Has anyone ever realised a thread is about them?

[Diel]

Wondering if anyone has ever recognised a thread is about them and responded?

I'm purely asking out of curiosity, no experience of it

I realised a mumsnet royalty poster must live very near me after they posted something totally innocuous but also recognisable. I pm'd her and turned out her DD was a close friend of my DD! Bit starstruck actually, sad I know

No and I'm not a very regular poster but if someone I knew did look at things I'd posted on threads it would be pretty easy to put two and two together.

Happily I haven't recognised anyone as I'm not sure I could keep quiet

I've never recognised anyone but I always panic that someone will recognise me. Not that I post anything I wouldn't say IRL but because I like a bit of anonymity.

Yes! not on here though, on a horse forum.
I went to view a horse for part loan. Looked on horse forum and there was a thread by the people who owned the horse (who I didn't know previously) but was very very recognisable. horse had not been the best behaved in the try out. She wrote a sort of pros and cons list of should we loan to this person (me) or not? With the 'cons' list including things like 'she is too heavy for him' 'the horse did not seem to get on with her' and then other posters replied saying oh I wouldn't loan to her/I hate people like that they are not to be relied on in the winter. I was so shocked to find such a damning review of me as a prospective loaner! This was when I was first discovering forums (2007-ish) and since then I've known that every OP only tells one side of the story

I have recognised 4 people from some sections as service users of mine all 4 times I was correct and I did disclose to them I had seen all name changed.

I have received around 30 PM's asking me are you x only one has ever been correct

My sister recognised me from a thread about me deciding whether or not to go NC with her and her partner

Every single time there's a thread title that mentions a "colleague", I wonder if it's going to be about me. Because nobody else works... I don't know why I'm so paranoid because as far as I'm aware my colleagues like me and I have none of the annoying habits that pop up frequently in "AIBU about my colleague" threads.

It never has been about me.

I've been recognised once and have since name changed a couple of times (not for that reason), but never seen a thread about me, but I'm not very interesting.

I know for definite one person, but that is because she is going through something terrible and lots of people in the area know about it anyway, so it's hardly a surprise. (And she's awesome.)

On another forum there's been a few people I know, but it's much more niche.

Not quite the same, but there's someone here whose username is actually my real name, complete with unusual spelling - so I've often wondered if I know her, and if I ever find out for sure I'll ask her to bloody well change it!

I used to belong to another forum that was career-related and quite often recognised people from RL, including one who posts quite intimate details of her medical history here under the same username (also quite like her real name) which is a bit dim!

No, but years ago I was outed by a thread I'd started about not being invited to a party and it was spotted and relayed to the party thrower, it caused loads of shit.

I've kept the email sent to me as a result (as it was hilarious), you can see it if you like?

Ooh, yes please ILikeyourHairyHands!

Oh yes, how funny! ILikeyourHairyHands

I'd like to see it, Hairy

I NCd and then got 'recognised' by posters asking if I'd NC'd and it was me. But I've (apparently) got a very distinctive writing style. Makes me realize that if any friends or family were on here, they'd spot me in an instant, so I hope they're not!

I'm going to have to do a lot of redacting, you'll have to wait a minute!

That kind of offer is what we hang out waiting for on Mumsnet at 1.30 in the morning, ILikeyourHairyHands.

Billy! Did she take the decision out of your hands?

Ok, just looked for the original thread but then remembered it got deleted, but not by me, I was pretty pissed off that the twat that stirred the shit actually got it deleted.

Original thread was, we used to have loads of parties and social events to which I invited everyone, there was a BIG party, held by someone, to which we didn't get an invite, so I had a vent on here, it got back to the party holder who sent me a text accusing me of being all-over Facebook with my grievance (I do NOT air my stuff on FB, it was all about seven years ago), anyhow, there's the background.

So I got a million heads up from various sources that I'd been rumbled, and then had a ranty text from the party thrower, to which I replied;

.I don't know .

Am left confused, perturbed and somewhat hurt (not to mention a little bored) by this whole debacle.

Do I want to get to the bottom of the matter? Yes, because Chinese whispers (whilst fun) is a game guaranteed to produce confusing results & it's probably gone on for long enough.

I'm not in the business of falling out with anyone, I thought I'd left those sort of shenanigans behind me at the school gates.

So, in that spirit, I think the only way this can be resolved is with a bit of honesty. You tell me what's been going on, I do likewise (any persons implicated are deemed innocent bystanders - no repercussions). If we find our positions intractable, hey ho, we're both big girls I think we can take it. So, starting with your text, we both know you didn't see anything on Facebook as there's nothing there.......

Over to you....

PS I think for the time-being, email is best, no danger of stomping off or raised voices.
PPS You know I'm a very open kind of gal, whatever the outcome, I bear no grudge, let's move on.

And I got this reply

(Furiously redacting)

I have. Old friend posted about my unreasonable behaviour. I was v hurt and ashamed and pretty shocked. It did make me change my attitude - just wish she'd of talked about it to me in private.

Hi
Am particularly pleased by your final statement - I think * is too small to have enemies and anyway it just makes things awkward for the people we both like.

I am honestly sorry to have caused you to feel singled out and excluded over party - that was not my intention.
However, that is the result of my rather slapdash actions and I have to take that on the chin.
I know that you have heard that it was because You and Hairy Husband was drunk at * and s do, which is not relevant. It's true that I didn't want the party to be a drunken
hooley as a 50th is a bit different to a 30th or a 40th and I wouldn't have encouraged over-the-topness* because there were people coming I'd never met,
who went to school with, and who are in their 50s on the whole.
I got the majority of invites out to 's friends and family, including (which comprises 42 runners) and quickly got
50 rsvps and sort of panicked about feeding and entertaining everyone (single-handed as it was a surprise, although everyone pitched in). In the end around 60
people came and that was tops for me feeling comfortable about taking it on.
I didn't really think of you guys as being 's friends (more mine) and we have seen less and less of you lately (I didn't even have your mobile until yesterday)
so it seemed fair enough. I decided to make the party about 's and not our friends, and he says it was the best night of his life so I think I succeeded in making
it his day.
People like and and etc helped me putting it together and because of working on the house and stuff s has had more connection with
, and , whereas I don't think he and * would generally cross paths.
If it's people like and who have clouded the water then I guess I would say I think we (collectively) have spent more time together of late, since getting
the puppies and arriving and it seemed natural enough. That said, I am surprised at 's reaction/stance to this whole situation and wish she
had been honest in the week prior to 's party (when she had ample opportunity to say you would like to come and I would have got in touch). I feel I got her totally
wrong and it sounds from what I have heard that she has done her best to stir up a hornet's nest rather than not create a big drama. Tell me if I've got that wrong.
used to climb with way back when I first met him and really likes him and
I hope that clears confusion - there are plenty of other people I didn't invite ( - as it turns out, although I did think she was in , Liz, my school friends
(with whom I am still close and several of which live in*, who know **).

I have heard that 'it is all on Facebook' so yes, you are right to call my bluff because we both know I am not on FB, and I feel a lot incensed that everyone is so bothered
about it, but that no-one, until yesterday at the playground of all places, fronted me out and said did I know what a fuss I have caused.
I thought people were a bit frosty, yourself mainly, at 's party but even then I didn't put two and two together and am genuinely amazed that all this over a 50th!
If anything I figured *, perhaps, thought it would be too boring.

A tranche of other people (I hear) are now put out that I didn't invite them/their children to s tea-party, which again I am really shocked about. After do
I was never going to have a big party less than two weeks later and had declared a boy-free zone. Yes, Ollie did come but and I had discussed their
birthdays weeks prior and it was a done deal.
Boys make for a different sort of party and You son Hairy, lovely as he is, can be rough which is fine in the right environment but girls don't always appreciate that.
"who do I think I am?" I have been told said..."a mum trying her best to give their child the party they want" I would say. It was low-key and lovely.
For the record, I had tried to hire a hall weeks before but because of proximity to Easter it was tricky (which is much easier as then you can invite 30+ a La ).
You cope with masses of children well, you run a play-group, I'm not so great and 10 is my max (at home).

I think the likelihood of me having any sort of party for a while is zilch giving the flack I am getting. We did hold a collective Royal Wedding party in the field opposite
our place, so couldn't have come to your beer festival even if you had invited us:)

This has turned into a bit of a rant but I feel pretty sore too, as obviously you do. I have tried to be honest and I guess you will make of that what you will.

To which I replied

***

My position was, I was hurt, I knew about ' party & wondered why we didn't
get an invitation as we do have many parties & have always invited you both &
considered you friends (yes, probably you & me rather than & * just
because we have had more opportunity to get together).

But hey ho, I figured it was more ' friends, so fine.

I then found out & had been invited & that stung as & I have
invited you both over on many occasions. Social events are few and far between &
to be excluded by people I have always invited was a bit of a slap in the
chops. I then heard that it was an intentional snub because of 's
supposed outrage at & s & the fact that I am 'loud' (and Northern).

& that really hurt.

Please , don't bring anyone else into this, however the information found
me & whoever it came through is largely irrelevant. l & are good &
loyal friends, I think they felt hurt on my behalf from what they had heard &
the original information came through a mutual friend so they felt the right
thing to do was to pass it on to me.

I don't know , would that we were all the same......life would be so much
easier.

Anyway, that's my position, I think it's best to draw a veil over the whole
thing. I'm sorry others have been dragged in, it wasn't my doing.

Abigail

And then we never spoke to each other again.

Though I pointedly invited her to all my parties.

I once posted about my LL harassing me and basically breaking the law (under a diff username - I changed a few small, unimportant details for anonymity reasons)

My LL later posted a thread about me, details unchanged.

I was given sound legal advice. She was rounded upon big style. She clearly thought the few small details I left out/changed gave her reason to harass me. MN massif did not

No-one noticed the two threads were the same probably because she focused on the bits I missed out/changed slightly.

I wasn't sure at the time if it was about me or if I was being paranoid but six months on and touch wood I've not heard a peep from the batshit crazy bitch.

In fact the last she came around (for legally sound reasons) she was super apologetic about her coming round and gave me six weeks notice. I now luffs her.