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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Has anyone ever realised a thread is about them?

186 replies

Diel · 21/04/2017 17:51

Wondering if anyone has ever recognised a thread is about them and responded?

I'm purely asking out of curiosity, no experience of it

OP posts:
standingonlego · 22/04/2017 20:22

I have a few NN that I use to cover me from "do not care if you know it is me, it is kinda obvious" to "proper secret tricky stuff". Not been outed, but if you know me...it's obvious it's me!

MrsMeeseeks · 22/04/2017 20:33

No, but I wish my future SIL would read some of my posts about my brother and realise that they are about him because I want her to realise what a huge mistake she is making.

If you are K and marrying S this Summer and he is estranged from both his sisters, PLEASE DON'T MARRY HIM!

PolarBearGoingSomewhere · 22/04/2017 20:36

The only friends I know IRL on here have never said they've spptted me but I write how I would text or WhatsApp so they'll probably recognise me! I don't particularly mind - I'm a kind person and a pretty open book so I wouldn't say anything on here I wouldn't in real life.

I have spotted someone I "know" from another much smaller group (of about 50 women, we message daily but haven't met IRL) on here.

Str4ngedaysindeed · 22/04/2017 20:40

I asked for advice about a tricky work situation several years ago and my solicitor somehow found out about it and got me to take it down!

M0nica · 22/04/2017 20:53

Yes Blush Back when i first joined mn about 12 yrs ago I once came home from a very disappointing parents evening. The teacher told us she had a yoga class to get to then rattled off some generic shit about an obviously different child not least because got ds name wrong.
I came on here to rant & got completely roasted by everyone saying give her a break, shes a teacher therefore shes a god/above criticism/given up her entire life for your pfb etc etc
Anyway lesson learned never to diss teachers on mn oops but when I saw her next she 'accidentally on purpose' said my username in conversation Grin
Fair play, I actually have slightly more respect for her now I know shes an MNer

cuirderussie · 22/04/2017 20:55

Not here, on another parenting forum. I recognised the people involved in a very painful story involving a child whose parentage had been kept secret and the revelation and subsequent fallout. I didn't ever say anything as it was none of my business and I felt vaguely guilty that I stumbled on the story (and realised how careful you have to be about identifying details when posting private things, ouch)

Rach6l · 22/04/2017 21:16

This could well be about me Grin

MiddleClassProblem · 22/04/2017 21:20

I'm pretty identifiable but no one has come forward. I once asked a friend if she was on MN during a chat on whatsapp and she just ignored the question and I just sent a message about something else and moved on. I wondered if it was because she had searched my name post a cocker between us and realised it was me and I'm just clueless (I wouldn't mind either way) or that she just wants to be completely anonymous. We would have amazing big banter on AIBU though!

CornwallLass · 22/04/2017 21:24

There was a thread about my DH, who is a headteacher. A parent was slagging off the school (very identifying details, including location!) so I gently asked if she had spoken to the head about her concerns. "No. He's a complete waste of space." All the other posters then weighed in saying it was unfair to complain publicly if you don't let the school know of problems and she said everybody was picking on her. I then revealed that I knew the head so she got the thread taken down instantly and wrote a lovely letter of apology to him. She messaged me wanting to know how I knew the head, but I said nothing!

HiggeldyPiggeldy · 22/04/2017 22:05

I posted about exh he printed it out and used it during our divorce have nc a few times since

LondonLlama · 22/04/2017 22:13

When my eldest dc was only a few months old, I was reading a thread on a different (completely inferior, obviously) site's board for his birth month, and suddenly realised it was written about me! It was an NCT friend who'd written a rant about all the nasty things I'd apparently said about her baby, and all the responses to her post were along the lines of 'I would have punched the bitch!' Shock
The bizarre part was that none of it was true - I only recognised a small part of our conversation at the very start of the story (although she'd taken it completely out of context, which even allowing for subjectivity, was way off base).
The fact that she was the one who'd recommended the board to me in the first place, made it even more bizarre! Confused

Phantommagic · 22/04/2017 22:26

I spotted a parent from school about a very recognisable incident with her child about which she was very aggrieved. The most interesting thing was her description of her child's usual behaviour and attitude, and the reality.

CotswoldStrife · 22/04/2017 23:16

I thought I recognised another school mum on a thread and instantly name changed Grin

I quite often read threads that sound familiar (I used to work in HR) because there are some problems that crop up with depressing regularity, unfortunately! Thanks to that job, I am always aware that there are two sides to each story and you're only getting one on here.

I've seen myself mentioned on a different forum when someone thought they'd recognised me under a different username but they were wrong! The poster that they thought was me had a distinctive point of view completely different to mine so why they thought it was me is a bit of a mystery - but that's obviously how they 'remembered' me.

TheShortestGiraffe · 23/04/2017 08:52

I was recognised by DH's ex in a thread I wrote out her verbally abusing me and trying to break us up. It was true, and I thought I'd changed enough details, but think the timing of my follow up posts gave me away. I denied it to DH (I don't think he ever saw it but think she told him) and his ex. Haven't posted since (until now). Hated that she had read how her abuse made me feel, I felt totally violated. Still go cold thinking about it. Bet she has it all printed out somewhere Blush

shellhider · 23/04/2017 08:55

I know somebody on this thread, they don't know that I'm on MN though...

Glossolalia · 23/04/2017 08:58

shellhider that kind of post is probably just going to make people feel paranoid... Sad

FlyingSquid · 23/04/2017 09:06

Well, it cuts down the possibilities from all of Mumsnetting to about 160 people who think they might know shellhider...

katronfon · 23/04/2017 09:24

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

shellhider · 23/04/2017 09:31

gloss it's not intended to, I mean if I wanted them to know that I knew I'd say who it was. Lots of us will know somebody else on MN whether we know it or not. I'm sensitive enough never to act on anything that I read on here IRL in the same way that I never act on gossip that I hear IRL.

papersmile · 23/04/2017 09:50

Londonllama - is there a chance it wasn't about you? You said that you only recognised a small part of the conversation at the very start of the story - could that have been a generic conversation that people have about their babies?

I'm sure in some cases people are recognised, but I think often the worry that you will be outed/recognised means that you read more into people's posts.

HelloDoris · 23/04/2017 09:51

I know someone who posts on MN, not sure if she recognises me although I rarely post. I'd never say and I don't read her threads (on purpose), not seen any about me, although I'm a boring fucker. One day..

MiddleClassProblem · 23/04/2017 10:17

Well if anyone knows me I don't mind them saying or pming. But that's probably because I'm a lonely sod 😆😂😢😭

QueenofPentacles · 23/04/2017 16:57

Is this about ME? I knew it....

HoldBackTheRain · 23/04/2017 16:59

Slightly different but about 8 years ago I used to post on the Women's Aid anonymous forum. Lots of lovely women on there and we all supported each other. Long story short, 2 of the women realised through various posts that they had both been abused by the same man. The last we all knew was that it was looking likely the CPS were going to charge him because there was more evidence given that he'd done the same to 2 women who didnt know each other IRL. I hope they did!

NameChange10001 · 23/04/2017 18:51

"Imfinehowareyou Fri 21-Apr-17 20:34:34

I found my sister on here by accident - very specific details on a thread. So I searched her other threads and foumd her saying the most awful things about my mum who was actually making herself ill by helping my sister out so much. It was horrible to read. It made me realise that you only get the OP's point of view as my sister had so many supportive responses when actually she had missed put all the awful ways in which she had behaved."

Are you my sister, Imfinehowareyou?
Do you live in South Wales and keep chickens?