Airlines, seats, passive aggression

[RebeccaWithTheGoodHair]

I was on a long haul flight over the weekend, 2 lots of 7 hour flights with a 3 hour stopover in the middle - it was never going to be a pleasant journey.

The first bit was OK but on the 2nd flight the people in the row in front sat down and immediately put their chairs back. Not just a little tilt either. They were practically in our laps. Our dropdown trays were hardly usable and the screen was difficult to see.

Of course they were perfectly entitled to do it and I could have done the same. Except I didn't because it's so bloody horrible for the person behind.

I don't get why airlines put these type of seats in, even using the tilt doesn't make them relaxing in any way. All it does it make it slightly less uncomfortable for the person in that seat - but 100 times worse for the hapless person behind.

My AIBU is whether giving it an extra hard shove when trying to use my tray or pick up my bag is U or not?

And if you are someone who does drop your seat back like that then don't you realise how horrible it is for the person behind you?

Some airlines are no longer installing reclining seats because of the issue of intrusion on other people. The reclining seat was designed a long time ago when folk didn't undertake trips around the world on huge airliners. Folk were more considerate, rather than nowadays when there are so many of the "I paid for this I'll use it selfish idiots" we have nowadays. If folk are so tired they need to sleep on a plane they can pay for better seat with sleeping facilities. No sure if plane travel is public transport at least not commercial airlines.

I've never once, in many years of flying long haul, had a "drink go flying" because someone reclined their seat. The tray adjusts as the seat goes back.

The A380 I flew on last week has lovely special little cup holders above the tray which were very handy.

Folk were more considerate, rather than nowadays when there are so many of the "I paid for this I'll use it selfish idiots" we have nowadays.

Along with the "I paid for this so I'm going to insist another person doesn't do selfish idiots.

Folk were more considerate a long time ago? Possibly.

Airlines crammed fewer seats in to their planes a long time ago? Definitely.

Fewer people flew and tickets were more expensive a long time ago?
Also definitely.

Reserve a seat with extra leg room or no seat in front.

(Unless apparently if you're pregnant and you can't sit in the extra leg room seats as I found out when reserving seats last month!)

I do accept I was slightly unreasonable - I was tired as I was flying long haul and when I posted I was jet-lagged and achy.

The first flight was overnight so everyone reclined their seats and dozed whilst the light was dimmed. That's cool.

The second flight was during the morning, the lights weren't dimmed and most people were awake. I accept the people in front of me had maybe already done a long journey (as I had) and that they wanted to recline and relax. My gripe is that they did is as soon as they got in and didn't bother to check behind. I totally accept they have the right to do this but it did affect us.

They sat up when they wanted to guzzle their food but immediately put their seats back (not slowly) when they had finished, not checking whether we were still eating or not. This did cause the coffee to slop around and was mighty annoying.

Due to the slope of the seat it wasn't easy to get out for the loo - would have had to shimmy out sideways hence climbing instead. I wasn't the only person who did that either.

It was a new Airbus 380 for anyone who is interested - and was a very nice plane indeed. When the seats were upright it felt spacious and reasonably comfortable.

I still don't entirely agree that shoving the bugger in the back when I tried to put my tray up was completely unreasonable. And although this is no doubt considered drip-feeding and entirely un-MN I did have to call the steward who did ask the person to put their seat up so I could put my tray up - so this guy knew he was affecting me but immediately put his seat straight back down again and not gently (perhaps he was annoyed with me ).

Anyway, over the jetlag now and back to my usual sunny self. Time to go out and trip old ladies up in the street if they dare to walk too close to me ...

I thought it was an Airbus A380. The flight you described sounds like Thailand to England via Dubai.
I've done that one a few times with Emirates and found there to be loads of room on the A380.

They sat up when they wanted to guzzle their food but immediately put their seats back (not slowly) when they had finished, not checking whether we were still eating or not. This did cause the coffee to slop around and was mighty annoying

Guzzle?

People who recline their seats also guzzle their food now, do they?

You do seem remarkably intolerant and sneery of almost everything that is perfectly normal to do on a plane.

I agree it was thoughtless of them to recline their seats again before you'd finished eating. The usual etiquette is to wait for the food trays to be collected from you and the row behind you, then recline. Perhaps they just haven't flown much and don't know the drill or didn't think it through.

But you could have just popped your head over and politely requested that they give you ten more minutes to finish eating and get rid of your tray. I'm sure if you'd asked without too much scowling or stropping they would have happily complied. That's what most normal people would do, anyway.

'Someone said they didn't ask before reclining because they don't have to. That person, and people who think like that, is selfish. There are lots of things humans don't have to do but we do because it's polite.'

It's ridiculous to expect to be asked by other passengers if they can use their seat in the way it's designed.

Being taller i get this issue and consider it rude. Last time i just braced with my knees in the centre of the seat in front so when they inevitably reclined they ended up with my knees in their back. They complained to the flight attendant who asked that i let then recline (which would have taken me being bent into uncomfortable positions), i said i can't as it hits my legs, they said they have a right, i said i can't exactly cut my legs off, and that was the end of it.

Sod it, they can be as an uncomfortable as they are making me. My knees wouldn't be in their back if they didn't recline...their choice.

If you stretch your legs out under the seat in front of you it wouldn't be a problem. You sound like an utter twat.

Guzzle? shock

People who recline their seats also guzzle their food now, do they? hmm

It's a turn of phrase for eating quickly. They did eat quickly. That's why they were ready to lower their seats before I'd even got to my coffee.

If your knees are digging into the seat in front, you should stretch your legs out not to do that. Very anti social otherwise and you can hardly complain at seats being reclined if you're going to do that without even trying to avoid it. If it were me, I'd just shove the pillow down at the small of my back and ignore you, especially if it was lights out and everyone sleeping time. BTW I'm tall too.

3 days ago I flew long haul with BA in economy in the back row.
7 days prior to that I was the row in front of back row.

Seats in back row reclined which was lovely because I had been up for 12 hours and was exhausted and wanted to relax. I get severe back ache sitting upright for long periods so happily reclined after my meal as it eases the pressure on my spine.

The seat in front reclined as soon as we took off and it didn't encroach on my space and then I adjusted the TV screen so it was at the right angle to watch with no problem.

Seat in front went up for meal but came back before mine was cleared away, not a problem as the trays not only opened out but slid forward towards me. Tray was attached to arms of seat in front, not to back of seat so when the seat moved my tray stayed still. I (maybe naively thought this was standard?)

I even went to the toilet twice without having to climb over seats.

I was in a really good mood on both flights (honeymoon) and nothing bothered me (apart from the hideous salad on the outbound flight with the worst dressing I have ever tasted)

Are some people just less tolerant of others on public transport because they are tired, grumpy and miserable? Maybe my flight was fine because I was over the top happy. Or maybe others are on older / newer planes which have less space and I got lucky?

I sympathize with taller or more robust flyers with less space, I think these seats are made for a more average size (prob female) frame for space. And shorthaul in an Easyjet or Ryanair is possibly the most uncomfortable thing in the world.

However, passive aggressive, stroppy passengers would get no sympathy from me at all, if the passenger behind me were to tell me I was causing them discomfort in a civil, polite manner I would certainly adjust myself for them in some way and look for a compromise! But this is because I am not an arsehole!

I used to live in California and did 2 or 3 long haul flights a year. My personal rule was if the person in front of me kept their seat upright the whole flight then so did I. If the person in front of me reclined their seat then I would recline mine but only if the person behind me had their's reclined. I was screwed if the front person reclined but the behind person didn't!

Yes I know what it means thanks Rebecca I just thought it was a very sneery and unpleasant choice of word to use, and besides, how on earth could you even see how they were eating? I can't see anything much of the people in front of me on a plane unless I crane my neck or stick my head between the seats and I doubt you could see much either.

Seriously, stop being so bloody judgey about people whose only crime is to want to be as comfortable as they can be in a seat they've paid a lot of money for that is DESIGNED to recline for the very purpose of passenger comfort. You are tying to paint a picture of these people as heinous anti-social pigs. The more you say the nastier you sound.

I'm not actually and I feel bad that it's come over that way to you.

I was once on an airline with reclining seats. The people in front of me reclined theirs, almost crushing the sick toddler on my lap. I had to recline mine.

Towards the end of the flight, the person behind me had a tantrum. She hadn't asked me to move my seat until the tantrum. In fact the first I knew of her discomfort was when she booted me in the back, my seat bolted upright, the sick toddler flew from my lap and crashed into the seat in front, cue me spending the remainder of the flight with sick toddler who had a bloodied nose and wanting to hurt the woman behind me.

She didn't apologise.

Don't ever kick the seats in front of you, no matter how annoying they are.

I assume the woman behind me didn't realise the toddler was there. She had her own seat but due to being ill was on my lap whimpering softly/sleeping.

Holy shit, LostMySanity, that's outrageous behaviour! Your poor child.

Lostmysanity that is awful!!!
If she had just taken 1 second to look or a moment to ask!!!!!
poor baby

Her husband had a right go at her. I couldn't speak to her, I was that annoyed.

Her only excuse was "How was I supposed to know she had a baby on her knee?"

So it would've been okay to kick me in the back if I didn't have a baby on my knee?

I don't look behind me or in front of me... how do people do this, without standing up and looking, what on earth can you see peering between seats from where you are sat?!

I'm flying longhaul later in the year and it's costing a fortune even in economy and I won't sit bolt upright for 11 hours because -

1. You have a choice to recline your seat too
2. I'm paying a lot for my seat
3. The airline have put in reclinable seats thereby expecting you at some point to recline and rest
4. It's painful

All this reclining will be done slowly and at the appropriate time (i.e. when meals are cleared away for everyone in my part of the plane). There still can't be anyone on here who would expect a passenger never to recline their seat even on an overnight with lights out... surely not....

' There still can't be anyone on here who would expect a passenger never to recline their seat even on an overnight with lights out... surely not....'

I do it on short-haul flights, too! And even on short-haul flights in the day! I know, I'm going to Hell .

I live in California, sometimes when I take short haul flights originating or finishing in the UK I may have been travelling as long as 22 hours. If I can get 20 minutes rest by reclining the seat I'm going to do it. You may be spending an hour or two flying to Paris or Amsterdam after a sleep in your own bed and breakfast at home, but there is a good chance I'm on my third flight at that point.

We reserved and paid for extra leg room seats. Our flight was delayed for 26 hours and the plane changed to a Portugese plane and crew. The plane did not have the extra leg room seats. We had a horrendous flight back with the people in front. The woman's head was in husbands lap. I asked politely if she could put the seat up a bit, she said 'it was not her problem'. My husband accidentally caught her hair. Her husband went mental. My Husband stayed in toilet until I sorted it with crew who move my husband to seat in first class. I spent the rest of the flight (from Cuba) pretending to be asleep to avoid the verbal abuse from the couple in front. I put my feet up on husbands now vacant seat. Verbal abuse continued at airport, at baggage reclaim. We did well to ignore. The abusive couple were English. Portuguese crew were marvellous. Only got about £150 compensation for plane change/delay.