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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ask how much is reasonable to spend on a christening?

29 replies

iluvgin · 28/04/2017 22:47

Just in the process of arranging my son's christening and it's proving to be more costly than I realised!
My husband and I both have fairly large families who would love to come and our best friends all have quite a few children so the guest list is around 120.
We're looking at hiring a function room in a sports club which itself is reasonable at around £100 for the afternoon, however the food price is adding up. The buffet is £10 per head which sounds reasonable until you multiply it by 120 and that's before a church donation etc!
Think the whole day will cost around £1500. It feels like a lot of money but we can't really compromise on the guest list and we want a day to remember so will pay it.

OP posts:
FloatyCat · 28/04/2017 22:51

If you can afford it, then do it, if not you will have to scale it back.
The costs are coming from the amount of people you are inviting. £10 a head is not excessive.

NuffSaidSam · 28/04/2017 22:52

How long is a piece of string?

If you can afford it and are happy to pay that for the day you want then go for it.

It seems a bit at odds with the Christian philosophy to be shelling out that much on a Christening. Wouldn't Jesus have had a basic do and donated the other £1000 to charity?!

I wouldn't spend that, but it doesn't matter what I think. It's up to you.

cowbag1 · 28/04/2017 22:54

We've just recently had our son's christening with 80 guests. We specifically looked for a venue that allowed us our own catering and then all our lovely family made food (sandwiches, crisps, salads and cake). £10 a head is expensive when people will only be expecting a buffet lunch at the most. Our venue also had a bar so we didn't need to buy all the drinks in either (we did buy some prosecco and our venue let us serve that using their glasses for a£20 corkage fee). So I think altogether the whole thing cost about £450 (and that includes £100 on some soft play hire as we had lots of little ones coming).

You need a new venue I think.

OhTheRoses · 28/04/2017 22:55

Ime christenings are small gatherings. Close family, God parents and closest friends. We had about 120 at our wedding. Christenings about 30. I have never been to a christening with 120 guests.

C0untDucku1a · 28/04/2017 22:56

Dont forget gown and cake. Thats another £200 at least

cowbag1 · 28/04/2017 22:57

Thing is, for some families, the only chance to get together is at weddings, christenings and funerals so it's nice to make the most of the opportunity.

Toddlerteaplease · 28/04/2017 23:02

It's about welcoming your child into the Christian family. Not about a big party. Sorry to be a Scrooge.

Original poster
iluvgin · 28/04/2017 23:11

Yes I totally agree it's about welcoming the child however I do come from quite a religious, large family who would all want to be there to see it, that's 40 people before we add on my husbands family and friends.
About 40 of the guests would be children.

It's not about the money as such because we can afford the £1500 and £10 per head seems to be a fairly standard price round here.
It's more that as some of you have pointed out it's a lot to spend on a day that isn't supposed to be flashy or expensive and just wanted to gauge some opinions.
Cake is free thanks to a family member and already bought the gown for £35 so that's not too bad at least!

OP posts:
R2G · 29/04/2017 01:05

It's not flashy to feed everyone. If you can afford it and that's your only concern go for it x
If you didn't have the budget you could look at a venue where you can do your own food but as that isn't the case just do it

ScarlettFreestone · 29/04/2017 02:03

If you can afford it why not?

There's nothing "non-Christian" about sharing a meal and celebrating your baby with your extended family, quite the opposite in fact.

Have a lovely day.

Isadora2007 · 29/04/2017 02:08

Would your church have facilities to provide the function after? Our church has a large hall and a smaller one too. And a kitchen. Their WI have a kind of catering service that is reasonably priced... and money goes to the church and associated charities as well.

My Godson's christening was a large "do" and was lovely. Felt more like a wedding reception with seated tables and high tea type food. It was lush.

HMWelsch · 29/04/2017 03:00

Church donation (£50?) and then closest family (parents, brothers, sisters, nieces, nephews) to a nice restaraunt.

Around £400.

highinthesky · 29/04/2017 03:10

If you want a day to remember, just pay with good grace. In the grand scheme of things £1500 for 120 people is not unreasonable and people will remember the event for the right reasons.

But be aware that it would be fair to be as extravagant with each future DC you have.

Winegumaddict · 29/04/2017 06:12

We are organising one now so chuck donation (£100???) Hall hire (£66) then food but I'm doing all the catering so I hope to keep it to around £100. I've got the dresses for the girl's for about £50. So juts over £300 all in with a guest list of 50 ish. You have a bigger guest list but you could do it much cheaper I'd you wanted. However if you don't that's fine too. I'm on mat leave so happy to make all the food. I made my wedding cake so I'll easily make a cake etc.

Love51 · 29/04/2017 06:22

nuffsaid have you read the new testament? Jesus would have had a party and invited all the poor people and lepers. He was big on parties, eg the wedding at cana.

iluv it is expensive. But if you and dh want to, that's fine.
.My venue wasn't going to provide tea and coffee til I made them.lots of people driving, didn't want to drink booze. I got the venue to do unlimited for £30.

fuckoffdailysnail · 29/04/2017 06:28

DD2s baptism cost us about £500 for everything
But she wore DD1s gown that SIL made so we didn't factor in the cost of a new gown for her

Original poster
iluvgin · 29/04/2017 08:02

Thanks for all your opinions.
Unfortunately no facilities at the church to have the do bit there.

Also not sure how much to donate to the church, thinking £100 but not sure!

OP posts:
troodiedoo · 29/04/2017 08:11

I will be organising one soon and will probably budget 1000. That'll probably be about 60 people. As someone else said jesus loved a party. And I've been to some very fancy baptisms. And some simple ones too. Whatever the reasons for having one, and the celebrations, welcoming a baby to the church family and renewing commitment to God is a beautiful thing. Flowers

luckylucky24 · 29/04/2017 08:16

I wouldn't cater for 120 people, especially if 40 are children. I would cater for 100 max.

Isadora2007 · 29/04/2017 08:18

With 40 kids I think I'd maybe hire a softplay venue!
Some do quite nice food... good coffee! 😂

SecretNetter · 29/04/2017 08:25

We'll be getting dc3 christened about Nov time probably. It will cost the church donation (£100?), cake ingredients (Dh will make it - he made our wedding cake) and outfits.

Close family and Godparents invited (25 people max) to the Christening and then welcomed to join us for a nice Sunday lunch at the next door restaurant which is on a pay-for-yourself basis.

I've been to lots of Christenings and have always preferred the casual go-for-lunch/buffet at home type to the massive wedding-esque dos which seem ott and which the baby either sleeps through or has a massive meltdown in due to all the over stimulation.

Greyhound81 · 29/04/2017 08:26

I had a similar do for DS - local pub put on turkey baps and chips at £5 a head - church donation I think was about £60 (they do two at a time) so I would say about £500. I wouldn't want to spend much more. Got the cake from M&S it was lovely and reasonable.

Pardonwhatnow · 29/04/2017 08:38

and then closest family (parents, brothers, sisters, nieces, nephews) to a nice restaraunt.

That's over 70 people here, and is why we don't have many family get togethers

Interestingangelfish · 29/04/2017 08:42

In my experience, most of the christenings at my church are largish, with about 80 guests minimum I would say. We had a largish Christening for dd, which was great - a chance to see family and friends, and we also invited the people we knew well from our church, so it really felt like welcoming her into the church. We catered it ourselves, because we enjoy that, but I know not everybody does,
If you can afford it and want to do it, go for it and enjoy.

Original poster
iluvgin · 29/04/2017 11:49

Thanks for the input everyone
Catering for that many isn't my forte unfortunately.
Think we're just going to go ahead and just not think about the money and have a nice day!

OP posts:
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