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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to have mumsnet insecurities

112 replies

deliverdaniel · 22/04/2017 04:33

i am aware of the irony of posting this on here. Maybe I'm a masochist.

I find that although I often get good advice/ reassurance on here, mumsnet can also often make me feel very insecure. My biggest flash point insecurity is people posting about badly behaved children and how useless the parents must be. Eg when a poster says something like "I can't believe it when people let their toddlers have tantrums/ touch things they shouldn't / behave naughtily etc etc. My toddler invariably regularly does ALL the things they mention and I feel totally powerless to stop him even though I do my level best. I feel as though my children are pretty badly behaved, at least by mumsnet standards and it makes me feel massivevly insecure when I come on here and like a rubbish mum.

Do you have a mumsnet insecurity?

OP posts:
shellhider · 22/04/2017 20:25

anybody who says that you just pick them up and carry them away has clearly never had a toddler who wriggles and kicks so hard that you have to put them down on the floor and tell them to come and see you when their tantrum has finished and then walk away - as in go a few feet away and just stand there waiting for them. It's so embarrassing.

Original poster
deliverdaniel · 22/04/2017 20:30

shell yes! This was my first- my second runs away as fast as he can, breaking whatever he can see on his way, as I run after him.

cheerfulmbler that's v generous of you. I def don't have a lot to deal with compared to many people on mn . But I also didn't feel insecure about parenting when I just had one toddler. I felt I was doing a good job/ was always able to meet his needs etc. now I have two I am constantly second guessing/ struggling. And two is still barely any and I have a supportive DH and a comfortable life in other respecta

OP posts:
BusterGonad · 22/04/2017 20:38

My son is 8, he's an only child, he stresses me out a lot as I'm sure he has some kind of SNs and I always feel like a shit mum, I probably am but damn anyone who makes me feel that way. Not everyone has children that go to bed at bedtime, that eats all their food regardless if they like it, that doesn't get upset by really bizarre things. They should try walking in my shoes.....
Some days we never leave the house, I sometimes just cannot deal with the stupid things he does and I need a day of normality.

dangermouseisace · 22/04/2017 23:05

wooami I love your story. That's the sort of thing that I could imagine happening to me.

Cellardoor23 · 22/04/2017 23:33

I've been trying to avoid the baby name threads as it's made me think I've picked a horrible name for my son, to the point I have seriously considered changing it.

badabing36 · 22/04/2017 23:59

Cellardoor23 oh that's crap. Really don't worry about it, there is no perfect name that everyone likes. If you like the name and it suits him, then that's fine.

Cellardoor23 · 23/04/2017 00:11

badabing36 I know, I can't help it. People I have spoken to about it in rl have thought I'm being ridiculous, I probably am. Oh and to get off mumsnet!

abigwideworld · 23/04/2017 01:48

I'm occasionally insecure about my age. According to MN nobody in their early 20s should want children, they should be jetting off to foreign countries and climbing some corporate ladder. I'm not sure how avoiding either of these things mean I'm a crap parent, but my baby seems happy enough so far :)

Oh, and i gave my baby one of the most common names in the country. Think top 5. Borderline abusive if you listen to the baby names lot!

EvilDoctorBallerinaDuck · 23/04/2017 07:11

abig I had DS1 when I was 23 and DD1 when I was 24. They've grown into 2 lovely adults of whom I'm ridiculously proud.

Corporate ladders leave me cold and I hate wearing suits!

badabing36 · 23/04/2017 07:26

Yeah I had my baby at 29 and still hadn't travelled the world or established a career yet. I wish I'd done it earlier.

shellhider · 23/04/2017 08:07

Buster I could have written your message a few years ago. Now he's matured into a lovely young man despite my concerns about autism/aspergers etc etc.
Flowers

Spudlet · 23/04/2017 10:05

wooami Please be my friend! We will fit together marvellously.

I don't dare open most dog threads. My Spuddog most assuredly does not have perfect recall and he is a Masked Picnic Raider of the highest order. It's been a few years since he got away with it because I'm very good at spotting them from miles away now, but he's had more than his fair share of ill gotten sausage rolls Blush

And then there was the day when I found DS gnawing on Spuddog's deer antler chew... ShockShockConfused

My favourite post ever was on a SAHM one where the op had an only child and someone said something along the lines of 'One is hardly a full time job' (so the house etc should be immaculate). I'm not entirely sure how I'm meant to persuade my DS to need me on a part time basis only, but if I work it it, I'll let you all know...!

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