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AIBU?

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Original poster

To wonder if ds is too young for an iPhone?

26 replies

SharkiraSharkira · 24/04/2017 12:37

Ds1 is 10. He has been wanting a phone for ages, mainly so he has something to play games on (despite the fact he has a tablet for that!) but so far j have resisted and said no because I don't think he needs one.

However, I am now thinking it may be a good idea because he will be going to secondary school next year and I'm hoping he will begin to be a bit more independent. But I would feel much more comfortable about him doing so if he had a phone so I could contact him/he could contact me if necessary.

I was thinking of getting him a cheap iPhone from cex or similar and just paying for a cheap SIM card for him to use, with the condition that it does not go with him to school. iPhone would be particularly useful I think because currently ds is not living with me and if we both have iPhones (I have an oldish one) we can FaceTime, iMessage etc more easily. Plus older iPhones are not expensive now and have lots of good features.

But I still wonder if he is too young at 10. Aibu to think 10 might be too young for something like this?

OP posts:
Original poster
SharkiraSharkira · 24/04/2017 15:33

Anyone?

OP posts:
Dogivemeabreak · 24/04/2017 15:38

Children are the right age for an iPhone when they can buy their own.

StillStayingClassySanDiego · 24/04/2017 15:40

I gave my ds's a phone when they started secondary school, if it makes keeping in touch with each other easier then go for it.

Huldra · 24/04/2017 15:45

Both mine got phones in year 6 for their birthday in preperation for secondary school. They used them for the camera, video, music and audio books on long car journeys, when they were left at home alone for an hour or so, or when they were out at friends houses, going to the local shop.

Most kids have a phone when starting secondary nd it seems perfectly sensible to introduce them to their first phone during the months before they start. If you both have apple then it makes sense for your child to have apple, we gave mine Android because we are Android for phones and tablets.

Smart phones are as cheap or expensive as you make them.

FataliePorkman · 24/04/2017 15:46

You say you think it's a good idea as he is going to secondary school- but he's not allowed to take it?? Not sure of the logic there OP.

It sounds like you have already had your arm twisted and you just want somebody to talk you out of it.

It depends how responsible he is- if he is quite a responsible lad for his age then why not.

But the "not taking it to school rule" is daft as I think we both know it will happen anyway

stuckinny · 24/04/2017 15:48

My DS (10) has an iPhone. He had a cheap pay as you go before but once it died his dad decided to get him the iPhone. It's taken to school (on the agreement it stays in his bag) because he splits his week between my house and his dad's. In addition, he goes to an after school program in a different location.
It's huge peace of mind for me. We were away last week and I was able to let him go down to the restaurant in the hotel without worrying about him.

TeaQuiero · 24/04/2017 15:50

Why does he need an iPhone and not one of the many cheaper Android handsets? They have WhatsApp too.

iPhones are for status, and for a child, makes them a target for a mugging.

Hulababy · 24/04/2017 15:51

We got Dd a phone for her 11th birthday in preparation for starting secondary, as did most parents of her friends.

Whether that was an iPhone or not varied - some had new iPhones, some parents old phones, some second hand. Pretty much all had some form of smartphone and those that didn't pretty quickly upgraded then in y7.

Dd had an iPhone as it was what worked best for us, as a family who use a lot of Apple products. What her friends had wasn't a concern for me.

likewhatevs · 24/04/2017 15:52

My DS has one. Only because my SIL gave it to him for his 10th birthday. Its currently confiscated. Which is besides the point.
I acutally don't think he has any need for it. He has a tablet.
The most useful thing I bought him was a watch phone from amazon. Cost about £15. It has a giffgaff payg sim in it. We can contact each other when he's at the park, and because its on his wrist, he notices it ringing. Its not set up for internet, so he can either call or text (although he hasn't realised he can text)
The iphone he leaves in his bag, so its pointless from a, well, phone point of view because he doesn't hear it anyway..

Huldra · 24/04/2017 15:55

I think the OP means that she won't allow the child to take the phone into school whilst they're still in Primary. Then next year when they're at Secondary they will be allowed.

specialsubject · 24/04/2017 16:14

Free access to infinite porn, horror films, gambling sites, amazon....

Yes. He's too young!

Mulberry72 · 24/04/2017 16:29

My DS is 10 and we allowed him to buy a cheap Android phone out of his Christmas money. He's just started walking to and from school so he rings me when he gets to school and then as he's leaving.

He has to hand his phone in to his teacher in the morning and then he collects it at home time.

He's beginning to have a little more freedom now so knowing I can contact him and he me is reassuring for both of us.

MirandaWest · 24/04/2017 16:35

DD got an iPhone 4s when she was 10. Had a cheap PAYG sim from EE. She's 11 now (in year 6) and has an iPhone 5s. Still has the same cheap PAYG sim. (£1 a week). World doesn't seem to have ended for her having an iPhone.

WhooooAmI24601 · 24/04/2017 16:39

DS1 (11) has my old iPhone. I'm due another upgrade in June so he'll have my current one (6s+) but I wouldn't ever buy him one.

Most gadgets in our house are Apple, so our phones all are, too. It makes sense to keep to that. He takes it to school so he can text me when he arrives but evenings/weekends tends to leave it on the kitchen windowsill because he's not reached the age where he's superglued to it yet.

ittakes2 · 24/04/2017 16:48

I'm getting my children cheap iphone's for their 11th birthday.

SoapyTitWank · 24/04/2017 16:53

My 10 yr old has an old iPhone of mine. I've got it on my EE plan so I control how he can use it so not access to internet if away from home wifi (home wifi has parental controls). It means he doesn't nick my phone all the time to play games and he can call me from the park etc, it was v useful when skiing this year when he was worried his ski school might lose him Grin
To be honest he doesn't use it that much and it doesn't cost that much but has it's useful moments.

ItsOut · 24/04/2017 16:55

Free access to infinite porn, horror films, gambling sites, amazon

This isn't true. iPhone have decent parental controls. They only don't work when parents can't be bothered setting them up.

Original poster
SharkiraSharkira · 24/04/2017 17:21

Ah, yes I see what you mean, to clarify I did mean no taking to school while still in primary but then yes to taking it to school in secondary! Grin

So it seems 10/11 is an ok age? I would put parental controls etc on although he is quite sensible (at the moment). I would probably get an iPhone 4/5 and have some sort of sim only thing.

OP posts:
Huldra · 24/04/2017 17:27

Look at parental controls on phone and network, don't get them enough monthly data to download a horror movie or watch porn, put parental controls on your wifi at home.

Hulababy · 24/04/2017 17:31

Free access to infinite porn, horror films, gambling sites, amazon....

Well, that would be same with ANY smartphone, and ANY laptop or tablet.

iPhones do have fairly good parental controls, better than many of the alternatives too.
You can restrict apps, books, websites, TV and films, by age ratings, etc.
You can also turn off various apps and features so they don't show at all on the phone should parents wish too.
You can prevent in app purchases, and indeed the ability to add any apps at all.
You can set up child iTunes accounts, linked to your own which offers additional protection too.

If you already have an iPhone then I can understand why you would think of going down the iPhone for him too route - it was a big reason for us too. Meant that iMessaging and FaceTime, etc were easy to both use, and only had to have one account for music, apps, etc. via iTunes - so no need to pay twice if on same platform.

MissWimpyDimple · 24/04/2017 22:48

DD is 10 and she has my mums old iPhone. It's a 5c.

I'm happy with her having an iPhone as I have her using the same Apple ID as me and it means I have control over her downloads. She doesn't know the password.

Plus we have imessage and I also have it set to send any photos on her phone to me. So I know what she's been sent/sending.

Not saying this can't be done with other phones but I have an iPhone so this works for us.

She doesn't take it out much but she takes it to her dads as she feels more secure being able to text with me when she is missing me.

KindDogsTail · 24/04/2017 22:59

Think very carefully about what he will be getting with it. Children are exposed to far more than they can deal with through these of you aren't careful.

In the Times last weekend there an article about a book by Ian Williamson: Raising Teenagers. It mentioned there is advice about the sorts of rules that need to go with letting a child have one.

Middleoftheroad · 24/04/2017 23:14

mine are in yr 6. They ocassionally use an old Samsung but I expect them to lose or break phones so would not get an iphone yet and they are 11

curvyfrog · 25/04/2017 00:40

Yes, yes, yes. iPhones are super.
Our whole family are linked together. We all know where the other is (find friends), we all know what the others are doing (synced calendars), can call, iMessage, FaceTime and share photos and moments. The ones with fingerprint access are very secure. The older children do their banking and have their wallet as an app on the phone too.

Our children are 10,12,14,16.
Maybe insure the phone if you are concerned.

curvyfrog · 25/04/2017 00:43

Posted too soon. Parental controls on family settings? Let's you control internet access and times etc.

Our rule is that if the want the iPhone then we as parents can have complete access to it. It is a privilege. It's also a great lever.

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