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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Smoking outside cafés?

496 replies

PuntCuffin · 23/04/2017 19:37

Took my boys out to a local country park this morning. Decided we would have lunch while we were there so got ourselves settled at an outside table at the park café. We had our dog with us (as did many other families) so could not have gone inside.

Halfway through our meal, another family sat at the neighbouring table and both adults proceeded to light up cigarettes. So, we ended up with smoke wafting across us. Both boys stopped eating pretty much immediately, and started saying they felt sick. (Yes, they are probably hypersensitive but, it was pretty grim.) I gave up on trying to convince them to finish their lunch and we left the area, as did another family who hadn't finished their meals either.

There were no ashtrays on the tables, so the café clearly don't endorse smoking there.

AIBU to think this is a) Fucking inconsiderate behaviour and b) to be amazed that it is legal to smoke round an area where people are eating, even if it is outside.

OP posts:
supermoon100 · 23/04/2017 20:25

Unborn - how about selfish idiots- do you find that less offensive 😉

Trifleorbust · 23/04/2017 20:26

Doilooklikeatourist:

Smoking outside is perfectly legal.

Iloverichtea · 23/04/2017 20:26

OP I am 100% with you - YANBU. I am all for any proposed future law that will ban smoking in public places altogether. I find it revolting when I have to eat around anybody smoking, whether indoors or outdoors, and hate it when they light up around my young son.

PPs who say they have been "chased" out of restaurants, pubs and the like, asking where they should go - I don't mind as long as I don't have to breathe in the foul smoke. It annoys me when people say "oh, drinking will be banned next", because I'm not forced to passively drink alcohol if people around me choose to drink it!

usernumbernine · 23/04/2017 20:27

Outside, unless specifically signed as non-smoking, is all an area where smoking is permitted by law.

UnbornMortificado · 23/04/2017 20:27

Yeah because offensive MH terms like that are such a fucking joke.

I'd rather sit next to some "selfish idiot" then an ignorant twat who spouts shit like that.

StillStayingClassySanDiego · 23/04/2017 20:28

Stop defending your right to smoke

It's not illegal is it.

cricketballs · 23/04/2017 20:29

Save the NHS some money do you realise the amount of money that smokers contribute to the NHS is £12 billion whilst it's estimated that the cost to the NHS is £3-£6 billion

PencilsInSpace · 23/04/2017 20:30

Ah you know it's properly spring when the outdoor smoking threads start Grin

You're allowed to shoot them these days, I believe.

JaneEyre70 · 23/04/2017 20:30

YANBU. I think smoking should be banned in public places whether they are indoors or outdoors. Smoking near people who are eating is just plain rude and ignorant. We visited a really nice local farm park the other day with our grandkids and there were signs everywhere saying no smoking or vaping in the park please. Sat down to eat our food, got everything out, sorted kids and some ignorant pig of a man came and sat right by us and was blowing his vape smoke all over us. It had a really horrible sweet sickly smell. I did point out a sign to him, to which he shrugged his shoulders. We ended up packing it all up again and moving. I could have shoved his e-cig up his arse frankly.

Original poster
PuntCuffin · 23/04/2017 20:31

usernumbernine who should have taken the dog to the car? It was a good 5 minute walk away, and I was the only adult. When we did return to the car, it was way too hot to have left a dog in it.

notstopped their words, not mine. I already said they were probably being hypersensitive. But, none, genuinely none, of our friends or family smoke, so they really aren't exposed to it. I am not going to be encouraging them to not be bothered by cigarette smoke. I probably should have said something to the smokers, but I was on my own and I don't like confrontation.

OP posts:
cloudchasing · 23/04/2017 20:32

Maybe the other al fresco diners don't like dogs?

cloudchasing · 23/04/2017 20:33

I know that sounds like a ridiculously childish retort, btw. But you know, live and let live.

EllieMentry · 23/04/2017 20:33

I'm an ex (heavy) smoker.

I don't feel I have the right to get too uppity about smoking as I imposed it on others back in the day, to my shame. But until I stopped, I didn't realise how much it stinks.

It's horrible, and really foul to impose it on people in eating areas, legal or not. Especially in this instance when there was a place to smoke close by outside the designated eating area.

So I'd say YANBU.

BillyButtfuck · 23/04/2017 20:33

YADNBU it's vile and no one should be able to take away your choice not to smoke by forcing you to breathe in second hand smoke

saturdaysaturday · 23/04/2017 20:33

YANBU.

Stupid people shouldn't force their stupid on you and ruin your lunch.

supermoon100 · 23/04/2017 20:34

Unborn - you sound like you need a fag!

usernumbernine · 23/04/2017 20:34

You should have thought of that. The smokers were breaking no laws and your kids were being over dramatic saying they were going to be sick and you encouraged them.

Maybe the other diners didn't want to sit next to a dog?

NoBetterName · 23/04/2017 20:35

You can't legislate for everything that someone finds offensive.

You didn't like the smokers next to you, so let's been smoking outside. On the other hand, there may be a child at a table nearby with a severe phobia of dogs, so let's been dogs outside cafes too.... and so the list could go on. Live and let live and if we're all a little more tolerant of the fact that others do things we don't live but they don't see anything wrong with, the world would be a much happier place.

(I say this as a non-smoking multiple dog owner).

harderandharder2breathe · 23/04/2017 20:35

But OP you chose to take the dog on your day out. You chose to eat somewhere the dog wasn't allowed inside.

Other people choose to smoke and aren't allowed to do so inside.

You have to share the space. Neither of you is in the wrong for the choices you make, but you are wrong to suggest your choice trumps their choice

NoBetterName · 23/04/2017 20:36

*been=ban!

Original poster
PuntCuffin · 23/04/2017 20:36

cloud there were 6 tables (approx.). All of them were occupied and all had dogs except the smokers. It's that kind of place, lots and lots of young families with dogs. The café staff were actually walking round with bowls and water for the dogs.

OP posts:
saturdaysaturday · 23/04/2017 20:36

Harder

Is your username because you smoke?

Trifleorbust · 23/04/2017 20:36

What would you have said, OP?

If I was smoking outside in a perfectly legal space I would suggest you went indoors.

Batghee · 23/04/2017 20:37

ive never smoked in my entire life and i find it completely fine eating outside when others are smoking. The smoking laws mean that the space has to be open ie no more than two walls or something like that, if it is allowed for smoking..... so i really dont see what the prob is? Its outside space in the open air!!
You have far more to be worried about from car fumes imo

Itsnotwhatitseems · 23/04/2017 20:40

I remember visiting a zoo with my adult smoker son, we were aware of lots of children around us so searched for a place away from them to light up, however, as soon as we did a large flurry of kids appeared so we extinguished and moved on. Not all smokers are selfish.