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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

PIL Next Door

75 replies

MrBonkers · 24/04/2017 14:45

This is more a question about how you would feel if your PIL/parents moved in next door. This situation occurred to friends of ours a few years ago after the house next door to them went on the market. They became aware that the wifes parents had also put their house on the market but didn't put two and two together until the new "neighbours" actually moved in.

Sounds weird to me but fortunately our friends are pretty laid back and coped (up to a point), they moved a few miles away about 4 years later.

Could you cope or would you be getting the estate agents in pronto?

OP posts:
Joinourclub · 24/04/2017 14:46

Omg no

xStefx · 24/04/2017 14:47

I would have moved pronto just so the sneaky bastards didn't get away with their game!!

" Oh you should have told us, if you had we would have mentioned we were actually thinking of moving ourselves"

Twooter · 24/04/2017 14:47

I would hate it.

Huldra · 24/04/2017 14:48

I would think it very very odd if my parents were going to move in next door and didn't mention it.

The only nice explanation is that they thought it would be a funny surprise for their daughter.

Pinkheart5915 · 24/04/2017 14:49

We have no neighbours just fields Grin but I honestly wouldn't mind it at all, I've only mil now as fil passed away.

Mil only lives 10 minutes drive away and We see her most days, my babies love seeing her and she loves watching them while I go for my run/hair cut and the occasional overnight while me & dh go out

AdoraBell · 24/04/2017 14:49

I would have to move. Luckily it will never happen.

Primaryteach87 · 24/04/2017 14:50

I would expect it to be a joint decision that it was desirable for us and parents/in laws. How weird to just do it without consulting!

KarmaKit · 24/04/2017 14:52

I would hate it. Not because I hate my PIL - they are ok people. Just because I'd hate living next door to family. I adore my parents and I'd hate living next door to them too!

ElsieMc · 24/04/2017 14:54

We lived very near PIL and SIL. It didn't really bother me at first, but it soon did. FIL had a key and I always remember hearing his footsteps on the stairs when we were in bed together. His sister would "borrow" my clothes, sometimes before I had even worn them. They would help themselves to stuff from our fridge. I would get in from work to find eggs gone. To add insult to injury, they would then ask me to get their shopping for them the next day when I couldn't drive and had to get the bus home!

The house was in need of full renovation but they still gave dh a list of ridiculous jobs other relatives wanted doing regularly. I don't mean urgent work either. Once he rewired his uncle's large house and they gave us a rusting washing machine (which I found leaked) as a "thank you" or rather an f-off. He made no charge for the rewire.

Needless to say we moved after just 12 months.

NerrSnerr · 24/04/2017 14:55

We've had a bungalow behind our house on the market. We have been concerned my inlaws would want to buy it. They are 90 minutes away, I wouldn't mind them being closer but not in a house where they can see us through the windows.

comedycentral · 24/04/2017 14:56

I would love it! They are nice people x

CMamaof4 · 24/04/2017 14:58

I would move asap

Judashascomeintosomemoney · 24/04/2017 14:58

Funnily enough I'd rather my MIL next door than my own parents. MIL is easy going and would give us space whereas my DM would be in and out every two minutes!

Stormwhale · 24/04/2017 15:00

My own parents wouldn't bother me as they would leave me alone unless invited. My pils... oh Mary mother of God no. They would be round every bloody day and I would feel trapped and claustrophobic and a million other negative feelings.

ChicRock · 24/04/2017 15:00

I wouldn't mind living next door to my FIL.

But I think the crux of it is, any parents that only announce they're moving in next door, on the day they actually move, are likely to be nightmare in-laws anyway.

The scenario in the OP indicates a strained or difficult relationship.

flumpybear · 24/04/2017 15:01

Bloody hell no way!!! Not even if it's a detached house!!

TotalPineapple · 24/04/2017 15:01

PIL I wouldn't mind, if it were my mother my house would be on the market the next day.

Seriously weird to do it in secret though.

onalongsabbatical · 24/04/2017 15:07

Jaysus, that's beyond weird. Not telling them? They have got to be the PILS from hell to do that. What were they thinking?

Hey, this'll be fun - wait till we see the look on DCs face!

BeyondThePage · 24/04/2017 15:07

We'd be fine with it, it is something we are going to have to look into in the not too distant future anyhow to be honest, as MIL is in the early stages of dementia. Rather next door than across the landing!

Gottagetmoving · 24/04/2017 15:08

It depends on the people concerned.
Some families get on well and support each other and can communicate and others can't.
There will be just as many pils who would hate having their children, SIL or DIL living next door as there are children dreading their parents doing the same.

Hassled · 24/04/2017 15:08

I actually don't think they'd mind and as they're getting more infirm and live in the middle of nowhere it would be quite reassuring to have them next door. They'd keep themselves to themselves unless strictly necessary - so much is going to depend on the individuals.

londonfever · 24/04/2017 15:11

I honestly would not want either my DPs or DPILs moving in next door.

Katedotness1963 · 24/04/2017 15:11

I've managed to keep an ocean between me and my in laws for the best part of 30 years. I have no desire to change that. Next door? Nightmare!

Beelzebop · 24/04/2017 15:13

No way. X

Moanyoldcow · 24/04/2017 15:13

I'd love it but mine seem to be unusually agreeable!

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