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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To be annoyed at this teacher regarding parents evening?

221 replies

Blownspeakersandvolcanos · 20/04/2017 20:47

My dd is is in year 9 and had a parents evening tonight which she came along to.

When it was our turn to approach her art teacher, he had to ask dd what her name was again.

There was an instance in his class where she asked him for a fresh piece of paper and he had a go at her because he had assumed she had come in from the classroom next door and should have therefore asked her teacher Hmm

I get in secondary school that you obviously teach many children, but he also taught her during year 7 too.

I just didn't want to listen to his report on her because he doesn't seem to have a clue who she was!

OP posts:
TotalPineapple · 21/04/2017 11:58

It's probably different now but at school we had one Art teacher for 1200 students, granted most of the top two years didn't do Art so call it 800. We did it on rotation so they only saw us for half of each term.

Imagine remembering 800 students' names - madness.

I'm starting teacher training in September and the remembering names thing is probably the thing I'm most worried about!

Kennethwasmyfriend · 21/04/2017 12:02

You can know someone pretty well and not remember their name. I have adult acquaintances I've chatted too once a week for years and have no idea what their name is - know all about their health, holiday plans etc.

HighwayDragon1 · 21/04/2017 12:03

The curse of the forgotten middle majority, it happens, it shouldn't but it does.

SecretNortherner · 21/04/2017 12:12

I went to a secondary school of over 1500 kids, I can't remember a single instance of when a teacher didn't know someone's name in the class. Most teachers you only saw ones a week for an hour. If it was the first term I could understand getting names wrong etc, but to not have a clue when the year is almost over is horrific.
I would speak to her head of year.

Iggi999 · 21/04/2017 12:15

Edwinbear you are being incredibly reasonable Smile
Secretnortherner what a nasty thing to suggest. I hope you are 100% perfect at your job every single day of your life.

TalkingofMichaelAngel0 · 21/04/2017 12:21

leccy im 12 years at my achool
And dont know about a quarter of staf names. I stopped bothering years ago as the turn over got so high!

TalkingofMichaelAngel0 · 21/04/2017 12:28

lizzie i also teach a non-core subject and we have a 6 period day. It is probably not your maths that is the issue, but a lack of understanding of the current edication system in the uk.

Giving out new books to students this time of year results on frequently being asked 'miss, what's your name?'

befuddledgardener · 21/04/2017 12:32

It must be blooming hard remembering everyone's name. 300 or 400 kids!

loverlybunchofcoconuts · 21/04/2017 12:35

Forgetting a name is not unforgiveable, it happens, the problem is the making up stuff to pretend you know the person (again, in any job, this is not a dig at teachers).
I've had a teacher comment that my DC may get a C at GCSE, if he tries hard (yr10); I asked what he can do to improve (he's generally v bright, doing well in other subjects, had done well in this one until this year..).
She says 'it's too early to say really'; I try another tack, with what is he doing that's pulling his work down?, its also too early to comment on that...
..then she mentions that his skills on instrument are not the problem... but names an instrument he doesn't play. I politely correct her on what he plays.. she asks if I have any other questions, I say no and leave.
This was a parent being very polite and patient, to avoid embarrassment, with a teacher who doesn't know the child, or anything about their work, and is spouting complete gibberish. The professional thing to do would be to admit that it was early in the year, ask his name, and LOOK in the list of marks she had in front of her.
The reason parents get bothered about this kind of behaviour, to spell it out, is that it doesn't suggest the teacher is making big efforts to give correct information, and is guessing rather than look up the facts; hopefully, the teacher has a completely different strategy in class, but the parent cannot know that, so they worry about the quality of teaching that teacher may provide.

youarenotkiddingme · 21/04/2017 12:44

I think perhaps I should be worried that none of DS teachers seem to struggle to know who he is Blush

TheZeppo · 21/04/2017 12:47

Okay, my chest tips for parents evening:

  1. take their class books down. Split into boy/girl piles. When boy student sits down who you don't know, hand him the 'boy' pile whilst you rummage through the girl pile. He (obviously) finds it, hands it over. Ta'da.

  2. throw the timings list at said child and ask them to tick their name off. Watch as they do, whilst having general chit-chat with parents.

Raspberry I love it when parents say who their child is!

Edwin fair play for changing your view!

I feel an urge to say I do KNOW my kids, but it's so true that if they aren't in their seat/ uniform your mind can go blank! Smile

user1491148352 · 21/04/2017 12:50

At DC school parents evenings all teachers have a book which contains the name of each child and the marks given for each piece of classwork, homework, test etc throughout the year. So easy to see if a child is a regular A, B or C student or whether marks fluctuate or whether they failed to produce any homework or produced it late at certain times.
I think if you teach a lot of students, remembering all their names instantly is a big ask.

cricketballs · 21/04/2017 12:50

Zeppo I have to do 1!

ijustwantfiveminutespeace · 21/04/2017 12:52

Did he not have a list of who he was seeing for parents meeting with child's name on it? I thought all teachers did that?

leccybill · 21/04/2017 13:13

Without seating plans, I'm terrible at remembering names. It can take me upto a term.

Do any other teachers do that thing where a colleague comes in at the end of the day and asks about a particular pupil and you look at the empty space where they sit?!

user1489179512 · 21/04/2017 13:15

No.

RaspberryIce · 21/04/2017 13:17

I think at the parent info evenings the teachers who referred to each other as Sir to the parents were Senior Leadership people who'd been there a while so I think they'd know each others' names and it was just force of habit. I found it slightly amusing but wasn't annoyed by it or anything. Smile

user1489179512 · 21/04/2017 13:18

Getting to know the names of your students is not an option. If some teachers really feel they need a seating plan, then the least they can do is have it in front of them at all times.Hmm

When dealing with parents, the very least they expect us that you actually know their child's name.

Iggi999 · 21/04/2017 13:18

Zeppo I love those ideas, just hope the parents aren't reading this thread or they will know what we are doing!

KittyVonCatsington · 21/04/2017 13:22

SecretNortherner

In lessons, with pupils sitting in their correct seats and my seating plan subtly on my desk-I can call every student by name. I am sure those students think I know them all (that's the point of a seating plan and using names in lessons as a courtesy and behaviour technique)

Doesn't mean I will know them in the corridor or if they just arrive to class etc.

I don't believe in your entire time at school, no teacher or pupil ever got a name wrong-whether it was a slip of the tongue or just forgetting. It happens in every day life you know - not just in school!

Rose tinted spectacles methinks.

leccybill · 21/04/2017 13:24

How do you initially get to know the names of new students in Sept without a seating plan?

I'm specifically talking secondary here, where you see upwards of 100 students each day.

TheZeppo · 21/04/2017 13:26

leccybill yep!

One of my favourite parts of parents evenings is where you suddenly spot sibling connections that you'd never known before Smile

RaspberryIce · 21/04/2017 13:26

My high school was half the size of dd's and the staff was far smaller so I couldn't compare. We sat where we liked but i remember someone seeing notes a teacher had made with names and physical features to identify them. I think my description was about my 80s perm! Grin

user1489179512 · 21/04/2017 13:27

...is that

TheZeppo · 21/04/2017 13:27

I swear I learn names by osmosis 😂I go from knowing 2 to all 35 seemingly randomly!