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AIBU?

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Original poster

To start deleting these wedding pics?

437 replies

JonSnowsWhore · 29/04/2017 18:48

This is soooo outing but I don't know any other way of putting it.

5 weeks ago, I did the photography for an old friends wedding. I don't have a photography business but I did photography in college as an adult so she knows I do it cheaply to help out people I know. Before this wedding I hadn't seen her for a couple of years btw & wouldn't have been close enough to be invited to the wedding which is fine.

The wedding ended up being brought forward to when I'd still be pregnant, so I asked another photography keen friend of mine if she'd come & help me out as I knew I'd struggle doing a whole day at 7 months pregnant. Said we'd split the money between us & she said great as she'd love the experience.

So we get there at 10.30am, do the getting ready photos, horse & carriage photos, go to venue & do ceremony, group & couple photos, get a break for the food, then back again for the speeches, some of the party, cutting cake & first dance, eventually leave about 8.30pm. Bride said she'd pay me by bank transfer the next day & as I know her, I was fine with that.

Sent her my bank details the next day, got an excuse that their online banking was playing up, they'd go to a branch on the Monday to pay it. Monday morning I see on Facebook that they're setting off to their honeymoon in the uk. Don't hear anything. Midweek another message, there's no English banks so they'll do it as soon as they come back from honeymoon. I'm a bit pissed off now as it's not just me going without, I'm meant to give my other friend half. Since then it's been an excuse about their car breaking down, this money issue that money issue, can she pay me half & then the other half at the end of the month (now) so I say if that's all she can do then we'll have to do that, as I felt bad that my other friend hadn't been paid yet. She never paid the half, & never replied to my message. Now it's the end of the month, 5 weeks since the wedding & we still haven't had any money.

So, WIBU to start deleting her bloody wedding photos, what should I say to her as I'm getting bloody pissed off now, at first I didn't want to demand money as she was a 'friend' & didn't want to make things awkward, but can clearly see now that she doesn't give a shit about making things awkward!

OP posts:
HappyFlappy · 03/05/2017 11:26

Ffs she's now saying my other friend was never going to take any money, as she told her that when they were talking at the wedding

THIS is none of her business! And although the other photographer didn't ask for a fee, you offered^ one, and feel ethically bound to honour that offer.

How dare she try to wiggle out of it like this?! Words fail me - and that doesn't happen often, I can promise you. Do NOT get drawn into a discussion of who is getting how much - YOUR FEE IS YOUR FEE - and how you distribute it is up to you. £200 is what she agreed to pay, so that is what she should send you.

(You might also congratulate her on finding a videographer who is genersou and trusting enough to provide video before receiving his fee, as that is not standard practice among professionals.)

HappyFlappy · 03/05/2017 11:26

Cross-post Goose

redjoker · 03/05/2017 11:28

Shes squirming, don't let her wriggle out of it, stand strong! People like this hope you will back down and 'just forget'!

EnriqueTheRingBearingLizard · 03/05/2017 11:30

Her responses are not explanations or excuses, they're some kind of emotional blackmail fob off efforts. Disgraceful.

Judge Rinder would make mincemeat of her, he wouldn't be impressed at all.

Good luck with the baby OPFlowers

Handsoffmysweets · 03/05/2017 11:31

This reply has been withdrawn

This has been withdrawn by MNHQ at the poster's request

BlackAmericanoNoSugar · 03/05/2017 11:34

I suppose it doesn't matter whether she pays it all to you, or half to your friend and half to you. So long as she's clear that she won't get the photos until the full amount as been paid. Otherwise she might be trying to wriggle out of half of the payment by paying you and getting the photos and then disappearing before paying your friend.

Elphaba99 · 03/05/2017 11:34

What a piss taker. Angry

Do not stand for this, nor should you let her dictate who she pays. The fact that you asked your friend to help is none of the bride's business. She's using diversion tactics left right and centre.

You need to tell her firmly that YOU were hired by her, and your business arrangement with your friend is none of her concern. Also that this is to stop right here and if she does not pay YOU the full £200 by 5pm today then she leaves you no option but to take her to small claims.

She's using smoke and mirrors to get out of payng.

kaitlinktm · 03/05/2017 11:40

Can't you check with your friend whether or not she did say such a thing to NastyBride? Also tell her the comment about paying her direct. I would think it would more probably be a ruse to only pay £100 in all and then accuse you of keeping your friend's share. I would take umbrage at the insinuation though.

fourandnomore · 03/05/2017 11:40

She's going to pay you your half and not pay the other person, that's her tactic I'm guessing. Make it clear that you are adamant the other person is paid and its £200 or no photos either way. What a nasty bride.

Stormtreader · 03/05/2017 11:41

Shes trying to pay your friend either much less than agreed, or nothing at all in the hope she stays quiet. No other reason why she wouldnt send it all to you, its never "easier" to do 2 transactions!

TondelayaDellaVentamiglia · 03/05/2017 11:41

have you got ALL the photos or is she going to try and get a hold of your chum photos at half price?

the sneakyforce is strong in this one...hope you and chum can stand together!

JustMumNowNotMe · 03/05/2017 11:44

have you got ALL the photos or is she going to try and get a hold of your chum photos at half price?

Exactly what I was thinking!

Chloe84 · 03/05/2017 11:45

I would not give her any photos.

And certainly not any edited ones.

She's a grasping and entitled twat.

boovoo · 03/05/2017 11:50

Wow some people are AWFUL!

ohfourfoxache · 03/05/2017 11:51

Don't do any editing at all. This nasty piss taker doesn't deserve it.

Writerwannabe83 · 03/05/2017 11:53

She sounds like an utter cow.

If it was me I would just cut my losses, block her and she will just have to go without her wedding photos. I wouldn't have time for all her bullshit and excuses and it sounds like you have far more important things to worry about.

Original poster
JonSnowsWhore · 03/05/2017 11:53

Sorry I was so caught up in it all I nearly forgot to do the nursery run so had to dash out quickly 😂

Well I've been paid 'my half'! Yay for threats haha!

she said she's messaged my friend for her bank details so she can pay her the other half. BUT I've said if my fiend doesn't reply then to put the other half in my account aswell & I will physically take it round to my friend & force it upon her lol. Like you've said there's no point in me just being happy with my half & then giving her my photos, because then she'll have no interest in paying the other half.

OP posts:
TondelayaDellaVentamiglia · 03/05/2017 11:57

ooh at least you have some money...now get old of your chum and tell her not to be taken in and inveigled into handing over her photies cos she apparently said she was there for the hell of it!

Bridezilla is still after a bargain! I can feel it in my bones!!

Chloe84 · 03/05/2017 11:58

Strike a blow for decent people everywhere and refuse to give her the photos.

We'll do a whip round to give you what you lost.

honeysucklejasmine · 03/05/2017 11:58

Well done OP, obviously public embarrassment is the way to go.

redjoker · 03/05/2017 12:00

Why do some people have to make such simple tasks so complex, I've been trying to get £20 quid off someone for a hen do for about three months. Its beyond painful

Is it that they enjoy the thrill of the chase in some weird way?

You're half way there at least, what a saga!

Original poster
JonSnowsWhore · 03/05/2017 12:01

Haha I agree! Why would she even bring up the fact that my friend said she didn't want any money. And anyway, her saying she didn't want any money, she's told me loads of times that she didn't mean she should only pay me £100, she meant she wants me to have the full £200 because I have a baby on the way.

Please don't think by saying all this I'm going to keep the money & am some how trying to justify that, I genuinely want her to have her half. Just saying how nice she is that's all lol. Well we shall find out by the end of the day whether she pays my friend or not. Now I've been paid I will edit some for her. Probably not as thoroughly as I would have done, just some colour changing, cropping etc, but I won't send them until we have the full amount

OP posts:
RuggerHug · 03/05/2017 12:05

Don't bother editing. Seriously. Tell her there's no time now.

Original poster
JonSnowsWhore · 03/05/2017 12:12

I know people are saying don't bother editing but this is still my work that people are going to see. I might not do a lot of editing but I still have to make sure they're up to a certain standard or I get a shit reputation. I know I don't have my own business now but never know what I'll want to do about it in the future

OP posts:
fourandnomore · 03/05/2017 13:23

Very good point about the editing but I still wouldn't spend much time on it...and definitely not until she's paid the other half today.

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