to ask if you would leave your partner over this?

[hollyvsivy]

If he had children from a previous relationship that he didn't see and didn't pursue a relationship with and your gut told you that if you separated then he wouldn't see your children together either. Would you end it sooner rather than later?

God he sounds horrible op.

It's been 4 years since my children saw their father. I would jump at the chance for sibling contact for them.

I don't agree at all about it being more damaging for them to see their siblings. At the moment they are being rejected by all of you, there is nothing more damage.

I live with this every day and whilst it may not be at the forefront of our lives anymore it most certainly has a sustained impact on the children. So again I would urge you to give more thought to sibling contact

Yes, massive red flag on emotional detachment. You'll be next

I would be happy to be with a man who didn't see his children for whatever reason. Probably because I don't want any of my own so it wouldn't be a case of it happening to me. It would be none of my business.

In your circumstances I'd seriously consider it. Stressful is not an excuse to cut out your children from your life.

I'd also encourage/facilitate sibling contact if your children and his older children want it. My DDs have an older sibling whose mother facilitated contact between them and my girls are incredibly grateful for it. They now have a really decent relationship with their sibling (they mostly organise it themselves now that they are all teens).

I only know of one father who "chooses" not to see their children that I think "Yeah, that's not what I'd do, but I get his decision". Anyone else I can't help, but judge tbh.

I'd love for them to have sibling contact but he wouldn't agree so by approaching his ex I'd basically be saying we're over anyway.

Really? I don't understand why he would try to stop his children from getting to know one another. He doesn't have to see his ex and isn't affected by your seeing her.

How does all of this make you feel?

Does he suffer from mental health problems? Or do you think he has a personality disorder?

Because if they see one another, our DC will talk about it and people will realise he's been dishonest about being prevented from seeing them.

. Who is he lying to? You're not painting a good picture.

Everyone he works with, his parents, his friends, his siblings - obviously he isn't going to admit he's choosing not to see them. His parents have chosen not to seek contact either.

He sounds absolutely pathetic and I would struggle to have any respect for someone like that. Shame on him, he created two children and just wrote them off like randoms. Ugh. How does he even look at his own children with you, without you thinking what a fraud he is.

Holly..have you explained to him how this makes you feel about him ?