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AIBU?

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Original poster

Help please for a witty comeback...

75 replies

Butterscotch1989 · 27/04/2017 20:54

Not strictly an AIBU, but I'm posting here for traffic, please.

I have posted in "What would you do?" Earlier today and had no answers.

There's a lady at work who keeps harassing me about whether I am pregnant yet or not. I have asked her to stop.

When/if I announce, she will turn around and say "I knew you were, I just knew it!"

What would be a good comeback for this, to let her know how annoyed I am regarding her hassling me, and then her claiming she knew?
Thanks in advance

OP posts:
NiceCuppaTeaAndASitDown · 27/04/2017 20:56

Great question! I'm watching with interest as I will have this exact scenario in a couple of weeks.

I'm actually thinking of telling my colleagues when this particular lady is out of the office and seeing how long it takes to trickle through to her.

Original poster
Butterscotch1989 · 27/04/2017 21:04

Oh my, I think you are actually me!!!
I'm fully planning to do the same. And then ignoring her congratulations when she finally finds out.

OP posts:
Original poster
Butterscotch1989 · 27/04/2017 21:06

Was thinking of saying something along the lines of " well if you already knew, why were you harassing me weekly about it? Surely if you knew you wouldnt need to ask?!" And then walking off!

OP posts:
AllRoadsLeadBackToRadley · 27/04/2017 21:06

Say "oops.. glad you remind me! Need to text DH quickly! Cover for me, will you? Should only tske 5 mins!" Run out of the office clutching a tube of KY and the karma sutra.

StillDrivingMeBonkers · 27/04/2017 21:06

There's a lady at work who keeps harassing me

It's invasive. Your manager, your union, HR in that order.

Original poster
Butterscotch1989 · 27/04/2017 21:06

Congratulations, by the way. Hope the reveal and pregnancy goes smoothly for you.

OP posts:
BluebellsareBlue · 27/04/2017 21:06

"Ah, insert annoying woman's name here, I knew you knew, in fact you were asking me so often I was beginning to wonder if you were hiding in my wardrobe during the conception!"

AllRoadsLeadBackToRadley · 27/04/2017 21:07

Ignore- I thought you were asking for comebacks for the endless "are you pregnant yet?" Question.

elQuintoConyo · 27/04/2017 21:09

"Can you drop it, please. My sex life is none of your business and you are embarassing yourself".

And speak to your manager!

Original poster
Butterscotch1989 · 27/04/2017 21:11

All roads... haha, imagine her face!!
I've been tempted to ask her for a tampon to make her think I'm not pregnant.

Still.... yes today was the worst... she cornered me in a small room and physically tried to block me from leaving until she has asked me and got an answer from me. I pushed past her and told her to stop asking me. I'm very close to making a complaint. She has asked me approx monthly since Oct last year. I'll just leave it now, as I don't think she will ask again. She had better not.

OP posts:
Original poster
Butterscotch1989 · 27/04/2017 21:11

All good replies, thank you! I'll have to rehearse them!!

OP posts:
AlternativeTentacle · 27/04/2017 21:13

Put a grievance in, that is not on and is harassment.

iklboo · 27/04/2017 21:14

'Of course you knew. You helped the alien with the probe. I ^saw you on the spaceship' in a conspiratorial whisper.

EauPea · 27/04/2017 21:14

I'd reply with "Am I? You tell me!" 😁

LilacSpatula · 27/04/2017 21:15

"Why are you so obsessed with my vagina?"

Done.

AfroBrown · 27/04/2017 21:15

Tell her you didn't know you could get pregnant through your mouth. Wait to see her expression

NiceCuppaTeaAndASitDown · 27/04/2017 21:16

Congratulations to you too Butterscotch, I hope everything is going well.

I assume your woman is the twin sister of the one I work with. I've already pointed out to her that my sex life isn't any of her business, and also that if someone was struggling to conceive and she kept asking them then it could cause serious distress but there's no stopping her!

It's getting to the point where I'm considering an all staff email to about 800 people just so that she can't then go about announcing my pregnancy to people herself!

ImperialBlether · 27/04/2017 21:18

I think you need to make a formal complaint against her, particularly after what happened today. She shouldn't be allowed to get away with that.

Justmuddlingalong · 27/04/2017 21:18

Either ‘Yes, I conceived just so you'd shut the fuck up' or 'I knew it, you are a witch'.

VladmirsPoutine · 27/04/2017 21:20

What sort of tone is she striking? There in lies a difference. Whilst I don't agree that anyone's womb should be subject to public scrutiny I also have worked with a woman who miscarried over a period of 4 years. Whenever other colleagues became pregnant she'd always smile, wink, nod. She meant no harm and in many ways she was able to deal with all the losses by talking pregnancy woes with the rest of us.

noitsnotme · 27/04/2017 21:20

I genuinely cannot believe some of the behaviour I read about on here Confused What a complete walloper she is.

Trifleorbust · 27/04/2017 21:21

"You are so smart."

elQuintoConyo · 27/04/2017 21:21

"The sperm is just passing the tonsils at the moment, but ask me again next week".

saltandvinegarcrisps1 · 27/04/2017 21:22

No you didnt know - you are just an annoying bar steward.

ScarletForYa · 27/04/2017 21:22

I'd say;

'Why do you keep asking me that? Do you think you're my friend or something?'

Or

'Mind your own business, now get out of my way before I report you for harassment'.

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