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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Mil parking when on holiday

142 replies

Flowerwords · 27/04/2017 12:46

Mil lives in central London and regularly goes away for long periods at a time say 6 weeks. Because of road maintenance etc she feels she can't risk leaving her car in the roads surrounding her home for fear it will be towed away if they do any work on the road.
So every time she goes away (at least 3 x per year) she brings the car to us and leaves it in a local station car park that doesn't charge. We are just under an hours train trip from London. She never gets the train always coach as cheaper then we have to collect her from a local town and take her to pick her car up. She has just refused to get train directly to the station to get her own car btw.
We do not have room on our drive for her car btw this has been a past battle.
She is highly demanding about this and expects everyone to drop everything when she decides she wants to pick it up. Today she has just phoned demanding we arrange to pick her up tonight to do it having arrived back yesterday. This is not convenient we both work and have 3 children who include 2 school age with after school activities tonight plus a toddler.
To clarify no she never combines it in anyway with seeing her grandchildren, no she never has or does help us in anyway. Her standard line is "it's our duty to do as she wants".
So AIBU to be a little miffed and think she should pay airport parking like the rest of us or leave her car at home.
Also her other child lives in London and could surely check on said car occasionally? ( she does help other child regularly with child care also despite ignoring our children)
Or I'm a complete cow? (Probably but seriously she has been really rude today telling us her car is more important than our children's clubs)

OP posts:

SapphireStrange · 27/04/2017 13:14

Er, she can feck off.

'No, we can't come to pick you up. It's not convenient.' Don't explain why and don't cave. Just repeat.

Don't let her do it again, either.

RiversrunWoodville · 27/04/2017 13:17

Ok so I have a stinking cold so probably being unnecessarily evil here but I'd anonymously tip off station to a car abandoned by non customer for 6 weeks at a time then you might never have this problem again. However as this is your MIL this is probably OTT and best ignored

CoraPirbright · 27/04/2017 13:17

. I used to live in central London - never had a problem with what she seems to assume are almost weekly road works. Could she not leave the car key with a neighbour just in case of the need to move? Mind you, that would be a rational plan so not really the solution here, I can see. Surely she plans her trips so is able to give you lots of notice of when she needs to you run around after her? Again, not really the point but still. She sounds like a demanding nightmare.

CoraPirbright · 27/04/2017 13:18

Ooh Rivers you evil genius!!

PrimalLass · 27/04/2017 13:20

WTF? Just say no. Why don't you?

pepperpot99 · 27/04/2017 13:20

Shamelessly marking!

Wotshudwehave4T · 27/04/2017 13:21

No ideas for current situation but to avoid future ones, put a wheel clamp on the car (with a link to a phone that does not work if she's really winding you up) Then when she decides never to park there again, secretly work out a way to get the clamp off without her knowing it was you

OnionKnight · 27/04/2017 13:21

Where does she live that gets such regular road maintenance?

Tell her to politely fuck off.

Original poster

Flowerwords · 27/04/2017 13:21

I don't answer the phone to her. My response would have been a rather blunt "get the train and sort yourself out" aDH is working from home today and thus is trying to find a solution ( he never stands up to her properly as he is basically scared of her, very long history of her going as far as turning up at his work during arguments over similar in past). No way in hell are the Dc Missing tonight's activities or the toddler not going to bed on time because of her. It's a juggling act anyway with timing which is why DH is working from home today. The station situation really makes me cross as it's commuters like us who ultimately suffer because of people like her taking the piss with the parking. She is not my mother thank god and I have made it clear if he does have to rush around after her this evening it can't affect in anyway drop offs and pick ups of the DC and bedtime of toddler can't be affected.

OP posts:

EineKleine · 27/04/2017 13:23

What Cotswold Strife said.

Is there a back story to this? Eg my dad has always happily done airport runs for friends and relations, often long trips at bizarre hours like 4am, always cheerfully and graciously. He wouldn't hear of any of his visitors having to make their own way from the airport, it was just part of standard courtesy I grew up with like offering visitors a drink. If your MIL, or her partner, did this for years for others, I can see how she might expect it of you now.

Original poster

Flowerwords · 27/04/2017 13:23

She lives in Chelsea. I also used to live in central London and survived leaving my car on the street so no idea why she has to do this.

OP posts:

blueskyinmarch · 27/04/2017 13:24

When she called today how did you respond? Did you agree to collect her or has no arrangement been made?

BrickInTheWall · 27/04/2017 13:25

Call the council and report an abandoned car at the station.. It hasn't moved in weeks!
That would maybe stop her parking there?

Original poster

Flowerwords · 27/04/2017 13:27

I think I will report her next time but not today as I don't have time to deal with her hanging around here all night screaming at us ( yes she will scream as Mediterranean and dramatic).

OP posts:

witchofzog · 27/04/2017 13:28

I am at how entitled your mil is being. Good for you for sticking to your guns op. Hope your dh manages to stand up for himself or she will only get worse

pepperpot99 · 27/04/2017 13:28

The more you give in to her, the more she will do it. You need to be strong!

Apairofsparklingeyes · 27/04/2017 13:29

You have to ask yourself, would she do the same favour for you? Of course she wouldn't and she would probably be quite cross that you'd even asked her. If she's rude to you and unpleasant in her attitude what do you gain by trying to be nice or running around after her?

My advice is to say no and don't justify yourself or explain why more than once because in the longer term she'll stop asking once you've stood up to her. If she stops talking to you for a while over this I'd say that's a good result!

Increasinglymiddleaged · 27/04/2017 13:29

If her car is parked in a station car park isn't the most obvious solution to get the train there to collect it? Then she would even be a 'rail user' so would have some sort of justification for dumping it there for all that time (which is completely unreasonable imo)

bigbluebus · 27/04/2017 13:29

I'm stunned that she thinks a car 'abandoned' at a station car park for 6 weeks is safer than having it parked in her own neighbourhood where presumably she has neighbours who could keep an eye on it for her.

HeartsTrumpDiamonds · 27/04/2017 13:30

Leaving a car key with a neighbour sounds like the best solution in the future.

pepperpot99 · 27/04/2017 13:30

So she lives in Chelsea, goes away three times yearly but can't fork out for the rail fare? she sounds like a dreadful tightwad. There is nothing worse than well off people who are skinflints.

ImperialBlether · 27/04/2017 13:31

She lives in Chelsea but won't pay for a parking ticket at the airport?!

Reow · 27/04/2017 13:31

@RiversrunWoodville

FeliciaJollygoodfellow · 27/04/2017 13:32

Why does picking her up involve all the family anyway? If your husband is too wet to just say no, why do you have to drag all the kids out?

She sounds awful OP.

WhatchaMaCalllit · 27/04/2017 13:32

Could she check the council website to find out before she goes if any road works are planned? Then there is no need for her to move her car at all.
www.rbkc.gov.uk/

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