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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To claim carers allowance purely to dodge 'work focused interviews'

147 replies

LuckyButton · 26/04/2017 11:07

I am disabled, so is my three year old ds.

My DH is already my carer and receiving CA for me, so when ds started receiving high rate DLA I didn't bother applying for carers myself.

Neither of us works, we receive income support etc.

However since dd turned 1 the job centre has been calling me in every two weeks or so for 'work focused interviews'

I obviously can't work, even if I could there is no employer that would touch me with a barge pole due to my health.

After going through PIP assessments for myself and the DLA for ds I didn't have the fight in me to claim ESA.

However, carers is so easy to apply for (just a quick online form) and it at least means that they can only call me in once every three years.

I don't feel like I am being unreasonable but a 'friend' is appalled according to latest her Facebook status. Apparently as I'm so disabled it's a scam for me to claim carers for ds.

On the other hand carers UK, after I listed what I do for ds said it was fine.

So, Aibu?

OP posts:

VerySadInside · 27/04/2017 11:19

"Do you claim DLA/PIP btw?"

MrsDV

No I don't. I work very hard for my money so in the future I might afford children and also it seems for the OP to as well.

TheMonkeyandthePlywoodViolin · 27/04/2017 11:21

Well thats good for you. And your choice not to claim non means tested benefits.

Like having kids is the OPs free choice too.

TheMonkeyandthePlywoodViolin · 27/04/2017 11:23

OP.i hope you arent letting a far right winger get to you.

VerySadInside · 27/04/2017 11:33

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

MrsSthe3rd · 27/04/2017 11:46

You should absolutely claim. And I'd say you're more than entitled to.

Oh, and OP, you're also saving the government a shit load of money by doing it the way you are, so maybe remind your friends about that.

freshmarigold · 27/04/2017 11:48

VerySadInside

If you haven't claimed DLA or PIP then you don't know if you'd even qualify for it as it's not based on disabilities or diagnosis but rather care and mobility needs. If it's very easy for you to just work around your disabilities then your care needs might not be considered to be severe enough, the threshold is very high. People who are claiming PIP or DLA will have very high care needs which will all be fully documented.

TheMonkeyandthePlywoodViolin · 27/04/2017 11:48

Well.adjustments or money made or paid due to disability are intended to give everyone an equal opportunity/standard of living (with increased costs). If you dont need them fair enough. But denying them to those with more severe needs is not equality in the correct sense and in fact is discrimination.

TheMonkeyandthePlywoodViolin · 27/04/2017 11:49

Thats Equality 101 really.

Equality isnt treating people the same so that those with disadvantages slip to bottom.

Its creating an equal playing field.

Bumbumtaloo · 27/04/2017 11:54

Tbh I would love to be treated the same as everyone else, but that's just it, I'm different to other people! I'm me, this is the hand I have been dealt in life. I have to make the best of a bad situation.

I think you are very blinkered VerySadInside thousands (sorry don't know the actual figure) are being turned down for or having their benefits removed because it's been decided they don't qualify. I would give anything to not be in the position I'm in, I really would but I'm not going to claim what I'm entitled to because a group of small minded people think that I shouldn't.

As I said I already had my children when I became ill, I have a duty to my children to keep them fed, clothed and a roof over their heads. If that is by the benefits that I have to be reassessed for and reclaim then so be it.

I would rather my dh, who I've been with nearly 9yrs - and I'm a very different person to the one he married - didn't have to carry me to the toilet because I've soiled myself because I physically can't get there or has had to listen in heartbreaking detail how I would rather be dead because it's better for him and our children to not have to 'put' up with me. How I can't take my children swimming - tried it once ended up back in hospital. How my children have spent the early years of their lives with friends and family because I have been admitted to hospital or crying because they don't know if I'm going to be there when they come home from school.

I could go on, I really could. All for £285 every 2wks - yes we do receive other help but I'm sure you get the just.

I'm done with this thread, sometimes it would be nice if people actually thought about the shite they are spouting. I maybe a bit over sensitive today, in fact I'm sure I am but I'm actually waiting to see if I need to be re-admitted to hospital today, so yes this thread has actually touched a very raw nerve.

CrochetBelle · 27/04/2017 11:54

Have reported a number of posts on this thread, let's see how quickly (or slowly) MN act.

I really hope a couple of posters are trolls; it sickens me that some people actually have this mentality. (And contributes to the fact that I struggle financially to provide for my disabled DC, as I'm wary of attempting to claim the disability benefits I need for myself!)

Bumbumtaloo · 27/04/2017 11:58

Ugh sorry about the typos!

Spikeyball · 27/04/2017 12:08

You are not 'registered disabled' Very Sad. There is no such thing.

Dawndonnaagain · 27/04/2017 12:24

VerySad When faced with the reality of other people's disabilities you choose to ignore it. You haven't answered any of the questions I asked. Is that because you have no answer for them?
Do you know that the OP was disabled before she had her child? No you don't. Do you know if it was the pregnancy or the birth that made her disabled. No you don't. In fact you're not actually aware of anyone's circumstances but your own. So stop justifying your position. It's ill thought out, cruel and bloody rude.

lougle · 27/04/2017 13:03

"Spikeyball

You are not 'registered disabled' Very Sad. There is no such thing."

Actually, there is such a thing. Local authorities are obliged to keep a register of disabled people under Section 29 of the National Assistance Act 1948, although there is no obligation for any individual to seek registration as disabled. In my LA, if you ask to be registered as disabled, you are issued with a yellow card which confirms your status as disabled and lists your main areas of disability.

TheFirstMrsDV · 27/04/2017 13:49

No I don't. I work very hard for my money so in the future I might afford children and also it seems for the OP to as well

What has working hard got to do with it? DLA isn't an out of work benefit.
Its quite strange that someone who identifies as disabled wouldn't know that.

TheFirstMrsDV · 27/04/2017 13:50

Technically it may be lougle but despite working in disability for decades I don't know anyone who registers and I don't know anyone who is disabled who refers to themselves as 'registered disabled'. Its a term most often used by people with very little contact with disabled people IME

lougle · 27/04/2017 14:18

I registered DD1. Anecdote of 1, granted. But she had the right to be registered and the LA had the obligation to register her, so I ignored the sigh from the lady who didn't want to find the form that nobody asks for and they never use and stood politely while they found it and worked out how to process it, then thanked them when they found the card to issue her with. It was also quite helpful when we went to places that did concessions for people with disabilities, because instead of taking the DLA letter, I could just hand over the yellow card. But it expired in 2015 and now that she's 11 I haven't bothered to renew it, yet. Probably because it's obvious that she has SN.

Spikeyball · 27/04/2017 14:40

It seems to depend on where you live. My LA says they are no longer required to do it since 2015.
I doubt that poster is.

TheFirstMrsDV · 27/04/2017 15:01

Its not something we ever bothered with Lougle because its really a data collection exercise to be honest.

It doesn't make give any additional access or resources although I take you point about the card being handy for concessions. I dislike producing DLA letters because they are so personal IYSWIM.

Ilovewillow · 27/04/2017 15:12

Hi I know nothing about benefits so I'm of no help but I just wanted to say you sound lovely and I'm sorry this ridiculous system is so complicated. Your friend sounds awful, you should absolutely claim what you are rightly entitled to as a family - good luck!

MsHooliesCardigan · 27/04/2017 15:27

Bumbum Please don't let the twats upset you. I'm so sorry things are so difficult for you

lougle · 27/04/2017 15:58

Yes exactly, MrsD. I took DD1 to the Ice Rink and asked about disability discount. The chap said 'what's her disability?' I quietly sighed and politely said 'widespread subtle cortical dysplasia'. He paused and said 'it's not on my list...' I replied 'No, it won't be. It's quite rare, which is why she's in a genomic study looking for rare genetic disorders. But she does get high rate DLA and goes to special school.' He said 'I'll have to go to the office and ask my manager.' I think my yellow card would have been handy, or her DLA letter, but that does say so much about her.

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