To think SIL was out of order

[Raggydolly3]

Had issues with SIL ever since I met my DH, she ran out sobbing when we got engaged, plus loads and loads of other stuff. She is a single mum and her son is 8 and she can't be left out of anything,

MIL and FIL won't do anything with DH, DS and I without asking them and it has even got to the stage where we have to not tell SIL and nephew if we do anything with inlaws when nephew is a school or she will kick off and say it's not fair on nephew as he is at school!!!! (Inlaws asked us to not tell her)
DS had been invited to a party from his pre school, the pre school is attached to the school he will go to so trying to get to know mums and dads and make a good impression.
The party was today but DH and I where at a party tonight and we have to travel to get there so MIL very kindly offered to take over from me and DH half way through the party so we could get going, they are then having DS over night. I ring party mum beforehand to and if that is ok and yes no problem at all.
So literary 15 minutes into the party who comes throught the door but MIL, SIL and Nephew.

Party mum looks bemused at all these people turning up so I go and tell her through gritted teeth who they all are, she pats me on the shoulder and says "familys eh can't live with em can't kill em". She was really lovely and goes straight up to nephew and asked him to join in. Nephew says "no it is a baby party"
I know SIL will cause a scene if we say anything to her so I say to DH (who is also mad but like me knows she will make a scene if challenged) lets go as it is ridiculous having 4 adults and and older child to look after DS and it just looks like we are treating it as a family outing.

The looks we got from other parents as well- Not good
So I guess AIBU to think that SIL turning up with nephew was really bad manners and something you just don't do.

DH wants to have it out with her but that will just cause so much crap and FIL is not well at the moment but that won't stop her.
I have just said for the sake of peace we will just never ask MIL to take over at a party again (hopefully will never have to) and we need to be very careful when DS starts school to make it clear that if MIL and FIL are invited to thinks it does not mean that SIL and nephew can come as well.

note there is absolutely nothing wrong with either being a Lone Parent or adopting as one but again, there are many on MN who are not^ Lone Parents by choice and still manage to get on with it.

Leave the buggers to it, op. You've done your best but it sounds like not seeing them would be a good result.

Although it is a damned shame for your nephew

Totally agree with BackforGood "MiL has to understand she's not doing SiL any favours by pretending it's OK."

SIL is not entitled to monopolize her parents just because she is a single parent. That is mad.

was a bit overdramatic building it into some ultimatum

What asking for an apology?

Hardly dramatic

Hi. Been lurking and I just want to say that if you want to go low or no contact with DSIS then a catalytic event like this - plus the 'bitch' comment - is exactly the best time to do it. I have been trying to go LC with my mother and if you can't tie it to a recent memorable incident, then it's all too easy for it to slide back into " you're exaggerating/ being over dramatic/ let's forget it". And you're back to square one.

Excellent that DH is so supportive - and not a wuss !

No she adopted as a single parent.

I have just had a text message from SIL saying "I hope you are satisfied now" of course it's all my fault
I have ignored it and blocked her number.
Thankyou for all the advice mumnetters, you have been fab as usual x

Your sil sounds batshit crazy. Im a single/lone parent and i dont see it as my right to tag along to things because i am on my own with ds. Thats just rude and massively entitled she needs to realise she cant do this