To claim carers allowance purely to dodge 'work focused interviews'

[LuckyButton]

I am disabled, so is my three year old ds.

My DH is already my carer and receiving CA for me, so when ds started receiving high rate DLA I didn't bother applying for carers myself.

Neither of us works, we receive income support etc.

However since dd turned 1 the job centre has been calling me in every two weeks or so for 'work focused interviews'

I obviously can't work, even if I could there is no employer that would touch me with a barge pole due to my health.

After going through PIP assessments for myself and the DLA for ds I didn't have the fight in me to claim ESA.

However, carers is so easy to apply for (just a quick online form) and it at least means that they can only call me in once every three years.

I don't feel like I am being unreasonable but a 'friend' is appalled according to latest her Facebook status. Apparently as I'm so disabled it's a scam for me to claim carers for ds.

On the other hand carers UK, after I listed what I do for ds said it was fine.

So, Aibu?

You are still being disablist
Hth.

Verysad ODFOD!

Live it's quite possible for somebody with one disability to be able to care for someone with a different disability. In some cases it's quite possible for those with with the same disability to care for one another. I'm disabled, I care for my disabled dd. Our disabilities differ in many ways despite having the same label.

I don't actually know what to say about that...

Naturally, all disabled people are the same, so if one manages to work we all must be workshy scroungers. Especially if we can sound articulate and use the internet.

The horror.

I never said that. But you are obviously able to type, even simple typing work is available or take in ironing if you are able to do that physically. Simple data entry from home. There is tons of stuff.

Sure thing VerySadInside, I'll get right on it.

David Cameron claimed DLA for his son because he was 'entitled to'

Should he have not because the system is supposedly stretched?

What a moronic post verysadinside.

How dare you know how to type Lucky !

Norfolk, DLA & PIP are not means tested, and are awarded to people in all financial circumstances. I've had colleagues with disabilities, some severe, who have received disability benefits as well as a full time salary. People could argue that someone capable of a full time career can't be severely disabled. Of course that's complete rubbish!

I have an acquaintance who 'can't work' because he had his lower leg amputated. I had a colleague in a demanding, full time role, who had Polio in childhood, and couldn't walk at all. Two completely different mindsets around a very similar disability. Without knowing specific details of someone's capabilities, none of us can judge.

I find it astounding that it's an accepted option in this tiny country to decide to have a child and a partner and both of you stay at home having your entire lives paid for by taxpayers. We are literally the only country in the world where this is not only an option but considered unreasonable to be exasperated by it! There is a reason no other country has this system,as its unsustainable! as we are now seeing with the vital public services suffering and being at the brink of collapse.

What the actual fuck VerySadInside? If you have disabilities your self it makes your attitude even worse! Who are you to say what the OP can and can't do?! Do you not think she would rather have a different life to the one she has?! Sorry for speaking for you LuckyButton I'm sure you can actually speak for yourself!

I worked full time from the age of 15 until I was classed as too unwell to work at 32. At first I still went to work - more fool me, I fainted more than once due to pain and was sick more times than I care to remember. I was taking a daily cocktail of drugs (I still am) - one of which is modified release morphine. I was admitted to hospital 18 times in a 13 month period for a minimum of a week to try and help me. I ended up getting fired from my job after spending months with no pay, I am not safe to work end of! I can write on the internet, hell I can even talk to people - imagine that! I'm sure the people who have spent several years at medical school are in a better position to decide if I'm well enough to work and I'm sure it's the same for the OP.

My dad was my mums carer, and she was his carer. Both had high rate DLA. They both had very different health issues and managed by supporting each other, but struggled alone. So it is possible for a carer to be a cared for person.

Unknown to us (they didn't like being a burden so didn't tell us), Mum was admitted to hospital late one night and unfortunately without her at home to support Dad he over exerted himself causing breathing difficulties and died.

Is it unreasonable for you to claim carers allowance? It depends on your circumstances which we wont know in detail. The only thing I would suspect they would question is if you can only partially care for your son can you be a carer for him, your dh can fully care for him, surely he is then his fulltime carer?

What would happen if your dh wasn't available for a few days? You could get a carer in to help you, but who would do the caring for your son that you cant do? Not sure how that works?

Whatever you decide to do, seek advice first, mum and dad found citizens advice very helpful.

MuncheysMummy awful isn't it.

I mean personally, I'm glad we are in a country where me and my children aren't left to starve.

But your right. It's definitely people like me dragging the country to it knees.

Perhaps next time you have a spare moment you could do a little research into the actual figures of disability payments, how much benefit goes unclaimed and how much is lost through major businesses avoiding tax.

If you think it's disabled people, jumping through all the fiery hoops that claiming benefits entails, sucking up all the money then frankly I'm amazed you manage to hold a full time job.

Bumbumtaloo that's quite alright

Verysad, I spend a significant amount of time on the lavatory, due to my disability. I often Mumsnet from there. Should I be doing data entry instead? Whilst in pain, having spasms? What about the times when my posts are a little jumbled because the medication or the pain are more in control then my very good brain?
How about my dd? She can walk a bit, she is in constant pain, if she coughs she's liable to dislocate a rib. She uses Facebook as a means of communicating with the outside world, should she be doing data entry in-between her suicide attempts? Or should I in between trying to stop them?
Can you see how you are not thinking things through and how your posts are disablists? You're disability allows you to work. Others disabilities don't.

'I find it astounding that it's an accepted option in this tiny country to decide to have a child and a partner and both of you stay at home having your entire lives paid for by taxpayers.'

Yup. I used the power of my mighty mind to make myself disabled. Then, what? Dropped ds repeatedly in his head for the DLA money?

How much 'decision' do you expect was involved in this?

I think I'll listen to my own body and, oh I don't know, consultants and medical professionals when it comes to how suitable I am for work.

I'm going to have to step away from this thread now I think.

Thank you to everyone who has been not-a-dick, even if you haven't agreed with me

You've been very helpful and feel a bit more like a human being again, so thank you.

gran I know that. I was making the point against what was said by verysad about claiming 'just because' they're entitled to it.

I'm sorry Dawndonnaagain, it sucks that you/we even have to explain that.

Do you honestly and truly believe that our country is on the brink of collapse due to disability benefits.

WTF.

Nuclear warheads, bailing out the banks? A damn sight more costly than the benefits bill. Bloody educate yourself.

Is there ever a responsibility to say 'unfortunately I'm not in a position to have more children because i know I'll never be able to support them financially and it's wrong to rely on state when that money should be for unavoidable costs'
I think probably not because there's no way of knowing if medical advances or technical advances will help people back to work in the future. And anyway the decision has been made in this country that we will offer this type of support and that is right in my view. And of course most of us are supported in some way through the state - schools/NHS etc. Are net tax contributors the only ones who can take the moral high ground? Of course there will be people who take advantage but in this case it just highlights the wastefulness in the system of the repeated assessments of someone who's needs are not likely to change. That's what your 'friend' should be getting angry about.
I can see why the cared for being a carer might seem odd on the face of it, but not if you give it more than two seconds thought.

VerySadInside you should work for atos.

MuncheysMummy, I would get banned if I said what I think you should do.

OP, I swear I don't work for them even though I've been advising people a lot lately to use them, but do call the Disability Information and Advice Line, 0808 800 3333, for welfare rights information and support.

verysad well me and OH both work outside the home despite our significant issues.
So stop being so lazy and entitled and get your arse out of your house and do a proper job. Your disability is no excuse for 'working around' anything. You should be working at least 9-5 5 days a week or you simply are not contributing enough.
Do you claim DLA/PIP btw?

Munchey
Do some research, you'll find that the figures for such a scenario are actually very low. Apart from which why the fuck do you get to decide who can and can't have children? Are you the reincarnation of Marie Stopes? Do you think the poor shouldn't be allowed to reproduce? I personally feel a bit that way about the hard of thinking...

I find it astounding that it's an accepted option in this tiny country to decide to have a child and a partner and both of you stay at home having your entire lives paid for by taxpayers. We are literally the only country in the world where this is not only an option but considered unreasonable to be exasperated by it! There is a reason no other country has this system,as its unsustainable! as we are now seeing with the vital public services suffering and being at the brink of collapse

Ok.
The OP didn't decide to have children and be supported her entire/their entire life by the taxpayer.

Can you give me a source for your statement that the UK is the only country in the world where it is possible to be supported by the state in times of ill health/disability?

Our welfare state is struggling due to the years of cuts made by successive governments and you believe its crumbling and that is caused by disabled people because you are stupid enough to believe the propoganda.

Are you suggesting that the OP is not disabled?
If you accept that they OP is disabled are you actually objecting to living in a country that doesn't institutionalise and/or let families starve for lack of support?

Are you actually saying people with disabilities should be prevented from having kids?

Go back to Nazi Germany.

That was my next question.
Also, as the majority of disabilities are acquired rather than congenital, do you advocate removing the children of disabled parents rather than supporting them to raise them?

Cos you do realise that is very much more expensive don't you?
Don't you?