100% attendance

[AgainstTheOddsNo2]

My daughter has just been sick and is currently devastated and not talking to me because I said she will have to stay home from school and lose her 100% attendance.

Fuck that prize!

But attendance is not an achievenent This. Especially in Primary where parents should ensure children are in school when they are able to be.

It isn't about MasterGee throwing a paddy cost MissTrifle got a certificate and he got three hours in cardio outpatients. Its about the unfairness of MissTrifle having I've cream and a trip to the cinema whilst MasterGee sits in class doing extra maths. Or MissTrifle and MasterGee missing out on the chocolate fountain and MasterGee feeling like it was his fault for having a hospital appointment or a chest infection.

Or perhaps MissTrifle being picked on by MasterSmith and MissJones because she had the audacity to get chicken pox and they all missed out a trip to the beach, even though MissTrifle told MJ and MS that it doesn't matter and they should get over it

MommaGee:

I'm really sorry, I just feel like this is a massive stink about nothing. I would tell my DD that it isn't the end of the world. She will have to deal with disappointment at some stage. From my perspective - and I accept you disagree - attendance awards provide a good opportunity to praise the quiet majority of kids. Yes, it is unfair on those who get ill. I accept that.

Even forgetting the sick kids.. .how cab you say it's a good way to acknowledge the quiet majority of kids?

So how are parents meant to believe anything said at parents evenings or in the reports when you fall back on generic blanket certificates for showing up?

I think trifle you are mistaken on how to build resilience in children. It involves building self-confidence and self-worth. You absolutely don't do it by making a child feel burning resentment and misery for something they had literally no control over. YOU may not be able to be worked up about it, but you need to realise that your child (and certainly a child with chronic health issues) may feel very differently, and may in fact remember the unfairness for decades to come. Missing out on a certificate is one thing, but having to sit in maths while friends go out and eat ice-cream or go to the zoo? That's really a different story.
Too bad if you think that is being a snowflake, that is still the reality of how many small children are likely to react to that kind of unfair treatment.

Ice cream van and bouncy castle, that is awful . My DS went down to about 80% last term due to chicken pox and then a series of other viruses including hospital admission. I had loads of grief from the school attendance lady but thank goodness he didn't have to miss an ice cream van I would have been furious!

Well trifle all I can say is I presume your kids are nt. Special needs aren't all about controlling naughty kids. With my dd it is the other extreme. She can't cope with the idea of the thought of a teacher seeing her as naughty or bad or being disappointed in her. She desperately wants to be good and consequently liked because she finds building relationships spectacularly difficult.

She has sat here this evening asking why she just can't be sick at weekends if she has to be ill. Told me that I am not to tell anyone that she was off school on Friday because she is embarrassed about losing her attendance. None of this has come from me or dh. We make sure she knows she is loved unconditionally even if she is naughty! But I can't change the way she processes stuff all I can do is try to help her find ways of coping. Which is fucking difficult when you can't justify the situation rationally.

I hated the fact my old school used to present the certificates in an assembly but they recently changed it and they just get sent home in the child's book bag as people complIned that it's unfair against children who get ill, children who's parents take them out of school during term time, those who have parents who sometimes are too ill themselves to bring them into school and those who sometimes cannot be bothered to get up and get their kids to school as they don't see the point of school, school refusers, families who don't have the money for the transport in to school and many other situations I have not mentioned. The award is not an incentive to get your child to school each day it's just a way to make other children feel crap at the end of the school year.

The whole school attendance thing really gets to me, my ds was ill with a sickness the first half of term of this school year he had 3 days off over a period of a fortnight before I took him to the Drs and he was diagnosed with a acid reflux issue he has food intolerances so I just presumed it was something he ate that he shouldn't of had 😕 The one morning I took him in after being off the days before as he hadn't been sick again, yet was told by the teacher he didn't look good so take him home at the start of school he didn't even get in to the classroom. I then after that half term got sent a letter warning me of his bad attendance and that if it carried on we would be reported to the education authority! Once he has Meds for the reflux he was fine and hasn't had a day off since, to the point he's come home this holiday with a 100% attendance certificate. I feel like sending it back to them! I bet they are so pleased their nasty letter worked as he has not had another day off NO he's just been lucky enough not to have been taken ill again 😡

Knock up your own certificate. Tell her that being off with sickness doesn't count and she'll still get the certificate. It's what I do with my kids who have numerous medical appts. I tell them the head phoned me to tell me he'd forgotten to give them out in assembly and he'd popped them in their book bags. By the time the new term he arrived, they've forgotten all about it so don't mention it at school.

But that's not going to work in many cases is it and only for very young kids?

In many schools it isn't just a certificate, the kids with the 100 percent get to do something that the rest of the school don't. Garden party with the mayor, cinema, party when normal classes carrry on , tablet, gift vouchers, or day trip to the zoo.

My kids have always laughed it off and don't care too much. Still I can't see all year 5 or 6 kids who have taken pride in their 100 percent attendance being fobbed off with a home made certificate because they were sick once. They may talk about it with their friends who then ask them why they didn't get xxx and they should ask for it still. Oh and that's not what my certificate looked like!

100 percent punctuality I could agree with. That's despite the fact that when mine was tiny they ended up at 2 different primary schools miles apart. One of them was always going to be a few minutes late and if there were roadworks or an accident it could be really crap. Still that would make more sense and I could happily take the blame, sorry kids it's not your fault, it's my circumstance.

At my kids secondaries they both have the 100 attendance shit but punctuality would give them something they could actually aim for. One goes by public transport in our town that has horrible traffic. He makes it most days on time but really he should give himself more time and allow for the traffic. The other one walks to a closer school and is pretty good getting himself out but there is the odd day every term when he drags his feet and gets there when registration is happening.

In either case 100 percent attendance doesn't do anything for them, punctuality may.

We give certificates for being at or above target for attendance. It's more reasonable than expecting 100%. My own children frequently have 100% attendance for a term and have always been at or above target.
So many parents have such a laid back attitude to attendance, I wonder how they keep their jobs, as surely they are similarly lax when it comes to heir own days off. 80% is not good! It means they're averaging 1 day a week off.

simiisme of those kids with 80% attendance do you know that there parents are just lax and let them have time of because they fancy it or are you assuming? When I was in hospital with the toddler there were school age kids are there for weeks and months. They would only need to miss 8 weeks off to get to that target - we were in 4 months, the teenager near us must have missed most the year

zoemaguire:

If she is burning with resentment in thirty years over attendance certificates... Well, let us hope we don't come to that.

Special needs aren't all about controlling naughty kids.

Erm... I know.

It goes without saying that if my DD couldn't cope with some tough love from me, I would try a different tack.

Gileswithachainsaw:

I think you are being a bit argumentative here. As a class teacher I don't issue attendance certificates. On Parents' Evening I talk to parents about how their child is getting on. The two things are not related. As I say, I accept you have issues with attendance awards. I don't. Can't we just agree to disagree?

80% is not good! It means they're averaging 1 day a week off.

My son rarely had above 80% attendance at primary school.

I guess I must have a laid back attitude to attendance.

I specifically said, not over a certificate! Over a big treat while she has to stay in and do maths, or over being bullied because she 'caused' the class to lose a treat. If you don't read what people say properly it makes for a bit of a daft and pointless argument!

I think the whole attendance thing has got out of hand, surely the school can recognise a child/parents who are not engaging with education without this ridiculous measure. We recently received a warning letter as my 5 year old son's attendance has dropped below 96.7% telling us that we may be referred to the education welfare officer if it drops lower. Each of his absences has been due to illness (either vomiting or diarrhoea) and I have followed the schools absence policy each time i.e. Kept them informed and stuck to the 48hr rule. He has been sick since and my DH called the school and offered to send him in in light of the letter we received, of course they politely refused!
You can't do right for doing wrong!!

Dd (aged 6) got a 100%attendance certificate for the autumn term. She knew that she got this because she hadn't been poorly. Last term she didn't get a certificate and was upset as she knew she hadn't been poorly this term. I had to explain that she had taken a day off school for her grandads funeral so had lost the 100%. More tears followed. What kind of crap system lets a child feel bad because they've had to say goodbye to a much loved relative or because they've been poorly and followed the rules about staying away from school or got a medical need that Had to be dealt with during school time.

Trifleorbust Sat 22-Apr-17 07:57:29

"If my DD had chronic health problems and it meant she didn't get a certificate, I would probably buy her a little present to show how proud of her I am, then tell her the other children had been rewarded because, for some of them, coming to school every day isn't easy for different reasons. Obviously she can't help being ill but this is just one of those things. Then we would move on."

Until she went into school next day and assembly included a long talk about how children with poor attendance are letting the school down.

Until the other children in her group told her she had let them down because they missed out on a group treat.

Chronically ill children do not exist in a vacuum. And as a mother you are not the only authority figure in their life. How many times do you think you can get away with buying them a little present if the message they are getting at school is that they are letting everybody down?

I repeat again, when my ds was diagnosed with an incurable and potentially crippling disorder, his first thought was not that he would miss out on treats, it was that his teachers would be angry with him. He felt he had let them down. I did not believe that he had done anything wrong, that message did not come from me.

It was his headteacher who uttered the words "Yes, we do understand that corydd is ill, Mrs Cory, but you cannot expect us to be happy about it ".

It's not so much the certificate, it's what's being said when the certificate is handed out. Ime they don't just tend to be handed to you in silence in a sealed envelope as happened to me when I won the award for the best French scholar in my Sixth Form college: in that case, it might make sense to say "it's just a certificate". At least in the schools I know, they are accompanied by a little speech that is primarily aimed at the other children. And it's that speech that can be harmful.

I agree that a long speech about children letting the school down is totally inappropriate. I don't think explaining to children that the higher your attendance, the more likely to are to achieve, is a bad thing as long as you are clear that it is fine to be off when you are sick.

Cory:

I don't know whether I will get away with it. We will have to see. I certainly won't be encouraging any catastrophising, however. If other authority figures in my DD's life say things I think are unreasonable, I will ask her questions that encourage her to think through the issue for herself. I believe we will come out okay.

zoemaguire:

I don't believe class treats are a good idea because, as you say, they can encourage bullying. I do expect my DD to understand that some treats will be for other children. I do concede that it can't be nice for a child who was ill to not share in the treat, and overall I would prefer such awards to exclude authorised absences.

Real world> More and more people, (inc me), don't get paid if not there.
People whose income is gained from completing projects don't get paid if they miss a day.
People who are unreliable within a team don't get picked for the job

Helpful to learn that. Sickness is bad luck but so is disability, difficulties with language, general mediocrity, physical slowness or clumsiness

Rewards are given for sporting achievement at school and in real world -
Rewards given for handwriting, spelling and maths (dyspraxia/dyslexia/dyscalcula) anyone)

Rewards given for beauty and attractiveness in real world
Rewards given for music ability and dramatic achievement at school and real world
Rewards given for exam skills -

All the fucking time!! (I bet all those whose kids get other rewards are not so keen to abolish the system - as long it is their own kids' abilities or strengths that are being recognized.) It isn't my child's abilities. He only won one certificate in his life - attendance ironically.

Simple as that.

The lesson is to work out what you can achieve.
(I had a severe illness for five years, no benefits, family to support, could not work full time, could not commit to contracts had to re-think what I did).