to resent the lack of time I get with my DC?

[Hoptastic53]

I have three, soon to be four DC. They are 2, 6 and 8. I recently went part time because of childcare difficulties due to DP working unpredictable hours. I was looking forward to having more time with the DC but I still feel like I hardly get any quality time with them.

Yesterday, for example:

7 - I get up, make packed lunches, shower, feed dogs.

7.35 - wake DC, get 2 yo dressed and ready, then begin the battle to persuade school hating 6 yo to get ready.

8.10 - downstairs to breakfast
8.30-9.10 - walk to school and back
9.30-11 - toddler group
11.15 - 12 - food shopping
12.15-1.15 - put shopping away and lunch
1.15 - 1.30 - stories with DD
1.30 - 2.15 - walk DD to sleep while walking dogs
2.15 - 3 - hang washing out, hoover, tidy while DD sleeps in pushchair
3-3.40 - walk to school and back
3.40 - 4 - get kids snacks and unpack bags
4.10 - leave to collect DD from after school club
4.30 - dentist appointments for DCs
5.00 - exercise dogs while DCs play at park
6 - arrive home and Cook tea
6.30 - 7.15 - eat tea and wash up
7.15 - 7.45 - get washing in and put away, get uniforms ready for the next day
7.45 - 8.15 - get all DCs showered
8.15 -8.35 - bedtime stories
9 - all DC asleep

This is typical of a day though 9 was actually an earlier bedtime than usual. So in total I probably had half hour quality time with my two year old during the entire day, and none with the older ones. Yes, I see them more but I'm always busy and never have time to just focus on them like I want to. DP thinks I'm lucky to be part time but actually he probably gets more time with them even though he's full time. Am I really badly organised or do other people find they have little quality time with their DCs?

[limon]

Guilt is useless and saps the joy our of life. Ditch it.

[Babyroobs]

To be honest it's bound to be like this with 3 small children. Three kids is three times the work - washing, bathing etc.
I have 4 teenagers and it's still the same ,4 parents evenings, 4 lots f helping with homework, 4 x the worry etc !!

[chocolatesavedmysanity]

I would def sack to dogs... you have more than enough to get on with. Maybe re-home them?

[Scottishchick39]

I've only got two kids, work 4 days a week and wish I had as much time with my kids as you do!

[user1492528619]

Mum guilt is the most natural thing in the world. If your children are not suffering then continue as is. We all want for more, but you have a very good set up in comparison to most.

I know so many Mums who work 10 hour days minimum and see their kids maybe an hour a day, the rest of the time they are at child minder's. Seeing them is still spending quality time, just enjoy what you have together and as hard as it is try not to take what you have for granted.

[user1492528619]

Also, as some have suggested please do not get rid of your dogs. They haven't done anything wrong and to look at rehoming them for the sake of an extra hour a day of family time is just irresponsible.

[NotOneThingButAnother]

user I think the OP is just politely ignoring those posters saying get rid of her dogs (smile and nod!) and rightly so. I think they are the same people saying she shouldn't have had so many kids, suck it up etc!

[XsaraHale]

mummabearfoyrbabybears I think you have the right idea/attitude... I work on call 24/7 really, I have DC 4 and 1, the time I get to spend with them...while cooking, talk about their ( well 4yo ) day and sing nursery rhymes while cleaning, maybe that is not 'quality time' for some but I don't think I could 'schedule ' time with children, so cherish what I get!
I recently spent 3days away working so getting 15 minutes to read stories is time to enjoy your bond with your DC

[user1491572121]

You get plenty of time. Toddler group is quality time as is park with your children.

You could really piss some people off with this post as you get more than most.

[Darlink]

Ditch the dogs. Seriously, why would you have dogs as well as 3 kids and a pregnancy.?

[FeliciaJollygoodfellow]

I have no idea what the problem is and what suggestions you want?

If you want to do more stuff with them then cancel the club stuff and I dunno, so crafts or something with them? Don't put DD in after school club?

You don't mention weekends - what do you do then? I'm sure you know that once the new baby comes you'll have even less free time.

I agree with Haggis. Guilt is a useless emotion, especially when you're feeling guilt about something that the other people concerned are completely oblivious about.

[Absofrigginlootly]

OP have a read of the book Simplicity Parenting, it may give you some useful ideas

[Mysterycat23]

Get rid of the dogs, ffs, what sort of advice is that?! OP well done on being committed to properly exercising your dogs and being a responsible pet owner.

It struck me there's no mention of your DP. He works shifts but surely some days he's doing some of the tasks and taking his fair share of the load, as well as spending quality time with the DC? Is resentment part of the issue because he gets to spend time with DC without having any other tasks to do?

[FreeNiki]

Toddler group isn't really quality time with DD as she is sociable and goes off to play

I didnt know toddler group was mandatory

Dont take her and play with her at home.

Resentful of the lack of time?!

One of my colleagues had to come back to work full time after her children as they couldn't afford mortgage and living expenses on one salary.

5 days a week, 9am-5:30pm. Leave an hour before and after for London commutes and she was out the house 8am-6:30pm whilst her mother had the children.

but you dont think you have enough time with your children?

ok.......

[BastardBloodAndSand]

It's called life. We're all living it and it's all very normal. Plan a nice day out or something if you want a break from the norm.

[HeartsTrumpDiamonds]

Are you sure you are feeling guilty and not wistful? Maybe you had a rose-tinted view of how life would be when you went part time but the reality is different. Your kids don't appear to mind though so you don't need to be feeling guilty on their behalf.

[OlennasWimple]

Your DC go to bed at 9pm or later??

[kmc1111]

Jesus. The people saying 'ditch the dogs' like it's nothing revolt me.

OP your daily schedule sounds completely normal and not especially rushed. Just try and get out of the mindset that quality time has to be something special and not part of other daily tasks. You have loads of opportunities for quality time if you make the most of them.

[Coastalcommand]

Keep the dogs! They have done nothing wrong!

[Terfinator]

Yeah op, when you get up tomorrow just take the dogs to a ditch by the side of the motorway and leave them there to starve. The kids will thank you when you're older!

[Iwasjustabouttosaythat]

Agree with hearts. Being a SAHM is actually really hard and constant work but the trade off is that you do get to be with your kids, even if that time is spent partially carting them around.

I find one of my favourite times is actually driving places. Everyone is calm and happy and we have some really nice chats.

I have baby twins and a 3yo and some days just feel like changing nappies and getting the next meal and that is it. Most days we get some nice time though.

I get shopping delivered and I save washing and dishes for the end of the day when the kids are in bed.

I think 9 (or later) is way too late for your kids to be getting to bed. Get them in bed earlier, get the work done in the space of an hour and relax/get ready for the next day.

You should get a lovely chunk of time over/after dinner if you don't waste it doing the dishes immediately.

Walking the dogs should be lovely time out at the park together. Is that the only way the toddler will sleep? If not use that dog walking time as awake and fun time. Of it needs to be that way then fair enough.

Oh but stop having kids. You think it's hard now? You won't have any time whatsoever with a screaming baby. And a jealous toddler. Maybe you should look at getting a nanny for a few hours? And get a cleaner just for bathrooms and floors!

[pardrej]

So why are you having another one.. ? I am one of four and grew up desperate for 1:1 which I never got.

[Piratesandpants]

Can you define quality time? For me, the walk to school with the children is quality time, we chat etc. Toddler group is quality time as it's an activity for and with the child. It's difficult to take you seriously if you're in the process of adding another child to the situation - why would you do that if you were really unhappy with the situation? Your schedule is perfectly normal. What would your ideal day look like?

[skerrywind]

It think it goes with the territory if you choose 4 kids and dogs.

Not sure what advice you want OP.
I chose a smaller family, no dogs, managed in a small house, as a result didn't have to spend so much, didn't need to work when the kids were young, spent loads of time with them.

Life choices.

[Aldilogue]

I think if we all documented exactly what most of us do in our day it would look like that. It doesn't look that unusual.
Sounds like your having/ had a crappy day and you're feeling overwhelmed.
Life won't always be so busy when the kids are older.
Keep the dogs, dogs are part of the family too but maybe find a teenager to walk them so they can earn some extra cash. If you are walking them because you enjoy it, then don't complain about it.