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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Mil parking when on holiday

142 replies

Flowerwords · 27/04/2017 12:46

Mil lives in central London and regularly goes away for long periods at a time say 6 weeks. Because of road maintenance etc she feels she can't risk leaving her car in the roads surrounding her home for fear it will be towed away if they do any work on the road.
So every time she goes away (at least 3 x per year) she brings the car to us and leaves it in a local station car park that doesn't charge. We are just under an hours train trip from London. She never gets the train always coach as cheaper then we have to collect her from a local town and take her to pick her car up. She has just refused to get train directly to the station to get her own car btw.
We do not have room on our drive for her car btw this has been a past battle.
She is highly demanding about this and expects everyone to drop everything when she decides she wants to pick it up. Today she has just phoned demanding we arrange to pick her up tonight to do it having arrived back yesterday. This is not convenient we both work and have 3 children who include 2 school age with after school activities tonight plus a toddler.
To clarify no she never combines it in anyway with seeing her grandchildren, no she never has or does help us in anyway. Her standard line is "it's our duty to do as she wants".
So AIBU to be a little miffed and think she should pay airport parking like the rest of us or leave her car at home.
Also her other child lives in London and could surely check on said car occasionally? ( she does help other child regularly with child care also despite ignoring our children)
Or I'm a complete cow? (Probably but seriously she has been really rude today telling us her car is more important than our children's clubs)

OP posts:
HappyFlappy · 28/04/2017 10:06

So he was helping her

Enabling. His is ENABLING her to be a twat.

thetemptationofchocolate · 28/04/2017 10:29

if she does this again you could always get hold of the car keys and leave the car unlocked in the station car park. I bet after it had been stripped of all valuables and /or torched, she'd never leave her car there again.
Then you could be all sympathy, oh dear MIL, how awful :)

Wedrine4me · 28/04/2017 11:40

thetemp naughty but oh so tempting.

KarenW · 28/04/2017 17:40

I assume she has a special home insurance policy that covers her for more than 30 days outside of the country? If she doesn't. then she is not insured either! Your husband needs to stop enabling her dreadful using behaviour!

pollymere · 28/04/2017 17:42

You have been doing her a huge favour. My PILs used to assume we'd drive them or pick them up from the airport after doing similar (and as frequently). We eventually found reasons to not be able so now they make completely different arrangements. Next time, report her car as abandoned in the station car park...maybe not...

clarkl2 · 28/04/2017 17:49

Tell her to balls off and stop being such a doormat she sounds a total nightmare

EweAreHere · 28/04/2017 17:50

Tell your DH you won't help her, and he's not allowed to hang you and the children out. If he can fit in helping her without doing that, he can do so. Otherwise, he needs to grow a backbone and tell her to suck it up and pay for transport or ask her favoured child.

jayne1976 · 28/04/2017 18:13

Wow, one of the most outrageous things I have ever read - to feel so entitled is shocking of her

Elphaba99 · 28/04/2017 18:23

The MIL sounds like a Narcissist and I can understand why the OP's DH thinks it's easier to placate her than risk screaming and turning up for work. However. Sooner or later he's going to have to become an actual grown-up and put himself, the OP and their DCs first.

The longer this enabling and pussyfooting goes on, the worse she will get. The old bat will have an absolute hissy fit initially but setting FIRM boundaries and going grey rock is literally the only way to deal with her. And you're right, she'll live to at least 100 just to annoy everyone.

OP good on you for being so firm. YADNBU. Def show this to your DH (and get him to google Narcissistic Mothers to see if she exhibits other behaviours.

123MothergotafleA · 28/04/2017 18:33

Is it a place beginning with a W.??

John4703 · 28/04/2017 18:37

YANBU your MIL is BU she feels she can't risk leaving her car in the roads surrounding her home for fear it will be towed away if they do any work on the road. tell her to phone her local council and ask about planned roadworks. How often do the resurface the roads near her.
She is being a total demanding bitch and needs to wake up.

38cody · 28/04/2017 18:42

Tell her fuck off then write a note to station manager with her Reg. and out her. Seriously. I would.

38cody · 28/04/2017 18:43

Btw I live in central London and this concern wouldn't even enter my head ffs - it's fairly rare and as other poster said - phone council and ask!

JustSpeakSense · 28/04/2017 18:45

Next time she's away report her car being parked at station, that'll put an end to that!

NoSherryForMe · 28/04/2017 18:47

She sounds like a massive pain in the bum. Suggest she gets a taxi. But echoing PPs, it's very easy to park legally in Central London and find your car has been towed, because of the parking suspensions. Westminster is a bugger for this. If they suspend a bay at short notice, they'll usually just plonk your car somewhere else, and you spend 10 minutes wondering if you've gone mad, before phoning the council to find out where they've put it. But if you're away for a while and the bay is suspended with a reasonable amount of notice, it'll end up impounded and cost ££££ to get back. I once had to go and spring my car from the Park Lane pound. It would have been cheaper to buy it a room in the Hilton opposite.

NoSherryForMe · 28/04/2017 18:48

Oh, that they suspend bays for all sorts of reasons, not just major planned works, so it's easy to get caught out.

SoulAccount · 28/04/2017 19:03

Just tell her it is absolutely not possible to do it this evening.
Suggest she takes the train. Or gets a taxi from the coach station, or re-arranges for a time when you can do it.
And if she makes problems with that say 'well, that is for you to sort out. If you need us to come it will have to be tomorrow' or whenever.

But make sure you DH is not about to cave in to her, and that he agrees. He should be the one to sort it.

I would simply not answer the phone to her.

TheMysteriousJackelope · 28/04/2017 19:07

Next time she does it phone the police and report an abandoned car in the station car park.

Tonight, text her the Uber app.

Gottagetmoving · 28/04/2017 19:11

You know YANBU. You don't have to put up with this and it can't be that difficult to say no, surely?
What will she do? Cut you off? You have nothing to lose so just politely tell her you can't do as she wants

glowfrog · 28/04/2017 19:19

2 homes abroad, lives in Chelsea and too fucking tight to pay for parking??

Forget sobbing her in to station manager, I'd slash her fucking tyres.*

*sorry, it's been a long day of people taking the piss my end and I have had enough!!

glowfrog · 28/04/2017 19:20

*dobbing, even

**and maybe scratch the doors as well

cleanlaundry · 28/04/2017 19:34

Yeah uber/local taxi firm is an option she could take

plominoagain · 28/04/2017 19:35

Cheeky cow ! Who is she ? Nancy Dell'Olio ?

Stuff that for a game of soldiers . No wonder she can afford to live in Chelsea if she's tight enough to take the piss like that.

GabsAlot · 28/04/2017 19:42

they do tend to suspend bays alot in london

im wondering why she bothers to have a car though shes away alot

i'll report the car if u want next time no bother

Purplealienpuke · 28/04/2017 19:50

Left at the end of the road til you see the sign to 'FUCK RIGHT OFF'!
That's the most brazen bare faced cheek I've heard in a good long while!
Next time you're shopping look for some balls for your husband 🤔