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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Am i the only parent who makes my child wait when on the phone?

26 replies

malificent7 · 22/04/2017 09:53

Unless dd has urgent need. I love to catch up with friends, family and dp on phone. I try not to talk too long but sometimes i will chat for 10 mins.
Also i obviously have to make business calls etc.

Ime kids hate it when we are on the phone but i make dd wait until i have finished. I have a dear freind who always finishes a call after 2/3 mins as her dd wants her. Both kids are 7/8 and can easily amuse themselves.

Am i being selfish? Should i finish a xall early if dd wants me?

OP posts:

Helpmeltb · 22/04/2017 10:02

No, I make mine wait too.

Same when I'm at a friend's house, I tell them off for interrupting and make them wait until I've finished. Friend just drops the conversation with me if her dd wants anything. I find it a bit rude tbh (kids are 9)

Justmadeperfectflapjacks · 22/04/2017 10:03

Excuse me dd /dd but you can see I am on the phone. .
Works every time.

Gizlotsmum · 22/04/2017 10:05

I make mine wait but if they are being really disruptive I will apologise, end the conversation, tell them off and ring them back asap

cheminotte · 22/04/2017 10:06

Of course not. I also get ds to wait if I'm having a conversation in real life with another adult.

KateDaniels2 · 22/04/2017 10:06

It really depends on who i am talking to and what the kids want.

GaladrielsRing · 22/04/2017 10:07

I make them wait or just ignore them. They never seem to want to talk to me or ask anything until I'm on the phone!

GaladrielsRing · 22/04/2017 10:08

^mine are older though (12 and 13) so it's usually 'can I have some money for the shop' not a life or death situation

SaucyJack · 22/04/2017 10:09

Depends entirely on whether I want to continue talking to whoever's on the other end of the phone.

NoDramasPlease · 22/04/2017 10:11

I have a friend like this. She'll call me and within 5 seconds is having conversations with her kids whilst I'm left hanging, within a couple of minutes she'll have to go as they 'won't let her speak'. Her youngest is 9 ffs . Haven't spoken to her in ages as i just cba with that shit, it's rude. If DS tries to interrupt he gets the ✋.

BeyondThePage · 22/04/2017 10:13

It depends.

I watched a mum tell her DD off (in the school playground) because she was talking on her phone - her DD was trying to tell her that her little brother had fallen and had blood running down his face.

I think you need to find out WHY they need to interrupt quickly. Then if not important, make them wait - but if VERY young, only a short while.

I would never just simply make a child wait. I GET that the interrupting thing is annoying, but sometimes being attached to a phone is a habit and not necessarily a great thing to be modelling for a child either.

Greggers2017 · 22/04/2017 10:25

My children always decide they need me or start fighting when I'm on the phone

Pigface1 · 22/04/2017 10:45

YANBU. The ability to wait and recognise that your needs are not number 1 priority for everyone at every single moment is an important life lesson.

MSLehrerin · 22/04/2017 10:56

Read 'Why French children don't throw food". Sums it up perfectly

Trifleorbust · 22/04/2017 10:58

sometimes being attached to a phone is a habit and not necessarily a great thing to be modelling for a child either.

What, having a conversation? Why?

FeedMeAndTellMeImPretty · 22/04/2017 11:10

My DP used to do this - it would drive me mad. He'd FaceTime me and within minutes his DD would obviously hear him talking to me and call out to him so he'd say "sorry can I call you back?" or he'd just have a chat with her while I sat there like a lemon.

In the end I had words about it and said it was annoying and rude, that if she is still awake (this is usually about 10.30-11pm, she is now 8 but this has been going on for 4 years!!) then he should get her off to bed and call me afterwards. It's always something pointless and non urgent, or "I need a drink" which really should be something she can sort out herself, but it's obviously an attention thing.

She still interrupts most calls, but he does at least now mute the conversation, shout to her to wait and then carry on talking to me now.

When he's been there all evening and I've waited until 11pm for a chat to him I don't think it's too much to ask.

My kids are told to butt out if they try to interrupt a phone call. If they are awake when he calls me (school hols etc) they will often say hi and maybe have a chat to him themselves, but they don't get to just have a conversation with me while he sits there waiting. So rude.

KayTee87 · 22/04/2017 11:12

It depends on age and how much attention you've paid to dc that day compared to being on the phone. Dsil came to pick up 2yo dn from me after not seeing him all day, he was saying 'mummy mummy mummy' while she sat on the phone for 30 minutes to my db about something that really could have waited until he was in bed an hour later. I just felt a bit sad for him, also meant I had to distract an increasingly annoyed toddler instead of eating my dinner.

TondelayaDellaVentamiglia · 22/04/2017 11:21

i have a "face" for interrupt-ers, followed up by the face with even more incredulity plus a "Wait" pointy finger, followed up by ...no never needed it.

unless the house is on fire, whatever they need can wait.

Batgirlspants · 22/04/2017 11:25

Agree op it's rude. I have a set face for interrupters to Tond

user1485342611 · 22/04/2017 11:32

YANBU, but kids nowadays seem to be generally allowed interrupt adult conversations whenever they like. Instead of being told not to interrupt they're pandered to. It can be very annoying trying to have a conversation with a parent like this.

corythatwas · 22/04/2017 11:46

Am I the only one who can't seem to go a day without seeing parents on the bus/ in the park/ walking along the road carrying on endless conversations on their mobiles and only interrupting to yell at their children when they get into trouble?

To the extent when I could feel my whole face lighting up yesterday when a mum with 3 kids got on the bus and seated her youngest next to herself and talked to him throughout the journey, while big brother (perhaps about 8 or 9) sat next to middle sister and talked to her. It was the sweetest thing I have seen in a long time and I could see exactly where big brother had learnt it from.

Nothing wrong with holding a conversation- but then again, nothing at all wrong with holding a conversation with the person you are actually in the company of. I wouldn't think much of someone who went on a bus journey or out for a meal with me and spent the whole time nattering to somebody else on the phone. Good manners is something that has to be modelled as well as instilled by discipline.

BahHumbygge · 22/04/2017 12:17

One of my earliest memories is my mum doing this while on the phone to my gran when I was 3. My nose was badly running and I desperately needed a tissue. But mum kept shushing me away. So in my 3 year old logic I attempted to stop the flow in the only way I could think of - I stuck a lego flower up my nose

Told my mum after... cue knocking on neighbour's door late evening to rush me to A & E to have it removed... beware of ignoring your kids at your peril

AndNoneForGretchenWieners · 22/04/2017 12:24

My mum infuriates me - she will phone me and then carry on conversations with my nan, dad or sister whilst I'm on the end of the phone. However she was very strict with us growing about not interrupting when adults are talking

BeyondThePage · 22/04/2017 12:26

sometimes being attached to a phone is a habit and not necessarily a great thing to be modelling for a child either

What, having a conversation? Why?

What I hate most is the opposing scenario - the dropping of the face-to-face conversation simply because the phone has rung.

It is not a compulsory requirement to answer a ringing phone immediately.

chitofftheshovel · 22/04/2017 12:43

Ah the land line ringing is like pavlovs dog in this house. We can all be in separate rooms, doing our own thing. Until the phone rings and all of a sudden the kids need me!

I do the over exaggerated pointing to the phone at my ear, the finger wagging, the shooing away. It's just bloody pesky.

Original poster

malificent7 · 22/04/2017 13:02

Glad im not the only one then! Have never heard my friend say "wait a minute... im talking"

OP posts:

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