To claim carers allowance purely to dodge 'work focused interviews'

[LuckyButton]

I am disabled, so is my three year old ds.

My DH is already my carer and receiving CA for me, so when ds started receiving high rate DLA I didn't bother applying for carers myself.

Neither of us works, we receive income support etc.

However since dd turned 1 the job centre has been calling me in every two weeks or so for 'work focused interviews'

I obviously can't work, even if I could there is no employer that would touch me with a barge pole due to my health.

After going through PIP assessments for myself and the DLA for ds I didn't have the fight in me to claim ESA.

However, carers is so easy to apply for (just a quick online form) and it at least means that they can only call me in once every three years.

I don't feel like I am being unreasonable but a 'friend' is appalled according to latest her Facebook status. Apparently as I'm so disabled it's a scam for me to claim carers for ds.

On the other hand carers UK, after I listed what I do for ds said it was fine.

So, Aibu?

I shall just say, without going into too much personal detail, that this was a discussion that came up a lot in my previous employment. We spoke to various people about this, and, like you heard, some of the initial comments we heard back from people we spoke to were 'How can you be a carer if you care for someone else?!'

And then (most) people sort of stop and think, and realise that actually, you can easily be if different disabilities require different types of care, or if two people can manage better than one. The conclusion was that this is absolutely acceptable so long as the various disabilities/care involved don't contradict each other (which would be another situation entirely, and is clearly not the case for you).

And ultimately, this is legally allowable because it's actually seen as better for the system financially - it is far cheaper for the system if a husband/wife/family mutually support each other, than to pay to get an external carer in each day, which would be another option for someone entitled to that care! (If you see what I mean there?) So the argument from people who have no idea about your situation makes no difference at all.

So I just wanted to say to ignore the silly comments from your 'friend'! There is absolutely nothing wrong with validly claiming Carer's Allowance which you are absolutely entitled to do. Don't let anybody make you feel bad for that. It's there for a reason, and you have every right to it.

'Friend' and a couple of people I don't really know from the estate are calling us scroungers and apparently I am disgusting and all that is wrong with society. Shouldn't have had children, government should cut off all benefits and let the scum see how hard it really can be.
To paraphrase a pp, that's not a friend, that's a bitch.
I really don't know what's wrong with some people, or why they think that various disability benifits are so easy to get by on, but it has nothing to do with anyone else.
Just make sure that claiming careers allowence won't make any difference to your claims, but if it not I think it's clompletly reasonable to go for it

You can absolutely claim carers allowance if you are actually performing that role, regardless of whether you have a carer yourself.

You can even have a carer who you also are a carer for! It entirely depends on who does what for whom!

You need to claim esa. You're entitled to it.

You also need some legal advice urgently about these interviews. People in receipt of pip do not need to attend these interviews, the job centre are taking the piss. Ring cab or www.disabilityrightsuk.org tomorrow.

Your so called friend sounds a bitch.

Anyone who wants to get high and mighty about someone claiming £62 a bloody week for 35+ hours work needs to take a good hard look at themselves. Hardly making you a millionaire is it? Yet if your DH claimed the CA for your ds and then you brought in external carers for yourself it would be costing the government a lot more!

I'm sorry this so called "friend" has made you feel this way. She is not a friend. Ignore, ignore, ignore. You have every right to claim. I can't believe some people seem to think that a person can't be a parent and disabled at the same time.

Absolutely wrong that someone who has a carer because they presumably can't look after themselves, can then become a carer looking after someone else. What sort of nonsense is that?? Surely the carer can care for both DW and DS? But hey, it's the system at fault, and I guess people can't be blamed for taking advantage of it.

Hardly making you a millionaire is it?

Far from it, I often feel very guilty as I know DH confidence has taken a huge knock since he had to leave work to care for me.

My faith in humanity has been restored somewhat though, I got a phone call from one of the other mums just after 6am this morning (she want being rude, she knows we are always up anyway at that time)

Ex friend deleted her status after a few other shared friends getting wind of it and having a go at her on it.

Feeling a lot more positive this morning, wanted the ground to swallow me yesterday.

You can claim carers so go ahead but don't tell anyone - its none if their business. You won't automatically get ESA either and unless you get put intoi the support group (which is almost impossible) its no extra money and a nightmare to claim.
Is it a new thing having to go to the jobcentre? As far as I knew the parent of a carer shouldn't be called in but this may be new thing.

We often advise people to claim carers allowance for each other if work focused interviews become too much.

Definitely claim Carers Allowance, there is no defined terms of what care you have to provide for your son, just as long as it is 35 hours. Just sitting and supervising your son while your husband does other things is enough.

You will actually get more money. The carers allowance of £62.70 will be paid to you and then £62.70 deducted from the income support but you will then have another carers premium added to your income support (your husband will already get one) this will mean you are entitled to £34.95 per week more.

People are not penalised for doing this. It is encouraged as people caring for there own families means they are less likely to need help from local authorities.

It is extremely common in older people where both are on attendance allowance for example, they both claim Carers Allowance for each other, and while they can't actually get the Carers Allowance itself in cash as they get State Pension instead, they are still entitled to the carers premium each in any means-tested benefits they may also get are higher. They have a bit more money, more likely to be able to manage more between themselves.

PIP assessors might try and trip you up, but that's just their tactics. They would still ask questions about caring for your son anyway if they thought you might contradict yourself.

"Absolutely wrong that someone who has a carer because they presumably can't look after themselves, can then become a carer looking after someone else. What sort of nonsense is that??"

The OP has described that she has physical disabilities that prevent her from taking full charge of her children, but she provides emotional support for them and sees to them in the night when they wake. That is care and the requirement for carer's allowance is that you provide care for a disabled person for 35 hours or more per week.

Claim it.
You are a carer.
I care for two people. My DS and my OH (as well as the ordinary stuff for the other DCs).
I have done this for 14 years.
I cannot claim carers because I work part time and earn too much (i.e. over £100 a week)
For the last 12 years I have had complex PTSD and MH issues. I wouldn't describe myself as disabled but that is my issue. Despite being incapacitated to varying degrees by the PTSD over the years my caring responsibilities don't just go 'pfft!'

Would people suggest that disabled parents dont claim child benefit because 'how can you look after a child if you need caring yourself'

There will always be people who don't understand. We can't live our lives according to their ignorance.

oh verysadinside, go back under your bridge, no one is interested in your opinion

Your 'friend' is a horrible, horrible piece of work, I hope you're never going to see her again.

Report her, get her benefits claim examined and see how she likes it.

Really VerySadInside? What would you suggest I do with my two dd's? As I said in a previous post one of my issues came to light after I was sterilised after having dd2, we were trying to do the 'right' thing.

Does that mean because I have children I'm magically okay to work? Or is it different because I had my children then became ill - for the record I have several complex issues I am seen by three consultants at three hospitals, I will never get better ever! It's only taken me two suicide attempts to realise this is my life.

Seriously, I know your comment was aimed at OP - I guess because she originally posted she's 'fair' game. But a little bit of empathy goes a bloody long way!

I do look after my one year old in a way every other parent does.

It's my ds that needs extra help, not dd.

I wasn't as bad before ds and was able to move around a lot more and work.

I do genuinely hope you remain healthy for the rest of your life VerySadInside apt username I assure you, it can be a big shock if you don't.

Though I shouldn't really be explaining myself, I wasn't aware we were in the sort of regime yet that meant disabled people weren't allowed to have children.

Anyway, thank you everyone. I feel a hell of a lot better than yesterday.

(And bonus: I didn't think there would be extra money, that extra £34 will be a life saver if we do)

I get CA because I care for DS1 but I still have to have an interview every 6 months. It is in & out within 10mins though.

lucky don't justify yourself to Sadie.
I know we all do it but its pointless because their arguments just go on and on until you get to 'well why didn't you get them ADOPTED!!!!'

Its tedious and they are unimportant.

I could cope ok with once every six months, so that would definitely be better

Good point TheFirstMrsDV

It's so hard not to sometimes though isn't it, even though it's totally playing into their narrative of 'ungrateful' dossers.

Agreed. Some people are not worth giving headspace to.

Claim it. If you are entitled to it you should claim it.

Sosad needs to read about criteria for higher rate DLA ..its quite hard to claim for a 1 year old and means significant extra care is needed.

Or alternatively they need to STFU and atop being disablist.

verysadinside- very apt name you have there... good job you're not in charge of who has kids eh ?

What a vile post