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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

" let him play In the road!" AIBU to feel hurt?

82 replies

popingpopcorn · 22/04/2017 13:31

Was parked up on our drive way ( we live on a very busy main road and the engine was off) with my clingy 12 month old on my lap in the drivers seat ( was waiting for someone to move his car seat from their car into ours) when LO honked the horn, wasn't a long honk at all as I quickly moved him away from the horn. family member then walked over and put the car seat in the back of the car and I went to hand LO over to The family member to put LO in the car seat, as I handed him over LO accidentally hit the horn again ( like before was a very short beep). The neighbour then ran out shouting ' SHUT THE FUCK UP!" I quickly apologised and explained that it was the LO and told him that he is now going in the car seat and it won't happen again. The neighbour seemed so angry and said ' I don't care just shut the Fuck up" again I then repeated what I said about the LO , apologised and said we were going out. The neighbour then said ' well why don't you solve the person causing this problem and let him play in the road' he said it so violently and angrily and I am so upset... my LO is only 12 months and he said such a horrible disgusting thing to him and about him!

It wasn't early in the morning and it wasn't late at night ( was 12 lunchtime) and I know that the neighbour doesn't have any young children.

I am so hurt, I feel awful for LO I am now scared to let him play outside in case we upset the neighbour. SadSad

OP posts:
MOIST · 22/04/2017 14:56

I am not that man. Nor have I or would I actually suggest throwing a baby to the wolves for making a noise.
I was mearly pointing out a reason why he may have been pissed off.
I am pissed off. I work nights. This is not a choice. Drugs don't work, ear plugs are uncomfortable. 3 hours sleep in 48 is actually painful and being woken up makes a person a bit tetchy. Babies should not be allowed anywhere near car horns.

Lucy7400 · 22/04/2017 14:56

He's a dick. Don't waste another second thinking about him.

TiredCluelessMummy · 22/04/2017 14:56

Moist I hope you're joking about calling the police. If people are clogging up the lines calling for things like babies accidentally pressing a car horn twice then it's no bloody wonder that it's so difficult to get them out when they're actually needed.

Unfortunately when you work nights you will sometimes be woken up by noises because the rest of the world is awake and going about its business. Although this guy doesn't work so that's by the by. Absolutely no excuse whatsoever for wishing death on somebody's baby. I don't give a shiny shite whether he's tired, ill, just got the worst news ever, etc. You do not tell someone that you wish their child dead. The end.

MOIST · 22/04/2017 14:58

Oh sweet lord of course I bloody am. Just an expression of bloody rage.

Aeroflotgirl · 22/04/2017 14:59

Moist you cannot expect the world to stop because of your night shifts, it is daytime and people will be going about their business, if it wasen't a car horn it might have been something else that woke that dick up, like someone at the door, or a garbage truck, or emergency services or whatever. Like someone else said, when you choose to take on night shifts, this is part and parcel of them, as the world is awake when your asleep.

SoupDragon · 22/04/2017 15:01

I believe it is illegal to sound the car horn whilst stationary. Barring emergency situations.

MOIST · 22/04/2017 15:05

OP.
YABU to allow your child to beep the horn
HIBU to tell you to let him play in the road.
IABU generally but I am tired and awake.

Zaphodsotherhead · 22/04/2017 15:06

I'm in the middle of a run of late shifts, so I feel MOISTs pain and offer sympathy.

Your neighbour is a prick, OP. An angry, abusive prick. In future just smile sweetly and ignore him completely.

ohlittlepea · 22/04/2017 15:09

I work nights but manage not to scream at anyone. Life goes on, being tired is hard but not an excuse to be an arsehole.
Your neighbour sounds awful. He doesn't sound approachable to talk to about it, you could get the police involved but it might cause more trouble for you. To be honest if I lived next to someone like that and could possibly do it I'd move.

TiredCluelessMummy · 22/04/2017 15:12

Moist if you know you're very tired and grumpy, why would you come on here just to be arsey and rude? Don't get it at all. Surely just wait til you're feeling a bit more human. You might not have been jumped on quite the same.

LoveMyLittleSuperhero · 22/04/2017 15:25

Me and DP have both worked nights, DP still does, Flowers Moist I 100% understand how you feel trying to function on that amount of sleep. Hope you manage to catch up a bit soon.

OP YANBU, he was absolutely an arse. I'm very unreasonable about noise right now (migraines, night worker, 6month old, and two dogs which bark/whine at some noises) but even I wouldn't run out to shout at you for two short horn beeps in the middle of the day, especially not if you had a 12 month old with you. If he does it again just completely ignore, do not apologise and if he gets arsey over any play time noises over summer get some music on to drown him out.

Hope you enjoy the rest of your day, don't let the miserable git ruin it.

dementedma · 22/04/2017 15:31

I fear you could be in for a miserable summer OP when the wee one is playing out in the garden. We had a neighbour like this. the dcs got to the point where they wouldn't go outside, even on lovely sunny days. We ended up calling the police in the end and he was cautioned for his abusive behaviour. Keep a diary.

AmserGwin · 22/04/2017 15:57

I would have told him to piss off, and leaned on the horn with one hand while doing this with the other 🖕🏻

LouiseTM · 22/04/2017 16:05

beep your horn outside again and again and again.. No way would i let this prick away with saying something like that about my baby. Absolute dickhead

CauliflowerSqueeze · 22/04/2017 16:10

He's a dick. brush off those comments. He won't be spending a second thinking about you; don't spend a second on him!

Brush it off:

TittyGolightly · 22/04/2017 17:07

It's illegal to beep the horn of a stationary car. Next time, sit in the back with him.

user1487175389 · 22/04/2017 17:10

He was threatening your child. (threatening to run him over). I would call the police on the non emergency number and report him.

Freddystarshamster · 22/04/2017 17:15

That's technically an assault. I'd make it very clear to him that if he made threats towards my kids again I'd be seeking legal advice

No it's not. Not in England and Wales anyhow

Freddystarshamster · 22/04/2017 17:17

User- from what the OP said, where did HE threaten to run him over?

JustAKitten · 22/04/2017 17:27

Freddy, It can be construed as a threat of violence.

ChameleonCircuit · 22/04/2017 17:30

I would've done the same as AmserGwim.

OP - Your neighbour is a twat.

elfycat · 22/04/2017 17:31

#The Highway Code - Rule 92
The horn. Use only while your vehicle is moving and you need to warn other road users of your presence. Never sound your horn aggressively. You MUST NOT use your horn
while stationary on the road
when driving in a built up area between the hours of 11.30 pm and 7.00 am

So you can sound your horn while stationary on a private drive or land...

Otherwise my DF broke the law with every MOT test he ever performed

TittyGolightly · 22/04/2017 17:34

Use only while your vehicle is moving and you need to warn other road users of your presence
Ummmmmm

MOT tests are exempted (and not relevant in this case anyway).

nursy1 · 22/04/2017 17:40

You are mostly cross because you were reasonable and apologised. I would just tell him that if he ever swears like that in front of your children again you will report him for threatening behaviour.
He is crazy

elfycat · 22/04/2017 17:40

The first bit is advising when horns should be used, the bits after MUST NOT are the legal bits (half of the highway code is advisory)

No laws were being broken, it was accidental, the child wasn't of the age of criminal responsibility anyway. It was 2 beeps of a horn during the daytime.

And yes MOT are exempt from lots of bits, but you'd have to feel sorry for shift workers living near garages.

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