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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

The war is on! Fucking fuming!

60 replies

ChrisYoungFuckingRocks · 23/04/2017 18:45

We live in a complex where all the flats surround a park area where all the kids play after school. DTD2 (8) came in this afternoon with a bleeding cut on her neck and one shoe missing. Apparently the Y6 boys had thrown her shoe in a big black bin, one boy had thrown a stick at her (hence the cut), and hit her really hard on the chest. She was in pain. Last year this boy had kicked her in the crotch. In summer they think it's hilarious throwing acorns at the girls.

I marched over to the boy's house and spoke to his dad. He was OK and apologised, but then the mum (first time I've ever seen her), marched up to me, said her DS said my DD had been chasing the boys around, and it's my DDs own fault for chasing older boys, and that she should've have done it, and then slams the door in my face so hard the frame actually rattled.

So now it's my DDs fault that an older boy threw a stick at her and hit her, and thinks it's perfectly OK to kick younger girls??? Because she was running around in the park with this boy's sister and just having fun?

AIBU to be fuming and any ideas on retaliation would be appreciated?

OP posts:
NervousNellie29 · 23/04/2017 18:52

Sounds like someone who just doesn't want to take responsibility for how they parent, and thinks the sun shines out her kids arse Angry

Sorry for your DD Sad

Not okay at all that a group of boys finds it acceptable to gang up on a young girl.

Willyoujustbequiet · 23/04/2017 18:54

Yr 6. Technically over the age of criminal responsibility. You could report him. That will soon make his mother take notice.

ChasedByBees · 23/04/2017 18:54

How old is Y6? Criminally responsible yet? If so, I'd call the police. It was assault.

Willyoujustbequiet · 23/04/2017 18:55

Its 10 in England.

Rhayader · 23/04/2017 18:56

Call the police.

OnGoldenPond · 23/04/2017 19:05

Definitely police. She has been assaulted and is bleeding, and its not the first time.

That apple didn't fall far from the tree Angry

Original poster
ChrisYoungFuckingRocks · 23/04/2017 19:12

I just spoke to my DTD's and they say they're not sure how old this particular boy is. He does hang around with the older boys, and his mom said DD should't be chasing the older boys, so I assume he's older than them.

OP posts:
pictish · 23/04/2017 19:12

I'd be hopping mad as well.

Whatthefudger · 23/04/2017 19:15

I wouldn't bother with the police. Ime they'll do fuck all.

Nasty little shit

MycatsaPirate · 23/04/2017 19:18

When I was 15 I intercepted a fight between two boys, one who was 12 and the other 14. The 14 year old was considerably bigger and stronger than the younger boy and was kicking the shit out of him. I pulled him off and stood between them. The 14 year old then kicked me so hard between the legs I had a haematoma (sp) which required a 10 day stay in hospital. The police were involved, I had CID come and interview me. The didn't take any action against him but the boy in question got 'peer justice' at his school from the friends of the 12 year old.

Kicking anyone between the legs is brutal and can be seriously dangerous. Never mind throwing sticks, acorns at people and throwing their belongings in a bin!

Maybe a call to the police to ask if a community officer can patrol at set times to keep an eye on things. Not fair on your dc if they can't play out for fear of being attacked by a bunch of idiots.

Freddystarshamster · 23/04/2017 19:19

Of course they'll do fuck all. It's a minor incident involving an 8 year old and possibly a 10 year old. OP tried to do the right thing in speaking to the parents. Unfortunately one of them is a prick

mathanxiety · 23/04/2017 19:19

I would report this. I would also take her to the GP to have her injury recorded.

WinBigly · 23/04/2017 19:20

What does DTD mean?

mathanxiety · 23/04/2017 19:21

Dear/darling twin daughter.

Also Doing The Deed, but you can judge from context..

iloveredwine · 23/04/2017 19:22

I would report this and make dd tell me every time she has issues so I could go to the door and shout back at the cow. How dare she blame the victim.

Bringmesunshite · 23/04/2017 19:23

Tell community police and say you expect them to be more visible.
As if a girl's "behaviour " excuses violence against them. We know where this stupid attitude leads.

Sybil59 · 23/04/2017 19:23

Disgusting. I wonder what kind of a man he'll grow up to be?
Does he attend same school as your daughter? If he does I would report it to the head that she has been assaulted twice by this boy.

Original poster
ChrisYoungFuckingRocks · 23/04/2017 19:27

I asked DD if he hit her to be funny, or if he meant to hurt her. She said he meant to hurt her. I've just asked the neighbours, and apparently he's around 7. The boy who kicked her in the crotch last year is one of the Y6 boys. There are so many kids around here I get confused lol.

They're a bit of an 'odd' family, but still shouldn't be allowed to get away with this. I've told DD to stay away from the boys. She's a bit of a tomboy however, and we'll have to see how long this will last.

OP posts:
WinBigly · 23/04/2017 19:28

Thanks math I couldn't work out the 'T' for the life of me!

I'd get the community police involved like other posters have suggested. I think it's important to report what he's done so that it's recorded and will flag up if he's reported again in the future.

Whereismumhiding2 · 23/04/2017 19:30

If parent (shouty mum) didn't give you areasurances it'd be dealt with, then report to police. You have their address and his name. Bet he's known! Report the theft of shoe and assault. Let police give him a warning as mother didn't listen to yours. Child is old enough to get spoken to, even if it goes nowhere and it'll be a warning to him. Enough reports to police of juvenile delinquency will wing it's way to Children services... I don't doubt with that type of behaviour towards younger children he'll be up in front of judge for other stuff (usually criminal damage first off) anyway... Leave it to the state...

Whereismumhiding2 · 23/04/2017 19:31

Hope your DTD is ok x Give her big hugs and tell her to run away if she sees him again xxx

Screwinthetuna · 23/04/2017 19:31

Sounds like a foul family. If there is a community police officer that walks around, you could try and get hold of them and ask their advice.

CandleWithHair · 23/04/2017 19:33

When you say you 'marched round' do you mean you confronted the parents angrily? Understandable that you were angry on behalf of your daughter but going straight into attack mode is only ever going to put the other parent on the defensive in my view.
Not condoning the mothers justification, she's clearly a dick.

Bringmesunshite · 23/04/2017 19:33

In what I hope is the unlikely event the police do nothing, tell the school. This is not normal behaviour for a Y6 boy.

Whereismumhiding2 · 23/04/2017 19:35

Take your daughter to GP tomorrow after school, or A&E tonight if bad, to get her injuries recorded and report to police straight away . Do take (date & time) photos of injuries too. (Don't leave it up to police to take photos, as even in DV they are notoriously bad at collecting photographic evidence).