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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think people on adoption leave should get the same benefits as those on maternity leave?

121 replies

Rufus27 · 28/04/2017 11:48

I'm currently on adoption leave with a young baby. Went to collect a prescription for myself today. The pharmacist immediately said, 'it's free as you're on maternity leave and he's under one'. I explained he was adopted and she rather apologetically explained that in that case, I'd have to pay.

I'm taking slightly longer leave on social worker's recommendation as DS is delayed developmentally and obviously we need as much time together as possible to build a secure attachment. Therefore our finances are currently significantly reduced.

AIBU to think that adoptive parents on leave should qualify for the same 'health benefits' (if that's the right term?) as people on maternity leave? As someone who needs fairly regular prescriptions, even with an advanced payment card, the cost quickly adds up.

I know it may sound petty - I was in two minds even to post this - but it feels like yet another example of the system working against adoptive parents. I lost count of the number of days of unpaid leave I had to take due to compulsory adoption training days, adoption panel etc. yet colleagues who are pregnant had paid leave for scans, appointments etc. In fact, some colleagues even questioned why I even needed adoption leave at all (not like I'd given birth, after all).

OP posts:
GahBuggerit · 28/04/2017 12:08

I think it's because on average women who have given birth can experience more health issues generally within the first year. So it's a nice yabu from me

Congratulations on your new dc

bonnymnemonic · 28/04/2017 12:09

As with others, prescriptions are about post-partum health as carrying and delivering a child can cause all sorts of health problems. It would be too complicated, not to mention add extra administrative burden, to determine on a case by case basis whether an individual's health problem has been caused or aggravated due to pregnancy/childbirth so I'm afraid I think YABU in that example.

However, I think all other benefits/protections should be afforded to adoptive parents in the same way as they are to those who become parents through childbirth.

AndNowItIsSeven · 28/04/2017 12:10

"It is for help when not working, not conditions relating to pregnancy and birth"

That isn't true , it just costs to much to only give free prescriptions to medical issues relating to pregnancy and birth.

Morphene · 28/04/2017 12:12

I totally agree about the adoption training, that should be paid the same as antenatal appointments.

The prescriptions is about the health impact of pregnancy, so it doesn't seem logical to extend it to adoptive mothers.

Lweji · 28/04/2017 12:14

I agree with paid leave for adoption related appointments but not medical benefits. Although I don't think new mothers get paid leave for antenatal classes. So, paid leave is mostly for medical appointments, whatever the reason.

BabyHamster · 28/04/2017 12:14

In theory I agree that adoptive parents should be treated equally. But I can see the justification in this specific case as I also understood that free prescriptions were for the mother's health during and after the pregnancy.

They're not related to maternity leave as if they were, surely fathers would get free prescriptions when taking shared parental leave?

Lweji · 28/04/2017 12:15

If health benefits were granted on a purely financial basis, then they should be granted to fathers as well.

SleepWhatSleep1 · 28/04/2017 12:20

I also think yabu re prescription and dental stuff as the body really takes a battering in a significant number of pregnancies and births.
However i also believe that adoptive parents should have a longer period of paid SMP to help with attachment. Adopted children already get increased childcare and educational funding to help with this when older, but having a full paid year initially would probably help as well.

Biffa44 · 28/04/2017 12:22

Help with health costs can be granted on a financial basis - through the NHS Low Income Scheme.
Not many people have heard of it and you do need a very low income / high outgoings (or both) to qualify for free prescriptions, but anyone can apply.

yourcarisnotadiscovery · 28/04/2017 12:22

YANBU there should be no difference in the way families are treated at all; time away from work to look after a little one means a lower income, Congratulations on your new baby! Flowers

ALemonyPea · 28/04/2017 12:25

Congratulations on your baby 💐

YABU about the prescriptions, it's purely for the mothers health that might have been hit by pregnancy and birth, nothing to do with being on any sort of leave.

It's a shame you're not entitled to a longer paid adoption leave though, that should be discretionary, and justified in your case.

Pebbles17 · 28/04/2017 12:26

I had the exact same situation, pharmacy assistant thought I would have my prescription for free but the pharmacist confirmed it was only for maternity. At first I felt the same as you but when I thought about it, it was logical that it was to help women post pregnancy as they would be likely to have health issues afterwards.

Regarding the appointments, you only get 5 days leave which nowhere near covers all of the training sessions/home study so I am in agreement that adopters should have leave to attend these. I was very lucky that my manager was very supportive and I had leave days for training and then work from home days for home study visits.

I also understand that it is not yet law for adoption leave to be enhanced if maternity leave is ? My company only offer statutory so I was not affected but not every company will match the maternity if it is enhanced which is wrong.

FeedTheSharkAndItWillBite · 28/04/2017 12:26

But it's for issues that have occured because of pregnancy or birth. So... No, I disagree with you.

GahBuggerit · 28/04/2017 12:26

Yourcar it's not about how the family is treated re prescriptions and income, it's about the woman who has birthed and has had their health potentially compromised before and after.

Hullabaloo31 · 28/04/2017 12:27

YABU around prescriptions/dental as it's a physical thing due to effects of pregnancy and nothing to do with income. The biological mothers' of adopted children will get that support having been through the pregnancy.

Everything else should be the same though.

TheRealPooTroll · 28/04/2017 12:27

I agree with pp's that the idea of the free prescriptions for new mothers is that statistically you have more health problems post-partum. However I certainly would begrudge adoptive parents having access to any benefits that would make life easier.

TestingTestingWonTooFree · 28/04/2017 12:29

Yabu about the prescriptions/dentist cost, that's due to the health toll pregnancy takes.

Yanbu about leave etc for adoptive parents. I agree with a pp that it might well be a more difficult parenting experience than an ordinary pregnancy and birth so in need of special consideration.

The other area for reform is entitlement after the death of a child. As I understand it, if your baby is still born you still get all the usual maternity benefits, but if an older child dies, any leave is at the employer's discretion (or requires a doctor to sign the bereaved parent off on the sick).

TheNameIsBarbara · 28/04/2017 12:29

I agree that time off for social workers appointments should be classed in the same category as antenatal appointments and should be granted with pay.

I also support longer statutory maternity pay for adoptive parents to assist with bonding. It is such a crucial time and should be supported by funding for SMP, and by social services and employers. It should absolutely be seen in the same way as maternity leave.

I don't agree with funding prescriptions as that is solely to do with the mothers health after the toll of pregnancy. Your baby should still be eligible.

Congratulations on your new baby OP Flowers

PotteringAlong · 28/04/2017 12:31

As everyone else says, yabu about this one. If it were financials then my husband should have a maternity exemption certificate too. He doesn't, not because he doesn't have children but because he wasn't pregnant and hasn't given birth and thus has none if the associated side effects of that.

gillybeanz · 28/04/2017 12:35

I totally agree with you and congrats on becoming a parent Grin
It didn't used to be the case, my mum said they used to push all sorts of things on her free of charge when me and my siblings were babies (adopted)
I had the most awful cod liver oil and malt, because fat babies were supposed to be the healthiest and I was born tiny and scrawny.
I went to the size of an elephant with all the free vitamins and body builders Grin
Your colleagues are clearly ignorant. Angry
Best of luck with your baby Thanks

FeedTheSharkAndItWillBite · 28/04/2017 12:36

YABU around prescriptions/dental as it's a physical thing due to effects of pregnancy and nothing to do with income. The biological mothers' of adopted children will get that support having been through the pregnancy.

Everything else should be the same though

Yes, I agree with this.

But you meeting with a social worker (for example) should be treated the dame way as a pregnant woman having a scan etc....

TheWitTank · 28/04/2017 12:39

YANBU. I completely agree with you. Congratulations on your new baby!Flowers

gillybeanz · 28/04/2017 12:42

meant to say her and us, not just us. She had free prescriptions too.

I can't believe with the knowledge we have today that anyone would suggest less maternity, or not needing any leave.

There are thousands of us who were pushed from pillar to post in the first few months of life who have serious attachment issues now.
It's imperative to have time to bond with your baby whether biological or adopted.
The fact that a baby in care may not have had a primary carer from birth, or been breast fed, makes it even more important for the first primary carer they know is able to form a bond.
I think you are brill OP, and so glad your child has found a loving mum.

user1487070016 · 28/04/2017 12:45

The maternity exemption is for medical reasons - ie being pregnant and giving birth can lead to complications and the mat ex is an acknowledgement of this. Hence adoptive parents do not get exemptions. If they did then fathers should be entitled to them too.

Meeshel29 - it is the pharmacists business as they can be fined quite heavily if they give out free prescriptions to people who are not entitled to them. OP could also be fined if she "pretended" (even by omission) that she was entitled to free prescriptions.

MyLittleBoyBlue · 28/04/2017 12:48

Our local authority advised us that we were entitled to 6 days leave prior to official adoption leave as were pregnant mothers prior to birth. This is what I told my boss and this is what we're doing. Not sure if it's right or not now Confused
Our sw has been really helpful though and arranged our training for the weekend and does the home visits at 4pm so we only miss an hour of work. Therefore I'll keep most of my 6 days for introductions.

Regarding prescriptions I assumed we would get them for free. Bit miffed to learn that I'm wrong but I suppose in terms of taking money from the government I can kind of understand it. We will be entitled to £5k of post adoption support should it be deemed necessary, for things like play therapy etc. I'm guessing birth mothers can't automatically apply for that kind of thing with their local authority so maybe that evens out the financial support?