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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Airlines, seats, passive aggression

311 replies

RebeccaWithTheGoodHair · 24/04/2017 14:12

I was on a long haul flight over the weekend, 2 lots of 7 hour flights with a 3 hour stopover in the middle - it was never going to be a pleasant journey.

The first bit was OK but on the 2nd flight the people in the row in front sat down and immediately put their chairs back. Not just a little tilt either. They were practically in our laps. Our dropdown trays were hardly usable and the screen was difficult to see.

Of course they were perfectly entitled to do it and I could have done the same. Except I didn't because it's so bloody horrible for the person behind.

I don't get why airlines put these type of seats in, even using the tilt doesn't make them relaxing in any way. All it does it make it slightly less uncomfortable for the person in that seat - but 100 times worse for the hapless person behind.

My AIBU is whether giving it an extra hard shove when trying to use my tray or pick up my bag is U or not?

And if you are someone who does drop your seat back like that then don't you realise how horrible it is for the person behind you?

OP posts:
Cubtrouble · 25/04/2017 18:02

I have flown dozens and dozens of times, maybe once I have had people who use my seat as a drum kit. Usually a firm but polite asking them to stop banging the seat means they do. I have flown with kids and without and don't find kids a problem. They cry because their ears hurt. It's not their fault and I remember it and hope others remember it about mine now.

I relcine my seat because it's there and I can and I prefer to sit in a reclined manner always not just on a plane. Recline your own if you don't like it. You aren't my problem. The same as I am not the problem of the person in front of me and my family. Just suck it up and get it done. Or pay more and upgrade. Or sit there seething for 13 hours? Life's too short

Janiston · 25/04/2017 18:18

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Message withdrawn at poster's request.

FrancisCrawford · 25/04/2017 18:20

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Janiston · 25/04/2017 18:23

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Roussette · 25/04/2017 18:43

But it's not really that is it? If you do a longhaul flight and you just know you won't sleep AT ALL unless you can recline your seat (my head always falls forward) and they dim the lights, and the seat has the facility of reclining... what the four and a half is wrong with reclining it?? If it was as anti social as people make it, the airlines would have upright seats!

I do it gently, I don't do it at anti social times (meals etc) but hells teeth, I'm not going to sit and suffer with no sleep because there might be someone behind who doesn't like it and refuses to recline theirs...

Purplealienpuke · 25/04/2017 18:47

I am disabled. I had a terrible flight back from Europe last year. A young girl (18ish) in front reclined her seat and I couldn't move. I couldn't get up to use the loo or stretch my legs. I asked her politely to sit up. She was arsey and aggressive. The stewardess got involved when she complained that I'd asked her to sit up! The stewardess told her not to be rude to her & to sit her seat up! Not great tbh.

FrancisCrawford · 25/04/2017 18:52

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

SoupDragon · 25/04/2017 18:56

I think if you're on a long flight you can tip your seat back, but the INSTANT food/drinks are served you should sit upright. I would ask someone to move their seat if they didn't do it automatically in those circumstances.

Even if they are asleep?

FrancisCrawford · 25/04/2017 19:00

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

GoLightlyHollie · 25/04/2017 19:23

On a night flight or overnight flight I always recline my seat fully but will return it to the upright position during meals. The exception is if something in front of me tilts their seat. I do the same despite knowing the torment it causes behind, otherwise I'll be completely squashed.

Travelling in economy is always shit so if you have a really big problem then maybe pay up to sit up front?

buttfacedmiscreant · 25/04/2017 19:53

I get nerve pain in my leg if I sit upright in a plane seat for long periods of time (e.g an hour or more). I usually tell the person behind me that and ask that if they get a drink or something to eat can they tell me and I'll put it up to make it easier. I take pain killers to help but it doesn't stop it altogether and it continues days after the flight. Reclining the seat and bringing an inflatable pillow to raise my feet helps a great deal.

Oh and no, you do not have to climb over seats when the one in front is reclined. I'm not slim or particularly young and I can do it just fine.

As for not being able to see the screen, most people have phones/tablets these days and frankly I'm not sure why your right to watch a movie trumps me being in pain.

buttfacedmiscreant · 25/04/2017 20:00

...now if you want to argue the "middle seat gets two armrests" 'rule'...

Cubtrouble · 25/04/2017 20:14

No Janiston. I didn't say I don't think of others. I used to be the person holding someone else's baby so they could eat, or switching seats for family to sit together. I don't walk around with my head up my own arse but I'm not going to sit bolt up right so the person behind me has more space. If my 3" recline is a problem for them they shouldn't fly economy. But if they need help slinging their bag in the over head locker I'll gladly help.

Minnie747 · 25/04/2017 20:17

It's a bit much to ask the crew to do this as a requirement. Their primary role is safety and as most airlines now cut crew compliments to the bare minimum there are hardly enough of them to serve you food and drinks, duty free, snacks etc, so time is at a premium.

Also could you imagine trying to wake many sleeping passenger in order ask them to put their seat upright for the meal service, whilst trying to serve the meal service? (Which could be to 450 people on a jumbo!)... it would take forever and then passengers would complain about the wait.

The seat has a recline function, there to be used in flight. Op YABU.

Also if you have special requirements due to medical reasons, many airlines will let you request a bulk head seat, with extra legroom, at no extra charge.

From an ex cabin crew who has seen this argument between passengers one too many times....

BlowMeDownWithAFeatherMissis · 25/04/2017 20:39

If you want to recline your seat just check it's ok with the person behind you or at least check you're not about to send their drink flying. I do get why people do it but it is massively rude to just behave as though it has no impact on anyone else!

cheval · 25/04/2017 21:27

This is why I don't go on aeroplanes. Until I'm rich and can fly first class...

BusyBeez99 · 25/04/2017 22:04

On a flight home today someone behind me kept rummaging around in the seat pocket. Felt like they were feeling up my backside. Grrrrrr selfish idiots

dysongirl · 26/04/2017 00:50

Absolute infuriating
Rude Bitch!
As you can see I'm still fuming from my flight to New York a month ago when the very same thing happened meAngry
Ahh well you live and learn I thinkWink

expatinscotland · 26/04/2017 08:50

'If you want to recline your seat just check it's ok with the person behind you or at least check you're not about to send their drink flying. '

I look to see if they have a drink or if they're leaning forward, but ask permission? They're not a headteacher in charge of the seat you paid to hire out for the duration of the flight.

loveka · 26/04/2017 09:32

No it doesn't cut both ways.

People who just recline as soon as they get on a plane are doing it so they get extra space. They are making someone else have less space so they can have more.

Someone said they didn't ask before reclining because they don't have to. That person, and people who think like that, is selfish. There are lots of things humans don't have to do but we do because it's polite.

The OP wasn't talking about people who recline when they are asleep on a night flight. She was talking about the selfish cunts who just automatically recline to get more space.

jarhead123 · 26/04/2017 09:33

I agree. You have to be a selfish person to use the recline I think!

Chinnygirl · 26/04/2017 09:45

I'm totally 😮 at this thread. I've flown long haul plenty of times (7-14 hour flights, preferably two in succesion) and everybody reclines their seats unless it's mealtime. I'm obese (bmi over 40) and I can still get out of the chair. Not short either. Are you guys flying shitty companies or something that they put the chairs to close together?

ShatnersWig · 26/04/2017 09:49

loveka Astonishing how someone who reclines their reclining seat is worthy of being called a selfish cunt. It's not about more space as much as it is about more comfort. If you're in economy, you know the seats can be crammed in and if you are tall, or have back conditions, it can be very uncomfortable and you may not have been able to book a seat with extra legroom. You may be on your third flight in succession.

SoupDragon · 26/04/2017 09:59

People who just recline as soon as they get on a plane are doing it so they get extra space. They are making someone else have less space so they can have more.

It must be wonderful to know why everyone does something. Are you a superhero?

Raggydolly3 · 26/04/2017 10:19

Am slight amused by the people posting who are saying "just upgrade to first class"

Like that's an option for everyone