfectPeachy · 29/04/2017 19:18

It's usually not hard to find someone's address.

cordelia16 · 29/04/2017 19:18

Don't delete them or threaten to. That removes your moral high ground which is unarguable - you want to be paid for the work you did. Say you are going to small claims court but also that for every week beyond now that your invoice isn't paid, you will be adding interest to the total due. That way there is some incentive for her to pay up sooner rather than drag it out as long as possible.

^^this

user1493453415 · 29/04/2017 19:21

Add interest from 24 hours time.

:-)

Original poster
JonSnowsWhore · 29/04/2017 19:23

You know what, I think I would actually feel grabby to start putting interest on Shock what is wrong with me lol!

OP posts:
supersop60 · 29/04/2017 19:23

Don't delete them - you may need proof that you actually did the work! And yy to small claims court.

icelollycraving · 29/04/2017 19:23

£200 and she is being a twat Shock
I'd tell her she needs to pay in full within 7 days,after that she will incur interest and if not paid within 14 days you will delete all photos but she will still be liable for your time. not sure if this legal but give it a go

TheExuberant1 · 29/04/2017 19:24

How strange, who doesn't want the photos of their wedding? The video stills won't be that great though so she is mad to just rely on those. I would keep a hold of the photos. Maybe if you do any other weddings in the future and put one on Facebook she will see and be intrigued to see hers and you'll then be in a position to bargain with her. I would probably go radio silent on her now, if she wants those photos she would have to come to me.

confuugled1 · 29/04/2017 19:25

Any other mutual friends or people that would have been there that you can send concerned messages to asking if they have the contact details for your 'friend' as you can't get in contact with her to sort out payment for the pictures and to send her the pictures...

Could you post a message on facebook asking if she is OK and if she could just send you payment for the pictures as promised then you can start work on editing them and sending them to her, that she keeps sending you excuses and more excuses but it's not fair to promise payment and then ignore you completely. Most photographers want paying up front before the wedding - it's sad that you thought you could trust a friend to pay you when she said she would.

Do you think she thought you would offer to do it for free?

Were you going to charge petrol on top?

nogrip · 29/04/2017 19:25

pretend you are going to delete them but don't. That way you still have bargaining power, whilst turning the screw.

And what a total fucking bitch she is to do this to you!

Original poster
JonSnowsWhore · 29/04/2017 19:26

This is what I have done, been pretty silent unless she's contacted me, thinking if she wants them she can come to me. But nothing! & now I'm getting worried my other friend will think I've been paid & pocketed the money Shock

OP posts:
bittapitta · 29/04/2017 19:26

Do not delete them! What if she asks for proof that you even took any?

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