To think people on adoption leave should get the same benefits as those on maternity leave?

[Rufus27]

I'm currently on adoption leave with a young baby. Went to collect a prescription for myself today. The pharmacist immediately said, 'it's free as you're on maternity leave and he's under one'. I explained he was adopted and she rather apologetically explained that in that case, I'd have to pay.

I'm taking slightly longer leave on social worker's recommendation as DS is delayed developmentally and obviously we need as much time together as possible to build a secure attachment. Therefore our finances are currently significantly reduced.

AIBU to think that adoptive parents on leave should qualify for the same 'health benefits' (if that's the right term?) as people on maternity leave? As someone who needs fairly regular prescriptions, even with an advanced payment card, the cost quickly adds up.

I know it may sound petty - I was in two minds even to post this - but it feels like yet another example of the system working against adoptive parents. I lost count of the number of days of unpaid leave I had to take due to compulsory adoption training days, adoption panel etc. yet colleagues who are pregnant had paid leave for scans, appointments etc. In fact, some colleagues even questioned why I even needed adoption leave at all (not like I'd given birth, after all).

As pp have said you don't get maternity exception because you're on maternity leave, you get it because of the health implications of giving birth.

I had bleeding gums in pregnancy which required treatment during and after.
I had 4 different prescriptions during pregnancy and I had at least 15 different prescription medications after giving birth we are relatively well off so probably could have afforded to pay but a lot of women wouldn't be able to.

While adoption is an amazing thing to do it doesn't put the physical strain on your body like pregnancy and childbirth does.

I agree that you should get leave for training and the like in the same way you get paid time off for maternity appointments though.

It's not a "benefit", it's to mitigate against the health implications of giving birth/pregnancy.

I take no regular medicines but had to use a dosset box after having DD as I was on so many meds that it was impossible to keep track of them all.

If it was a case of bio parents getting extra "benefits" than bio fathers would get free prescriptions too, but they don't, because its for the health of the gestating parent, you're not being discriminated against.

I am sympathetic to your reasoning but I do think YABU. As others have said, the exemption is because of the increased health issues associated with pregnancy and the postpartum period, not as a reward or compensation for having a baby itself.

Other benefits related to the baby should be identical though.

Sorry on the prescription point I think YABU. It relates to the fact that health issues are likely to occur as a result of pregnancy and childbirth and breastfeeding.

I agree that you leave etc should be the same.

Agree with most others, the reason biological mothers get free prescriptions is because there are a lot of health problems associated with pregnancy and giving birth, including holey teeth as the calcium is leeched out by the baby.

You should definitely get the same leave though, I'm really surprised you're not entitled to it already.

Sorry to disagree, but for this in particular I think the free prescriptions are to ensure that any post-birth complications are dealt with, not a benefit to replace lost income.

In terms of leave and stuff - I was entitled to time off for pregnancy related things, to ensure the health of me and my baby, but didn't apply to my husband because his health wasn't at point. As far as I'm aware there is some provision for people going through the adoption process in my workplace but I'm not sure of the details.

I can see why it feels unfair though, and you should certainly be entitled to post-adoption leave in order to care for your new little one.

Congratulations on the new addition to your family!

Adoption and maternity leave are two different things so it's unreasonable to expect the same conditions. Where I live a woman who has given birth gets 2 weeks additional time off due to the necessity of taking time off before the birth. I think women who give birth should get a bit more than that as they also have the physical recovery to deal with.
Women also may have health issues as a result of the pregnancy and the birth. It's cheaper to provide a blanket entitlement than to work out who should and who should not get it.
I don't agree with the €5k of post-adoptive grant mentioned up-thread if it is only available to adoptive parents. My sil felt she should be able to queue jump for services simply because she adopted. Services and therapies should be provided on the basis of need, regardless of whether the child is adopted or not. In many cases, this may result in an adopted child being seen earlier as their need may be greater but I see no reason why my child should be pushed below her child simply because of the adoption.

On the prescription point yabu because it's to do with health implications of pregnancy and childbirth.

Eg free dental check ups for a year because of the burden pregnancy does on teeth. It has nothing to do with maternity leave and you get it even if you are at work or not at work

All benefits for the child are the same for maternity leave and adoption leave.
A

Interesting range of feedback.

I can see where the yabus are coming from, with regard to prescriptions and the fact birth mums have given birth. That was why I wasn't confident about posting,. However, those of you who mention PND/anti depressants have obviously not heard of post adoption depression. Sadly, still quite a taboo but it has been something both the social workers and health visitors have mentioned a lot during training. Ironically, I may not have a post-birth body, but my need for frequent prescriptions is actually due to infertility/sudden menopause so still sort of hormone related.

Tbh I disagree. I think that the free-maternity-leave-prescriptions are because of the effects of giving birth on your body rather than because you have a baby at home IYSWIM. So paternity-leave men don't get prescriptions (even if they are doing shared-leave and thus taking the bulk of the maternity leave) because their bodies aren't recovering from birth.

I don't think it's downgrading you as a mother - of course you have equal rights in that sense. But it's a giving-birth-as-risk-to-physical-health issue rather than a being-a-mother issue.

Rufus - the prescriptions are not because of hormone related issues but because we have had what is effectively a parasite residing in our bodies for 9 months

Congratulations on the adoption, by the way.

Yes, I agree with others - free prescriptions are about supporting the healthy pregnancy and recovery of a woman whose body has been through the baby making process.

but my need for frequent prescriptions is actually due to infertility/sudden menopause so still sort of hormone related.

But that is similar to other people who have long term conditions.
They can get prescription discounts.

Maternity free prescriptions are for that period only and related to having had a baby.

theymademejoin Fri 28-Apr-17 14:00:31
we have had what is effectively a parasite residing in our bodies for 9 months

You bet we do.

However, those of you who mention PND/anti depressants have obviously not heard of post adoption depression.

Nope I have heard of that but I have also heard that biological fathers can have a form of PND but again, they don't get the free prescriptions because it is nothing like the extra physical health strains of carryng a child

Lots of bio mums also take long term meds and have gynae/fertility/hormone issues perhaps similar to yours, the prescriptions aren't for that, they're for the extras not the chronic conditions

I think YABU but I feel mean saying it.

The free prescriptions & dental care are because women get notoriously crappy teeth in pregnancy & also end up with countless prescriptions for paracetamol, physio belts, folic acid (5mg), folate, metformin, antibiotics, domperidone, antihistamines, urso, menthol cream... god the list is endless.

I'm sorry you don't get free prescriptions but the NHS is really strapped for cash so I think YABU.

Congrats on your baby though xx

All sorts of major life changes may lead to depression - but PND has an additional physiological and hormonal component. So yes, I'm with the majority on the prescriptions thing - gay men with a surrogate baby or even a single dad whose wife died in childbirth wouldn't get it - it's specific to reproductive health.

But I totally agree that all other forms of leave and benefits should be equal. Congratulations on your baby, and all the best for the rest of your nesting leave.

I think it's a case of what's more likely? It's always going to be more likely that the woman who has given birth will have more health issues than an adopter. For instance 7 years on I still have nerve damage that requires a regular prescription and issues with going to the toilet. And when the menopause comes for me should I also expect free prescriptions? It would be lovely sure!

If you have regular medication you should look into the pre-paid certs, they can save a fortune!

Yabu they are for women so they can have the required medication of any birth related issues.

also a lot of people's birth related PND and PTSD actually hits "critical" level (when it needs medication) after the maternity exemption expires.

theymademejoin the post adoptive grant is due to the fact that children who are adopted are far more likely to have emotional or physical needs.

I would never begrudge an adopted child for being 'seen' first or first pick for school places / appointments etc as their needs for the most part are more significant than your average child.

YANBU in the sense that I think you should be afforded the same maternity leave and pay as those who've given birth including appointments during the adoption process as per mums to be having pre natal appointments during working hours. However when it comes to free prescriptions I'm a bit confused in both my pregnancies my maternity exception card has run out at my due date with exception of dental care. .. just wondering if I've been shortchanged? Prescriptions for kids are free anyway. Pregnancy can take a massive tole on your body and I know I've had numerous prescriptions that were 100% pregnancy related and being well ultimately affects the baby.

lightgreenglass - I believe those most in need should be seen first, regardless of circumstances. I'm probably slightly biased as my sil felt her child, who had lower needs in terms of a specific therapy, should be seen before mine, simply because he was adopted. Thankfully, it doesn't work that way where I live. Children are prioritised based on need.
I do think, as adopted children are likely to have more significant needs in general, they should be assessed to determine their needs as part of the adoptive process. However, they shouldn't automatically leapfrog a child with a more significant need simply because they are adopted.

Tiptoe - it would have been due date plus one year!

Surely the free prescriptions are for any medical issue, not just birth related ones? Therefore they are really there to ensure that the (traditionally) mother is in optimal mental and physical health in order to be able to care effectively for her child at a time when their income is likely to be lower?

A birth mum cuts her finger badly, it gets infected and needs antibiotics. Free prescription. An adoptive mum cuts her finger, it gets infected and needs antibiotics. Has to pay for it.

I do get the fact that what I am arguing has financial implications (though adopters are saving the state ££££ compared with long term foster care). That said, reading your comments, I do also accept that I am probably being unreasonable/unrealistic and too sensitive. If I am honest, this morning felt like yet another reminder that adopting isn't the same as being a birth mum and I just needed to rant.
Am more rational now

Ps Even if I could turn back time and have a birth child, with my bloody free prescriptions, I would never swap our little man. He rocks.