Smoking outside cafés?

[PuntCuffin]

Took my boys out to a local country park this morning. Decided we would have lunch while we were there so got ourselves settled at an outside table at the park café. We had our dog with us (as did many other families) so could not have gone inside.

Halfway through our meal, another family sat at the neighbouring table and both adults proceeded to light up cigarettes. So, we ended up with smoke wafting across us. Both boys stopped eating pretty much immediately, and started saying they felt sick. (Yes, they are probably hypersensitive but, it was pretty grim.) I gave up on trying to convince them to finish their lunch and we left the area, as did another family who hadn't finished their meals either.

There were no ashtrays on the tables, so the café clearly don't endorse smoking there.

AIBU to think this is a) Fucking inconsiderate behaviour and b) to be amazed that it is legal to smoke round an area where people are eating, even if it is outside.

I have dogs and I smoke Lilac. I enjoy the mix of fresh air and fag.

I have dogs and I smoke Lilac. I enjoy the mix of fresh air and fag.

That could be dog abuse and is certainly unkind to trees

Seriously though, how do smokers afford the habit?

Just ask to swap so you're not downwind?

When I smoked I used to go right out of the way tbh, I'd even go to the lengths of asking people if they minded me lighting up even if we were sat at tables with ashtrays when it was clear they were non smokers.

I vape now, much less rank and I feel more socially accepted 😂

On a colder day, she would have been put in the car while we sat inside.

Well, aren't you the charming bunch.

I hate vape stench too I'm afraid. It's not on. Stinky disgusting habit. Someone said alcohol and cigarettes are legal and it's personal choice. Exactly... I don't want you to breathe vape or smoke over me or my kids.

I'm still confused why people smoke anyway. Stressed? Do some exercise.... bored? Take up knitting... cancer and strokes won't get me? Well you need to go away and read some papers on the danger of smoking.

Oh FFS Trifle, does it have to be spelled out? There are days when it is perfectly acceptable to leave a dog in a car and it will neither freeze nor cook. Cooler, cloudy days, we have lots of them. In the UK, you would have to leave the car for a very long time for there to be even a remote risk of hypothermia even in the depths of winter, which this isn't. Not only that, there is a blanket in the car to keep her warm and comfortable. Whereas, yesterday, it was 20C here, if I had put her in the car while we ate, I could justifiably be accused of cruelty. What, in that scenario, deserves your sarcasm?

PuntCuffinL:

What may have to be spelled out (to you!) is that I think you sound like everything is about you: you can't go inside because you want to take the dog, the smokers need to move for you, the dog can stay in the car etc. Personally I wouldn't leave my dog in a tiny enclosed space for that length of time.

Seems like some posters are using the dog as a diversion tactic to get around the actual topic... smoking in public!

PhyllisNights:

Not at all. The OP is moaning about people smoking in public (which they are legally allowed to do) because she 'needs' to be outside because of her dog. It is entirely her choice to have a dog and it isn't up to anyone else to accommodate her more than they usually would. But there are lots of pubs and cafes where you can take a dog inside. The OP seems to want to leave her dog in the car on cold days so she can sit indoors, them smokers to go away on hot days so she can sit outside. Sod the smokers' rights and sod the dog - they can all bend around her, because it's all about her.

The smokers need to be aware of children and pregnant women! They also need to think about the fact that people are eating food. It's a café, not a pub garden.

PhyllisNights:

Sorry but no they don't.

When I smoked I used to go right out of the way tbh, I'd even go to the lengths of asking people if they minded me lighting up even if we were sat at tables with ashtrays when it was clear they were non smokers.

I do this. DH regularly takes the piss out of me for it but I would rather be polite

I also ask people I have seen smoking minutes beforehand if they mind me having one if their food has arrived since they had their ciggie. I have a thing about smoking when people are eating.

I would move immediately if a pregnant woman or a child came near me too.

Thought most were like this. Possibly the family had more on their minds and were lost in their own little world or something. I would say though, if it bothers people, speak up. People do not know there is a problem otherwise...

The key point here Phyllis and Puntcuffin is that it's not up to you. Smokers have rights too, although I can see that drives you crazy.

The smokers aren't breaking any laws. The cafe is perfectly entitled to ban smoking in the area, but they choose not to do so. Their choice, not yours. So you'll just have to suck it up. The horror!

By the way, taking your slobbering dogs into a cafe where others are eating is grim. People in glass houses and all that...

Is there something wrong with me when I say I'm looking forward to the annual debate about Trick or Treat? It's a lot cheaper than buying a printed Calender.

Thank you Phyllis. I agree that the dog is being used as a diversion.

My OP was about one specific café, the set up and scenario on this one occasion. I do not believe the world revolves around me. If I did, surely I would have confronted the smokers rather than abandon half eaten meals, as did another family?

On a cooler day, other options would be available to prevent what happened yesterday. It was impromptu, we did not originally plan to eat out, so already had the dog with us. So, yes, on this occasion, we did need to be outside. We were eating, so we did need to be at the café. On another occasion, with another set of circumstances, a different scenario would arise, and I would still be blissfully unaware that smoking was still allowed in areas where food is served. Now I know that, I will plan accordingly.

The smokers were not eating, they did not need to be there, there are many, many other benches and tables surrounding the area. I honestly cannot see how I am the selfish one here.

Whizbang - I did NOT take my 'slobbering dog' into the café. At no point have I ever said that I did. She remained outside the entire time.

You still don't get to make the rules Punt, so you might want to calm yourself

I honestly cannot see how I am the selfish one here.

It isn't selfishness. It is entitlement. You changed your plans so now the world needs to shift round you. Doesn't work like that.

Addiction tends to make people selfish OP and blind to such selfishness.
My own sister used to smoke in the car when I was a small child (4ish) and in the back of it and also when she took our very asthmatic mum out. It was her right to and she was blind to any other points of view. Her car, her right. Now she no longer smokes I'm sure she would be horrified she did that. She would never smoke on the car with her children in it.
I'm not saying all smokers would do this but people like to exercise their right to do x,y and z.
My step father liked to exercise his right to get blinding drunk and abuse his body wth alcohol, try telling him it turns him into a useless father and a liability to his family. His body, his right. (Of course again it is)
My point is sometimes peoples rights affect other peoples rights.
To fresh air, to a safe home etc.
Hides thread

Some smokers act like they're entitled. They are exhaling out a tobacco that has been in their lungs and gone through their mouth. They do it in front of pregnant women, children & people who are eating. That is not ok.

My own sister used to smoke in the car when I was a small child (4ish) and in the back of it and also when she took our very asthmatic mum out. It was her right to and she was blind to any other points of view. Her car, her right.

I have smoked since I was 14. Always classed myself as a 'considerate smoker' even before laws and such came in about it. If there was a non-smoker at our table I would move away, would never light up in other peoples houses even if they said it was ok. that kind of thing.

The worst thing I have ever seen is DHs ex. There was a bit of a situation where her house was unlivable so she lived with us for a year or so (yes, a lot of people find this setup weird, but we got on and it was mostly for the kids so...meh). She smoked throughout pregnancy as a lot of people do. However...her baby was very premature. He was tiny and in the special dependance unit for 2 weeks. I still think he was let out before he should have been but thats besides the point. The day he was let out, I finished work and went home to find her sat in our living room..with the tiny baby drinking a bottle on her knee...with a ciggie in the other hand. Singing to him whilst smoking so quite literally blowing the smoke all over him without a second thought

Not sure what this has to do with the thread like, just your little story reminded me of that and how shocked I was. I think that was the only time I have 'told off' another adult...and I wondered for years if I was in the wrong to do that, but from that day she went outside for ciggies so it did some good at least.

PhyllisNights:

It is acceptable because they are entitled (to do it).

Lime19 - really?!

It's an addiction, reading about it won't make a blind bit of difference. If you want to stop you'll stop. If you want to vape you'll vape.

If it was that easy don't you think everyone would do it ffs?

blows out a hearty vape in Lime19's direction

I am perfectly calm, thank you. Went for a 4 hour walk with my slobbering dog and snowflake kids today, took a picnic with us. Didn't meet a single smoker out in the sticks. Their poor polluted lungs tend not to allow them to get that far.

Entitled would have been if they had been there smoking first and I had demanded that they stop. Instead, we were the ones who left them to it.