The war is on! Fucking fuming!

[ChrisYoungFuckingRocks]

We live in a complex where all the flats surround a park area where all the kids play after school. DTD2 (8) came in this afternoon with a bleeding cut on her neck and one shoe missing. Apparently the Y6 boys had thrown her shoe in a big black bin, one boy had thrown a stick at her (hence the cut), and hit her really hard on the chest. She was in pain. Last year this boy had kicked her in the crotch. In summer they think it's hilarious throwing acorns at the girls.

I marched over to the boy's house and spoke to his dad. He was OK and apologised, but then the mum (first time I've ever seen her), marched up to me, said her DS said my DD had been chasing the boys around, and it's my DDs own fault for chasing older boys, and that she should've have done it, and then slams the door in my face so hard the frame actually rattled.

So now it's my DDs fault that an older boy threw a stick at her and hit her, and thinks it's perfectly OK to kick younger girls??? Because she was running around in the park with this boy's sister and just having fun?

AIBU to be fuming and any ideas on retaliation would be appreciated?

He's around 7. There's nothing the police could/should do

Report it to the Police. It is an assault. If everyone took the view of not reporting, this child will never get in the system which is what is needed here.

Two years back I intervened when my two gs's went to the shop and were assaulted by two older boys on the way back. My youngest (6) would not give up his money so they both spat in his face. He came home with spittle running down his face and I saw red. I looked outside and they were stood there laughing. I went out after them determined to find where they lived. I was called a c* and they circled me on their bikes spitting on my feet. I told them I was not going anywhere and I would find out where they lived.

One decided he had had enough and dashed off home but telling me his aunt would be round to smash my head in. Lovely. I said that's fine, I would be waiting for her with the Police. The other threw his bike down grabbed me by the shoulders and pushed me backwards onto the road. Cars began stopping and people got out. He escaped.

My dd rang the police and they did come out to take a statement. The officer said it would be hard to locate them. I said there was a Community Drop in Centre and a PCSO who should have a good idea as I gave a good description. I was right and the PC rang me to say they knew who they were. He said they had no previous. I told him I didn't believe him. I emailed Police headquarters to make sure he dealt with it. He was very pissed off I had done so and lo and behold they could not have an informal warning, they already had several. He got a youth caution. His mother sent her apologies and said she could no longer handle him.

This is the second time your dd has been hurt. It is up to you at the end of the day and maybe you think it will make things worse. My own dd told me not to take it further, but rightly or wrongly, I knew it was the right thing to do.

I have seen him since and he covers his face when he sees me. Oh I forgot, they both told me I could do nothing because they were only nine. They were twelve.

He's over 10, then. Mum was rude. Call the police!

OP says he's 7

"I've told DD to stay away from the boys. She's a bit of a tomboy however, and we'll have to see how long this will last."

Um... I'm the first to say parents can't control their kids at all times but it's your job to keep her safe. If he's that much of a scumbag than you're not doing your job to just shrug & say you can't keep them apart. Why aren't you out on the park bench wrapped up warm, while the kids are playing, to keep an eye on things?

Escalating this situation to a "war" is not going to make anything better imho.

Go to the police.

Even if he isn't of the age of criminal repsonisbility yet. They stole her clothes (a shoe), made her bleed and have kicked her in her most intimate place before.

This is absolutely disgusting!

He's Y6. He's at least 10. Criminal age of responsibility.
V impressed with the pp who stood up to similar.

Araldite their tyres to the road.

I know it won't be a popular view, but having re read that the attacking boy is 7, after you've reported to police, then report to children services.

A boy hurting another child that badly so young, has learnt it from somewhere. Ask them to keep your details anonymous and they will respect that. But I'd bet money on that child having a shitty home life. If he has special needs then parents would be supervising him (or failing to..), but i don't know any 7 year olds that randomly violent without a reason. A normal parent would be mortified if any of their children hurt another, unless it is 'normal behaviour' in their household.

CSD will do their own enquiries , starting with his school. Even if it just adds to local intelligence on that family.

I'd be at the play area. Preferably with my dh and or six foot four tattooed up and scary looking brother in law (actually as soft as shite and scared of most things)

Where Why wouldn't it be popular?

I think that's definitely needed. The mother won't even take responsibility. And it wasn't the first time...

I think the OP has to protect her daughter. Just never letting her out is impossible and would be imo also harmful for her DD.

Bringmesunshite- OP says he's around 7 in her post of 19:27

Feedtheshark- If he's under the age of criminal responsibility what do you expect the police to Do? They have no powers to deal with it

Report all the assaults to police, even last year's one. Same as if someone had done it to you.

When you say you 'marched round' do you mean you confronted the parents angrily?

I didn't display any anger - I've spoken to the dad a few times, and I just mentioned to him that his DS had hurt my daughter, and that him hitting and kicking girls is not OK. He apologised. It's the mom who started ranting.

Ragged - I can see the park from my flat and garden, I don't have to sit in the park. I have told her to stay away from the boys in no uncertain terms, but I can't keep an eye on her 24/7.

Note down everything, every filthy look, every bit of verbal abuse, everything so that if anything else happens you have written records of it all....your daughter should not have to grow up in fear. Maybe also get her to some self defence classes, these truly made my daughter feel amazing. She has (so far!) never had to use her skills, but just knowing she can hold her own if she sadly had to can make life so much better. My daughter is 9 and had the same problems at school when she was 6, one particular gang of kids decided she was their target, and she was throwing up in fear. She'll be ten this year and now is so confident again thanks to learning Karate, made new friends of all ages, and is blooming strong! lol :-) xxxx

I think you need to report this. At the very least it should act as a deterrent for future.

I'd be at the play area. Preferably with my dh and or six foot four tattooed up and scary looking brother in law

Alas Bringme - I'm single and have no scary looking friends (I've only been living here 7 months). The boy's dad is actually a scary looking tatooed man. Disclaimer - I have nothing against tatts, I have a few myself.

@FeedTheSharkAndItWIllBite

I think she should and ought to.
I am just aware that people in general mistakenly think telling local children services is 'too far' and yet it's not. It's all part of a picture that children services don't get too usually, but are expected to guess at without having info , or expected to have hindsight for.

I think you and i agree on same course of action.

Does your local council have an anti-social behaviour team? If so, it might be worth contacting them.

Perhaps they shouldn't be running around without adults if this is happening. And I agree, report to the police and make a nuisance of yourself.

don't get to hear* usually (i missed a word.

Bloody hell OP you scared for a while there - I saw the title of your thread and immediately thought it had kicked off big time between the US and North Korea; my internet then went down for 10 minutes and so I couldn't read your thread or get onto the BBC news site.

So, Sorry you are going through all this hassle but thank goodness it's not WW3.

Alao report to Borough council and Housing association if its on one of their sites, that assaults and anti social behaviour are occuring there, as they may want to CCTV cover it.

Is there something important you are doing in your flat when she's in the park? Look, I have been there. Countless hours spent standing & supervising my kids playing on the street (no other parent supervised their parents on that street, the others were housekeeping or working). But I felt I had to do the bored witless thing, to give my child the freedom to play.

I know it's great she's a toughie who can handle herself. But what matters here... punishing the other kids & maybe making enemies of your neighbours with he-said-she-said unproven stories, or keeping your own kid safe & cutting down on any trouble in first place?

So, just to be clear - there are two boys involved, is that right? The seven year old who threw a stick (did he hit her as well?) And a year six boy who kicked her last year and threw her shoes in a bin today?