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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Mil parking when on holiday

142 replies

Flowerwords · 27/04/2017 12:46

Mil lives in central London and regularly goes away for long periods at a time say 6 weeks. Because of road maintenance etc she feels she can't risk leaving her car in the roads surrounding her home for fear it will be towed away if they do any work on the road.
So every time she goes away (at least 3 x per year) she brings the car to us and leaves it in a local station car park that doesn't charge. We are just under an hours train trip from London. She never gets the train always coach as cheaper then we have to collect her from a local town and take her to pick her car up. She has just refused to get train directly to the station to get her own car btw.
We do not have room on our drive for her car btw this has been a past battle.
She is highly demanding about this and expects everyone to drop everything when she decides she wants to pick it up. Today she has just phoned demanding we arrange to pick her up tonight to do it having arrived back yesterday. This is not convenient we both work and have 3 children who include 2 school age with after school activities tonight plus a toddler.
To clarify no she never combines it in anyway with seeing her grandchildren, no she never has or does help us in anyway. Her standard line is "it's our duty to do as she wants".
So AIBU to be a little miffed and think she should pay airport parking like the rest of us or leave her car at home.
Also her other child lives in London and could surely check on said car occasionally? ( she does help other child regularly with child care also despite ignoring our children)
Or I'm a complete cow? (Probably but seriously she has been really rude today telling us her car is more important than our children's clubs)

OP posts:
SapphireStrange · 27/04/2017 13:33

very long history of her going as far as turning up at his work during arguments over similar in past)

That needs kicking into touch for starters.

I have made it clear if he does have to rush around after her this evening it can't affect in anyway drop offs and pick ups of the DC and bedtime of toddler can't be affected Good for you. As long as none of it impacts on you or means you have to pick up slack. If it does then you'd be justified in kicking your DH's arse.

Rachel0Greep · 27/04/2017 13:33

I'm amazed nobody has reported the car as abandoned, tbh. Let her get the train. Sod that for a lark!

Reow · 27/04/2017 13:34

She sounds like a cheeky cow, but also what is with all of these DPs and their lack of bollocks recently?

Tell DP to man up and tell her he will fetch her at a time it is convenient to him! i.e the weekend. Tough shit if it's not what she wants. She's trained him well.

littlemisseatsherfeelings · 27/04/2017 13:34

Book a taxi to turn up at her house who simply says your son has arranged for me to take you to the station, make sure driver fails to mention that the fare has not been pre-paid until they reach her car.

This will (maybe, she sounds like a knob) make her realise the free service she's getting, one off taxi is prob cheaper than airport parking. Tell her after that that this is the new arrangement when she obviously calls to complain to you later.

milliemolliemou · 27/04/2017 13:35

Chelsea? And can't leave keys with neighbours/ask them to keep an eye out? So it's safer for 6 weeks in a station car park?

I'm sorry you're dealing with such an irrational person. A no from you, and a no from your DH - if she's already at home, she's safe and doesn't need her car when it suits neither of you.

Sugarpiehoneyeye · 27/04/2017 13:36

Is there a good reason why she cannot get the train, and pick up her own car ?
Your only duty OP, is to your children.
Can your DH tell her, that unfortunately this evening is wholly inconvenient, and mean it. My guess is, she'll mither some other family member.☹️

littlemisseatsherfeelings · 27/04/2017 13:36

Also my DH is a massive fanny who wont say no to his mother for ANYTHING and has a sibling who does f-all to share the many burdens. Just in case it makes you feel any better.

I hear most friends confirm that their DP's are like this when it comes to the mothers. It's what I live in fear of, now that I have a son. I keep making internal promises to not be a total dick of a MIL when I am old.

Hedgehogparty · 27/04/2017 13:39

She sounds a lovely woman....
Selfish to block a car space for weeks on end at a Station she doesn't even use.
And mean as she won't fork out for airport parking.
If I saw a car left like this I'd report it as abandoned and hopefully it would get towed away.
Lives inChelsea - presumably not short of £?

GoodDayToYou · 27/04/2017 13:41

Grey rock was made for this very situation. I would just leave it to your dh and grey rock the hell out of it. Literally! Smile

HappyFlappy · 27/04/2017 13:41

Wouldn't it be terrible if someone reported mil's car as abandoned in that car park? She'd probably stop parking there. How dreadful that would be for her.

Oh, Moving - that would be a terrible thing to happen! I do hope that no-one () "mistakenly" reports the car has been abandoned . . .

diddl · 27/04/2017 13:44

I'm guessing she does it because she can!

All this "then we have to..."

Well, no, you don't-you are choosing to give into her fpr whatever reason.

I would report her car next time she does it though.

6wks at a station, cheeky bugger!

Original poster
Flowerwords · 27/04/2017 13:45

She has to be picked up from a town approx 15min away Dc Have clubs 6-7dc1 & 6.15 7.45 DC2 (2 different clubs different locations and slightly staggered times) toddler has complete meltdown if not in bed by 7pm so basically I take one child to club nearest to home then back to sort toddler whilst DH does other child then he picks them up and returns them home whilst I get toddler asleep. He has to fit in collecting his mother and dropping her at station between 6.30- 6.45 to give him time to do all pick ups or I have to drag tantrum child out again at 7pm. Yes probably possible if she was a nice grandma who sat in car and chatted to children whilst he picked them up and dropped home prior to taking her to station. But she's not and it will be tense stressful

OP posts:
Increasinglymiddleaged · 27/04/2017 13:45

So come on OP, name the station and a few MNetters will make the call.....

TheSnorkMaidenReturns · 27/04/2017 13:48

She sounds ridiculous, involving you all in her own basic travel arrangements. It would piss me off no end. Keep firm!

CryingShame · 27/04/2017 13:52

Suddenly your car isn't working, it just won't start. Might be the starter motor or the battery or the fact that you aren't picking its keys up from the hall table. Either way, you're not able to help. If you have 2 cars, one is being blocked in by the "non working" one. Repeat 3 times a year.

Alanna1 · 27/04/2017 13:52

Not the point of the thread, but when I lived in central London my car got towed because of street works. And it has happened to one of my friends. So it does happen!

WhatchaMaCalllit · 27/04/2017 14:02

Tell her no - it doesn't work for you but here is the train timetable from her station to the one she has left her car at. Fares start at X amount for her journey and she should be able to be on the train, collect her car and be home in no time at all. Unfortunately it's not possible for you or your DH to rejig your schedule to collect her so that she can get her car. Sorry but no, not possible. Repeat, repeat, repeat!!

PovertyJetset · 27/04/2017 14:02

She's a big bully and you're letting her stomp all over you!

Don't do it! Just don't- tell her to get an uber or whatever.

melj1213 · 27/04/2017 14:04

I am shocked that you not only have a station with no car-park charges and that they haven't had a car, that is abandoned for 6 weeks at a time, towed away!

I live about a 5 minute walk from my local station and all the streets around my area have a huge problem with commuters regularly parking outside our houses because they don't want to pay the ridiculous car park charges and we're up north! I'm surprised somewhere only an hour away from London, so easily in the commuter belt, wouldn't have any form of parking charge.

As for leaving the car for 6 weeks at a time ... I work in a supermarket and if someone leaves a car overnight without letting us know it is logged on the security record when we lock up the store at midnight. If it is still there when they do the lock-up security sweep the following night (and nobody has contacted the store as to why it's there) it is logged as abandoned and the following morning it is reported to the police as abandoned and towed away.

I'm surprised a station wouldn't report a car being left for such a long time, especially as I'd have thought a random car turning up and just being left would be a security concern.

harderandharder2breathe · 27/04/2017 14:04

Yadnbu

You and DH both need to say no and keep saying no and mean it. And stop answering the phone if necessary.

I hope her car gets towed as abandoned

Justmadeperfectflapjacks · 27/04/2017 14:05

How old is she? Does she have an oap bus pass?? Grin

CotswoldStrife · 27/04/2017 14:05

So she wouldn't even have to wait long before the toddler is settled at home before your DH could go out to pick her up - but she won't wait? Why won't she get a taxi to the car from the coach station, what's the reason behind that then ?!

Is the car still at the station oh I thought you'd already collected it as it wasn't there the other day when we were there

rollonthesummer · 27/04/2017 14:08

As ever, you don't have a MIL problem, you have a DH problem. He needs to tell her no!

Original poster
Flowerwords · 27/04/2017 14:19

Arrr it appears wimp of a husband has moved car a few times for her. He commutes from station. So he was helping her. Seriously I have no sympathy for him now. He did look guilty when I just quizzed him on how she can leave it so long.
We are in a rural location in the south for those asking about no parking issues. It's not a major station.
Seriously I wash my hands of it tonight, as long as my children are all uneffected by her travels I really don't care anymore. But I will happily be reporting her car next time she does it. ( I will do the reporting when DH is on a bussniss trip so he can't move it in time) Gin mil honesty mine could win an award for being the worst!

OP posts:
gillybeanz · 27/04/2017 14:25

She sounds terrible, please show your dh this thread and tell him to stop being such a pussy.
My mil would be like this if dh allowed it, he needs to be a man and stand up to her.