To think this is the wankiest thing I've ever eaten?

[Mrsknackered]

Aspen fries.
Apparently cooked in truffle oil and they have a 'peak' of Parmesan dumped grated on top, like the snowy mountain.
They cost £5, came in a tiny wire basket and the Parmesan formed a plasticky sheet of dandruff which welded to the first layer of chips.
I don't know why I let the waiter talk me into them.
What's the wankiest thing you've eaten?!

As an aside I read a jay raynor piece recently about an upmarket place in Paris I think it was where they'd reviewed. Parsley in cheesecake. That's definitely on the wankiestfoodmeter.

Persil et gateaux fromage ! Quelle horreur ! Desole!

A 'raw' 'snickers' bar from Edinburgh's first 'naked' cafe.

A mouthful of peanutty gloopy slime. It was a year ago and I'm still not over it. It was 4.50 too.

I love this thread. Can't really think of any wanky things in restaurants but I was given the horror of scallops and guacamole once.
I am also loving the slate, basket, board hate. In the words of John Finnemore "Put it on a plate" m.youtube.com/watch?v=cX4KuEAYIYY

Oooh just thought of something else. Not terribly wankified but different.

Had breakfast out and ordered porridge. The porridge was all watery and sloppy, the dish came on a plate, and on the plate were three little condiment jars, two containing sliced bananas and the other containing honey.

Only thing I could think was what a load of unnecessary washing up after when they could have chucked it all in one bowl!

"Raw snickers" 😂

Mrsknackered

I wish they had been Viscount biscuits!
It was dark chocolate filled with rye porridge.

And that dessert was to be shared among three...

You need to look at WE WANT PLATES on Facebook/twitter. Loads of shovels/boards/weird things food is served in! What's wrong with good old plates?!!

John Finnemore said it best
m.youtube.com/watch?v=cX4KuEAYIYY

Argh sorry, didn't refresh - someone posted that already!

Who likes /wants this deconstructed crap anyway? I've not seen anyone who thinks it's a good idea so why is it so popular?

I love that song!

Next thing will be a deconstructed coffee...hot water, ground coffee and warmed milk. Imagine the exquisite shock to the palate of the dry ground coffee followed by the cleansing draught of hot water, rounded off by the primal comfort of the warm milk.

I'd better stop in case someone takes me seriously.

Gallicos that's been done, I have seen a photo uploaded before on Facebook of a deconstructed coffee. I believe it was in East London

I don't know what it is it's crunchy and slightly sweet

Does it look like granulated sugar? It's probably MSG. It's the same stuff they put on cabbage to make it in to seaweed.

Love We Want Plates. Their mandate is needed.

Pinkheart5915 yesterday described one

Oh yes the deconstructed coffee has been done.

Oh I've also had a deconstructed earl grey tea. I didn't know where to put any of it in the right order

DH bought me some chocolate from Harrods once - it was basically an undersized Crunchie and cost £18