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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

100% attendance

310 replies

AgainstTheOddsNo2 · 21/04/2017 06:43

My daughter has just been sick and is currently devastated and not talking to me because I said she will have to stay home from school and lose her 100% attendance.

Fuck that prize!

OP posts:
skerrywind · 22/04/2017 16:13

mommagee- I hope your child is improving.

I know how challenging it can be having a child with health problems. XX

skerrywind · 22/04/2017 16:48

trifle you seem keen to document your provenance in areas of empathy- even giving us examples of how switched on and hip you are gnarly classes of bolshy teenagers gurning at me all day Hmm

It doesn't square with your lack of empathy in other areas though as demonstrated on this thread.

I suspect you are not the bomb you think you are at work.

Trifleorbust · 22/04/2017 16:51

skerrywind:

Think as you like. I'm not about to start flapping because a stranger on the internet can't accept a difference of opinion.

skerrywind · 22/04/2017 16:57

I totally accept your differing opinion.

It doesn't mean I have to think you have a benevolent attitude however.

Twinkletowedelephant · 22/04/2017 16:58

We also have the 100% attendance rage in our house kids with 100%. Don't have homework this weekend ..

I have twins 1 had a migraine was sick at school and was sent home... His brother is lucky not to get migraines

I have given up attempting how to explain to ds1 why he has to do an hour's homework because he had a migraine...

Trifleorbust · 22/04/2017 17:00

skerrywind:

You can imagine me to be however you like in RL.

exLtEveDallas · 22/04/2017 17:26

I have been very vocal since working at schools of my disdain for 100% attendance awards. Funnily enough many (not all) teachers agree with me, but feel their hands are tied thanks to OFSTED and their insistence that schools show they are promoting attendance and ways to push figures up.

I've taken to reminding parents that they 'get a say' when OFSTED rolls around, and also when schools hand out the parent/child/PTA questionnaires. Parents need to push the issue over and again if they want anything to change.

DDs old Primary had termly class attendance awards - that DDs class didn't win, ever, in 6 whole years - due in part to the 2 children with chronic conditions and the 2 other children who travelled at certain times of the year. It caused resentment and nastiness - and then apathy from children and parents who came to feel "Well what's the point in pushing DC to attend, they won't win anyway, might as well pop off on holiday early"

At her High School we discovered this year that they do yearly 'fun days' - things like Alton Towers, water park, snow dome etc. They have to be paid for, but tickets go on sale a week early to those kids who have "fast passes" thanks to their 100% status. It's a huge school and yep, all the tickets are sold out to the 100 percenters. DD lost out this year after she vomited following being knocked down the stairs during morning break. I was told to take her home "because of the shock" and she lost her 100% for that afternoon.

I had hoped that attendance awards wouldn't be such an issue at secondary...

Maireadplastic · 22/04/2017 18:38

Punctuality is a much better measure. That means 100% attendance when you're not ill.
Our lovely school doesn't give prizes for 100% attendance, thankfully.

grannytomine · 22/04/2017 18:38

The last time I cried someone had died. I can't imagine I am going to cry because my DD doesn't get a certificate, however much I might believe it is unfair. I guess some people are just a bit delicate.

The teacher I was referring to wasn't upset because of a certificate, I was hoping you might realise that even the toughest teachers, and she was pretty tough, can get upset when it is their child. I'm pretty sure that you will "get" this at some point. It will be interesting for you to realise how a parent can feel when their child is hurt in some way.

If you think certificates, parties and treats are so unimportant why bother to do them? It seems pretty pointless, you turn off kids who have had no choice but to miss a day, the rewards are nothing to get worked up about so presumably the kids who get them don't care and lots of parents are annoyed. Where is the benefit?

Lynnm63 · 22/04/2017 18:42

I'd find out what day the treat was on and keep my child off. In fact I'd make sure I took them out for a treat that day. These inflexible rules are stupid. The kind of parents who don't send their kids to school won't care about a certificate or a treat it just penalises children with a health condition or one unlucky enough to catch a bug.

Trifleorbust · 22/04/2017 18:44

grannytomine:

You can be pretty sure of whatever you like. You don't know me so you have no basis for your assertion.

And I don't 'do them'. I work in a school that does. It isn't the same thing because I am not the Head.

grannytomine · 22/04/2017 19:02

So do you agree with them? Do any teachers ever raise the issue with the Head.

jellyfrizz · 22/04/2017 19:24

I raised it with our head and was told that like much of the other pointless paperwork shite it was something they had to be seen to be doing because OFSTED.

Trifleorbust · 22/04/2017 19:31

grannytomine:

I think there are arguments on both sides. But overall, yes, I think it is okay. If prizes are handed out for athletics, a physically disabled child isn't going to get that prize. I don't think we should ban prizes for athletics. If prizes are handed out for top performance in Maths, a child who is, sadly, as thick as a brickie's lunchbox isn't going to get that. It isn't the child's fault he/she isn't clever, so should we ban prizes for Maths? For some children, 100% attendance feels like a big achievement and helps them feel good about themselves. It is up to us as parents to manage any fall-out from that.

Gileswithachainsaw · 22/04/2017 19:36

But attendance is not an achievenent.its a legal requirement you have to be in school (unless you are we registered)

It's also something they have no choice or control over until they are old enough to walk themselves.

Acbt you reward a child for something that shows you actually know something about them?

Like their choice to be helpful or kind or make people laugh when they are upset.

Trifleorbust · 22/04/2017 19:39

Gileswithachainsaw:

I understand the arguments on both sides, as I say. But for some children (particularly those who don't really excel at many things) it is one of the few chances they have to be recognised. If my child was getting that upset because another child for a certificate or a prize and they didn't, I would see that as my issue to deal with as a parent.

Buffythesofasitter · 22/04/2017 19:45

I do think it's really unfair to reward children who are lucky enough not to be ill. DS has health problems and after a few days in hospital had to make a phased return to school. School sent me a letter the following week saying his attendance was too low!
I wrote back and told them I was sorry that my child nearly dying had impacted the attendance rate. Hmm

Gileswithachainsaw · 22/04/2017 19:48

But you don't have to excel that's the point.

I refuse to believe that a child has absolutely nothing going for them besides the fact they are present.

Not a single act of good or kind behaviour?

No breakthrough with handwriting?

No bravery or sportsmanship?

Did They not comfort a class mate or find the teachers keys?

Aren't people embarrassed to make it so clear that they can't find a single nice thing to say about a child or show that they don't even know who they are?

Trifleorbust · 22/04/2017 19:53

Gileswithachainsaw:

Of course there are other things you can praise. But children value their attendance certificates. I have no problem with them receiving them and I would tell my DD that worse things happen at sea and then distract her.

Gileswithachainsaw · 22/04/2017 19:59

Kids kept coke bottles with their name on of course they will value a certificate they received. Doesn't make it right though does it. Kids will also be supportive and happy for their friends for their achievements as working alongside them and chatting at lunch they will know how hard they worked for it. But of course with an attendance certificate they will if course realise where their talent or quality lies and keep working in that....oh wait...Hmm

boddtm · 22/04/2017 20:01

My daughter returned home from school the other week looking solemn. When I asked her why, she revealed that the proposed ‘treat’ for the last day of term had been rescinded, because the class - as a whole - had ‘failed’ to reach the attendance goal of 95%.

As a working parent, my mother occasionally takes my kids to school, and upon questioning my daughter about this new ‘attendance challenge’ on the drop off, she was saddened to hear a voice pipe up behind her claiming responsibility – at least in part- for the fact that their class had missed out on the treat. The ‘culprit’? A 10 year old chronic asthma sufferer.

As a fairly tough mum of three, I’ve tried to bring up my children to know the value of going to school regularly, and have shrugged off the kids’ moans of being ‘too tired for school’ or having a ‘tummy ache’ that disappears when their favourite foods are presented. However, I do feel that if I decide my child is too ill to attend school, that child should not be treated or made to feel like they’ve done something wrong on their return. There is something inherently wrong about this, and it needs to be addressed. The whole ‘punishing all for the actions of one’ approach seems like something out of the military to me, and not something that should be practiced when attempting to shape young minds.

Whilst attendance challenges, award schemes and competitions between years are one thing, punishing a child because they have had the misfortune to fall ill – or making them feel that they should carry on regardless for the sake of their classmates isn’t helping.

I know that my children’s school is not the only one trying to shore up attendance figures to make the government’s requirements, and am well aware that there are cases where absenteeism needs to be addressed, but I for one, will never understand the point of rewarding pupils’ good fortune in staying germ free, whilst other children are suffering from chronic illness and being punished for it.

Maireadplastic · 22/04/2017 20:05

They should simply post their full attendance certificates with their reports. They are this rewarded but not publicly and not at the expense of those who have been ill.

Maireadplastic · 22/04/2017 20:05

this not this

Maireadplastic · 22/04/2017 20:06

aaargh. Sorry for wasting your time: thus not this.

mumof3boys33 · 22/04/2017 20:07

Our secondary school give out a 100% attendance certificate at the end of the school year. My older 2 only usually have a couple of days off a year. But has to be 100%
When middle son was at primary school he did 2 full years without a day off, the following year they handed certificates out for 100% and he'd had one off that year. Then the year after they stopped giving them again and he'd been the whole year. Typical. The school never re started. . My youngest still at the school will never get 100% attendance as he has to have a check up twice a year at hospital. It's always on a school day.