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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

100% attendance

310 replies

AgainstTheOddsNo2 · 21/04/2017 06:43

My daughter has just been sick and is currently devastated and not talking to me because I said she will have to stay home from school and lose her 100% attendance.

Fuck that prize!

OP posts:
skerrywind · 22/04/2017 08:01

Good for you trifle.

I guess us mums with chronically ill kids just would never think of those things.

Trifleorbust · 22/04/2017 08:03

skerrywind:

I'm just sharing my thoughts on what I would do and think.

skerrywind · 22/04/2017 08:06

Yes because it's so easy to imagine yourself in that position and give advice.

I am sure you wouldn't be so "delicate".

Nutterfly · 22/04/2017 08:06

Our school does it too and I don't like it. It penalises children for being ill which is awful. If they have concerns about attendance for non-ill reasons, then there are better ways to approach it.
Even the healthiest child gets the occasional dose of flu or chicken pox. And it's even worse for the poor little ones with health problems. Bad enough that they feel ill frequently, but then to be penalised for something they can't help? Awful.
Like other pp have said, it's a reward for good luck.

Trifleorbust · 22/04/2017 08:10

skerrywind:

Eh? This whole area of MN is predicated on people giving their opinion on what is reasonable. I did just that. Confused

youarenotkiddingme · 22/04/2017 08:24

The certificates are actually discriminatory imo.

It's like

"Congratulations on not having a long term health condition (asthma/diabetes/epilepsy/allergies) or some kind of disability and being able to make it to school daily. Because you already don't have a daily struggle or routine to manage these conditions you can have a prize and certificate"

I'd rather see the children who make school despite what's going on outside of it rewarded.

I'm sure little Harry who is a young carer and makes everyday except when he had chicken pox is far more deserving of an award than a child who's just managed to avoid any germs for 15 weeks!

grasspigeons · 22/04/2017 09:10

I'm so glad my childrens school doesn't do this.

CloudPerson · 22/04/2017 11:35

If I had a child who had no SN and was able to fit the criteria of this award, even if just by luck, it wouldn't bother me at all, I wouldn't get worked up about it.
As it is, there are so many things about school when it comes to DC with SN that means it is unfair on them, sets them up to fail and feel even more crap about themselves, that an attendance award that they are pretty much ruled out of from the start, is one more thing to add to the list.

MommaGee · 22/04/2017 11:47

trifle in sure sKerry has figured out she can talk to her own child and explain but said child was 6. Sometimes now matter what you say, the fact that everyone else gets to stand up and be applauded and told how great they are is going to hurt a child. It doesbt matter that mommy think they're great and bought them a toy because the other kid has a certificate and got clapped and keeps showing it you. Children can be insensitive and nor very resilient and a bit fragile and seeing your child hurting can make you not very resilient and a bit fragile. Its great you'd sit there unmoved by it then tell your child to suck it up bit when its just one more thing where your child is excluded, not good enough, left on the side it starts to rub ESPECIALLY for something so stupid

MommaGee · 22/04/2017 11:48

Apologies for the typos

Lndnmummy · 22/04/2017 12:17

I hate this shit. My son was upset as he was off school one day last term with scarlet fever. If there were such nonsense as bouncy castles and ice cream he would not be going to school that day. It is nonsense

Tobolsk · 22/04/2017 12:20

We had this at my middle school in 1996, I won it......then was beaten up in the changing rooms for being nerdy

skerrywind · 22/04/2017 12:53

Thankyou mommagee.

Original poster
AgainstTheOddsNo2 · 22/04/2017 13:42

Perfectly worded mommagee

OP posts:
MommaGee · 22/04/2017 14:07

I will be asking DS's future school if they engage in this crap then making sure were out that day. There's no way we'll ever make 100% between consultants appointments

Trifleorbust · 22/04/2017 14:25

MommaGee:

You can feel any way you like. I can't get that worked up about this. That's my prerogative.

NoHaudinMaWheest · 22/04/2017 14:28

OFSTED and therefore schools like to push attendance because it is easy to measure. However it is never a issue in itself - it is always a symptom of something else.

For some children it is a consequence of their chronic health problems or disability. Schools (and OFSTED) need to recognise that this is going to be the case whatever they do about it. They can help a little by ensuring that these pupils have good support in school so that their absence is reduced as much as possible.

For all children there will be times when they have one off illnesses. As schools are crowded environments these will be more common than in the general population. So again the authorities need to recognise this reality. Encouraging staff and pupils to stay off when they have an infectious illness and encouraging basic hygiene in schools will help a bit but children are still going to get ill.

The most problematic absences come from issues that are much more difficult to tackle. There are parents with multiple issues which mean that school attendance is not given much priority. There are families where education is not seen as very important. Especially for older students, there are those who are disaffected with school education.
Solving these problems is difficult, intensive, expensive and involves agencies outside school. They can never be solved by any kind of certificate or treat or in fact by fines and sanctions.

Cammysmoma · 22/04/2017 14:33

Awww bless her! 100% attendance at this point in school term is amazing anyway.. you're doing the right thing, health before a silly certificate.

MommaGee · 22/04/2017 14:37

Of course its your perogative butvthrn so it bring dismissive and unempathetic.

Obviously she can't help being ill but this is just one of those things.
How many weeks have you spent with your child in hospital? How many operations? How many missed parties or other fun? How much does your child not get to do because of long term chronic illness. Chicken pox or vomits is one of those things. Months in hospitals, dozens of hospital visits per month not so much.

Then we would move on.II wouldn't be a sobbing mess over it you wouldn't but she might when little Johnny kicks her cos she lost them the chocolate fountain or Jessica goes on all day about her certificate or when she's sat inside with the teacher and everyone gets the bouncy castle and ice cream. She might not move on because you tell her too havING your daughter crying in your arms because she's excluded again might bother you more than you think. No one is saying that any parent would be a blubbering mess but it doesn't make you fragile to feel your child's pain

MycatsaPirate · 22/04/2017 14:38

It's a grossly unfair system.

My DD got a ridiculously high attendance last year, something like 98.5% but she had had a hospital appointment which meant most of a day missed (appointment at lunchtime) and then managed to throw up in class one day and ended up missing two and a half days.

Both of these things are outwith anyone's control. The hospital appointment was not moveable, they are so busy that we have had to wait a year for a follow up. And I presume she caught the sickness bug in school because none of us were ill.

Does make a mockery of the system really. There are kids who have regular hospital appointments, compromised immune systems and yet their attendance is as high as it can possibly be despite maybe battling a chronic illness. One of my friends DD's has cystic fibrosis and she regularly gets sent letters about low attendance despite the school knowing that a) the girl has cf and b) the girl has actually been in hospital when she was off as she was so ill.

StillHungryy · 22/04/2017 14:51

In my school it wasn't even just a certificate, it was, ironically, an afternoon off school to go ice skating

Trifleorbust · 22/04/2017 15:08

MommaGee:

We have different opinions. I don't think we need to argue about what experiences I have or haven't had. I am not trying to force my opinion on anyone else, just stating my own view.

Gooseygoosey12345 · 22/04/2017 15:17

I think it's bs that kids almost get punished for being off sick. My daughter doesn't go if she's not well, health is more important. They can keep their 100% prizes and we'll keep doing our "great effort" prizes at home :)

skerrywind · 22/04/2017 15:58

mommagee-

trifle is being totally insensitive and dismissive.

She is in the "I'm all right jack" position.

Same kind who can't get worked up about social exclusion or any number of unfair things that happen- as long as they don't involve her she "can't get worked up " about them.

Because she lacks empathy in that cozy bubble.

Trifleorbust · 22/04/2017 16:07

skerrywind:

I get very worked up about social exclusion. That's why I choose to work in a Special Measures comprehensive with maximum legal teaching hours and fucking massive, gnarly classes of bolshy teenagers gurning at me all day: I care.

Certificates, not so much. Sorry that bothers you so much that you feel the need to project all over me.

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