To think people on adoption leave should get the same benefits as those on maternity leave?

[Rufus27]

I'm currently on adoption leave with a young baby. Went to collect a prescription for myself today. The pharmacist immediately said, 'it's free as you're on maternity leave and he's under one'. I explained he was adopted and she rather apologetically explained that in that case, I'd have to pay.

I'm taking slightly longer leave on social worker's recommendation as DS is delayed developmentally and obviously we need as much time together as possible to build a secure attachment. Therefore our finances are currently significantly reduced.

AIBU to think that adoptive parents on leave should qualify for the same 'health benefits' (if that's the right term?) as people on maternity leave? As someone who needs fairly regular prescriptions, even with an advanced payment card, the cost quickly adds up.

I know it may sound petty - I was in two minds even to post this - but it feels like yet another example of the system working against adoptive parents. I lost count of the number of days of unpaid leave I had to take due to compulsory adoption training days, adoption panel etc. yet colleagues who are pregnant had paid leave for scans, appointments etc. In fact, some colleagues even questioned why I even needed adoption leave at all (not like I'd given birth, after all).

YABabitU

The maternity exemption certificate for prescriptions is for a woman who is pregnant and/or has given birth.

There could be any number of medical issues in pregnancy and after childbirth, it could be very costly in prescription charges if several items are prescribed. It may be to ensure new mothers don't fail to seek help during a time when money may already be tight.

I understand you feel pushed aside as an adoptive parent, but it's really for health reasons brought on by pregnancy, not just easing the financial burden of a new child in the family.

YADNBU!!!!

YABU with regards to the exemption certificate - the birth mother will have been able to claim this during pregnancy and for 1 year after birth. It is specifically for pregnant women as you have to hand it back if you miscarry etc.
My company definitely have a good adoption policy to mirror maternity leave and it's also slightly more flexible as you don't know when it will start whereas with a baby you plan when you will start your leave.
I'm not 100% sure about how many extras were allowed for court dates etc compared to mat leave, however I assume there will be some kind of limit as businesses still need to stay in business so I assume that's why some things would be limited if you need to take a lot of time off and then use all of your holiday separately.
Congratulations on your baby!

The midwife only said partly

All the free prescriptions I had during the pregnancy/ postnatal stages were directly connected to the physical process and recovery.

Umpteen rounds of antibiotics for various infected stitches/ mastitis. Wound dressings. Iron tablets. Laxatives. Soluble fibre. Filling at the dentist following being rarely able to put a toothbrush in my mouth for 2 months during the worst of the sickness phase. The anti-inflammatory gel for the trigger thumb at 10 weeks post natal was probably still connected as my joints had been significantly impacted by hormone changes. Cases like that would be hard to judge on a postnatal or not basis, as would people whose existing conditions change by it.

There were plenty of over the counter treatments that weren't covered anyway, plus an osteopath to get me walking properly months after the birth. I haven't needed a prescription since the last exemption expired 3 years ago.

It is specifically a birth mother undergoing the physical toll, not fathers on leave etc.
I agree that an adoptive parent should be supported through the equivalent of the antenatal process as well as the leave after, and accept that the adoption process has its own tolls.

But you haven't been pregnant. New mothers get free prescriptions because they have been pregnant, not because they've got a child under 1. Otherwise new fathers should get free prescriptions too?

theymademejoin my DS was 23 months when I adopted him, the impact of the trauma and neglect he endured during his life means he needs therapy that costs over 10k a year, do you have ANY idea what an adopted child has gone through and the extreamly limited support that is available to children like mine? None of this is available on the NHS you know, I have fought for 18 months to try and get the therapy my sons needs and I'm once again waiting to hear about an application to access this magical 5k. We don't jump the queue either for anything that is NHS, firmly in line with everyone else regardless of being adopted.

OP congrats on your baby, we can only hope that the additional needs our kids require in terms of our time (including the extra time off work) will at some point he recognised.

Agree!

I always thought it was because of the health issues that can come with pregnancy/ giving birth. Possibly even breastfeeding too- I know I needed several courses of antibiotics for mastitis. I don't think income has anything to do with it- Most pregnant women who work continue to do so through their pregnancy, then get maternity pay. Their household income can still be of a 'decent' amount (as in, above the amount whereby they'd be entitled to certain benefits) throughout this time- if their income drops significantly they'd be entitled to an exemption card because of this.

Gosh I did not know that was the case! A colleague had a long battle at work to get equal rights between maternity and adoption pay.

MintyLizzy - I said in my post that I believe treatments should be available based on need, not on whether a child is adopted or not. If your child has a high need then he should be prioritised over one with a lesser need, regardless of who is adopted or who isn't adopted. Not all adopted children have high needs (there are a number of adopted children in my extended family and friendship groups and their needs were very, very different).

If access to services is prioritised based on family circumstances, children with high needs may fall through the cracks. I also said I believe all adopted children should have their needs assessed as part of the adoption process so by that logic, your son would have a higher priority in accessing the services he needs, whether through a grant or the NHS or both.

You, like all parents should, are obviously doing your best for your son and it's a disgrace that you are not getting the support you need. However, I would say the same if your son was not adopted.

I'm sorry you are having a hard time accessing the help you need and hope you and your son get through this to go on and live happy and fulfilled lives.

Greetings to a fellow adoptive parent, Rufus. I'm eight years in now, with a strapping lass of nine. You are right, the system is iniquitous, but the injustices do become easier to bear. And you'll find that as your babba grows, there'll be battles, and not fights, to be fought and won.

It's perverse, really, because, as adoptive parents, we're often lauded for doing an 'amazing thing' (not that's why any of us choose to go down this far-from-easy route to becoming parents), but then there can be a little resentment when the scales of society do occasionally tip in our favour. I can guarantee that your Mumsnet career will see you read 65,789 threads carefully - and not so carefully - insinuating that it's grossly unjust that looked-after children and previously looked after children have such sharp elbows that they have priority places for school admissions. And that's such a cast iron guarantee that you can sue me for every penny I have now not got since having to give up my high-powered career to therapeutically parent a (life-long) traumatised child if you actually only get to suck up 65,788.

Good luck, OP. Our kids need parents who feel the injustices and will challenge and advocate on their behalf.

Prescriptions and dental is because women may need help specifically due to pregnancy otherwise the dad would get it as well. He is also a new parent but his body hasn't gone through pregnancy and childbirth.

You said you don't agree with the post adoptive 5k grant, I am explaining why this and more is needed BECAUSE adopted children need so much support that is NOT available via the NHS.

There is simply not enough support for our amazing children who dispite their starts in life are bloody amazing and yes, we have our pick of schools as well which also goes down a storm but I actually don't care what anyone else thinks of me or my special snowflake because I will always fight for what he needs because that's my job.

If you asked most of my family about my son they wouldn't have a clue of the challenges we face and the things he has experienced because it's private and even when we do share or behaviour is witnessed people don't always 'get it'. All kids do that or oh it's a phase or you shouldn't stand for that means sweet FA if you don't really understand the impacts of abuse neglect and loss on the brain development of a child and how that manifests itself into behaviours and attachment issues. So yes, I will snatch up that 5k just because he adopted thanks and figure out how the hell I will raise the rest of the cash to get him the support he needs. It's not a grant either, in order to access the cash we have to be assessed, find a therapist, get on the waiting list of said therapist then the government pay said therapist.

Many kids adopted or not need help but the specific mental health impacts many adopted kids face are just not catered for within the NHS, the fact that the government started to run out of cash the year they allowed adopters to finally get the support they need speaks volumes which is where the 5k cap came in. I can't begin to imagine how the families who need support going into the tens of thousands of pounds each year are coping.

YABU. Pregnancy & childbirth are traumatic for the body. The free prescriptions I got under the maternity exemption were all pregnancy and birth related, and included many surgical dressings after an infected, non-healing wound on my c-section, as well as the multitude of painkillers that went with that.

As it happens, as a direct result of my pregnancy I developed a condition which means I get free prescriptions for life.

I would gladly have given up my free prescriptions (maternity and medical exemptions) to not have had the conditions which were a direct result of my pregnancy.

There may be injustices for adoptive parents, but this is certainly not one of them.

Lizzy - I don't agree with a blanket grant because I think it results in those most in need losing out. I think when you are dealing with very complex and very variable needs it makes sense to ensure the funds go to those who have highest need. Within my family (and yes, I do know what is going on there) 2 of the 5 adopted children have needed to access additional services. One has needed extensive, expensive services, the other less so. The remaining three haven't needed anything out of the ordinary.

Children come into adoption from a variety of backgrounds. Given there are limited funds available, it makes sense to me to figure out the needs of each child as part of the process and give more to those who need more and less to those who need less. That can be in the form of access to services or grants towards the cost of necessary services.

You might not get free prescriptions but you'll get a whole year's extra free 30 hours a childcare because your child will be entitled at 2 whereas mine will only get it at 3.

Sorry - pressed post too soon. It actually sounds like the €5k is what I am suggesting - a grant towards necessary services rather than a blanket grant which was the impression I got from previous posts.

I think the free prescription is due to the fact that youve just given birth which puts alot of pressure on your body. Enjoy your new family xx

YABU. Prescriptions and dental care are given for free because of the toll pregnancy has on your body. So they only apply to the woman who has given birth; fathers don't receive these benefits either.

You made the point about post adoption depression; PND exists for men as well but they don't get free prescriptions. It's simply about ensuring women's health following pregnancy and childbirth.

I get the point about the free prescriptions being due to health issues caused by childbirth.

But I think that, for the small number of adoptive parents of under 1s in the country, it would be worth extending the prescription scheme. Not necessarily for physical reasons but so as not to increase the feeling of 'otherness' that many adoptive parents already experience. They should be allowed to feel and be treated the same the as birth mothers, whether there's a technical need or not.