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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Welsh wedding invitation.

653 replies

Spikeyplant · 18/04/2017 22:39

Just as it says in the title really.

My DH has a significantly younger relative who is getting married this summer. We have just received an invitation to the wedding, written entirely in Welsh. Neither DH or I speak Welsh and the bride and groom are well aware of this.

I am totally cool with somebody who grew up in a Welsh first language family wanting to celebrate their wedding in their language. However I can't help feeling it is a bit rude to send out invitations in a language many guests can't understand without even a short note in a mutually spoken language.

AIBU?

OP posts:
hula008 · 19/04/2017 07:56

You can use the google translate app to take a picture and it should translate it. I think it's a really cool idea.

Gwenhwyfar · 19/04/2017 08:02

"So Greatfuckability, you would invite a guest who can only understand one of the languages you speak to your house and speak exclusively in the language that you know that can't? And you think that would be OK? Really?"

In my family it's like that. If someone visits who can't speak Welsh we would speak to that person in English, but still speak to each other in Welsh. It would be very difficult to change the language we use to speak to each other and anyone who comes to see us knows we are a Welsh speaking family.

Catsize · 19/04/2017 08:03

I'm pretty sure you won't need the code breaking skills of Alan Turing to work this one out OP.

ShatnersWig · 19/04/2017 08:07

The courteous thing would have been to have printed the invitations in both Welsh and English, surely, be that on the one side together or Welsh on the one side and English on the other? If you want people to attend something, you invite them in a way that they will understand. I'd love to hear the service in Welsh once I was there, but to do that, I need to know where and when it is first. Most road signs in Wales are in both languages.

welshweasel · 19/04/2017 08:08

Mountain out of a molehill? Assuming you actually like these people just give them a ring. Thank them for their invitation (insert some pleasantries about how pretty the invites look etc) and ask if you can just check the details as your Welsh isn't brilliant. I've been to many weddings around the world, the invites have always been in the brides mother tongue (my brother even had invites in his wife's language). Only Brits would take offence at this and expect every other bugger to cater for their linguistic inadequacies.

And on the Welsh front, I worked in North West Wales for a while. Everyone spoke Welsh. In the pub, in the shop, at work (although there the first language was Welsh and second Hindi, English third by a mile), everyone always assumed I could speak Welsh. All the kids were educated in Welsh speaking schools. I didn't take offence, why would I?

Madwoman5 · 19/04/2017 08:15

Use google to translate and then compile your response in welsh. If it is sent under duress, that'll throw it right back at them. If, as I suspect, it was posted and then they had an oh shit moment, it shows good form and humour. P.s. find some really long, complex words for your response that will make them google your response!

peukpokicuzo · 19/04/2017 08:16

If I had a Spanish relative living in Spain who was getting married I would expect that the invitation would be in Spanish and wouldn't expect them to print English for my sake.

I suspect the Welsh invitations are performing an important task. The couple getting married want the ceremony and celebrations to be Welsh in language and character and culture. They are happy to invite English-speaking friends and relatives but only want them there if they are happy to engage with the event entirely in Welsh medium without any translations into English. They are hoping that anyone who can't cope with such a position will politely decline.

miwelaisjacydo · 19/04/2017 08:19

Spikey I will translate it if you want but be aware that the whole thing will prob be very Welsh.

miwelaisjacydo · 19/04/2017 08:21

Oh also don't rely on google translate because it's usually not correct.

glueandstick · 19/04/2017 08:27

It's rude. You wouldn't be jnviting someone you couldn't converse with so why send the invitation that deliberately excludes someone.

A little note saying 'can't wait to see you at x y z on such a date' a few basic details and all is good.

If you were invited by an English speaking French couple and you spoke no French then a little translation would be nice. It's unlikely you'd have a friendship with a French couple who spoke no English if you spoke no French.

Bromeliad · 19/04/2017 08:28

I'm getting married this summer, my fiancé is German. There are all of six people invited who don't speak any English, but because they can't our invites are bilingual. It took all of three minutes to sort out.

So yes, it's rude.

margaritasbythesea · 19/04/2017 08:32

What peukpokicuzo said.

It is also entirely possible it is an oversight or error. A slip of paper with a translation fell out, maybe?

When I married my Spanish husband in England the ceremony was entirely in English. The vicar didn't speak Spanish. No one thought it should not be. The Spanish people who could not understand English sat and listened politely because they wanted to see us get married. Why should Welsh be different?

We did have two invitations, one in English one in Spanish, and both languages were spoken afterwards, but I can easily see how an English invitation could have been put in a Spanish envelope by mistake.

cowssheephens · 19/04/2017 08:47

We did this! Most of our guests were first language Welsh, and it would cost us more to have two lots of invites written. Technically it would have been two orders.

TBH there is isn't much you need to translate. Enjoy the novelty value.

Us welshies are so naughty for talking and writing in Welsh.

Gwenhwyfar · 19/04/2017 08:51

"If you were invited by an English speaking French couple and you spoke no French then a little translation would be nice. "

Would you really need a translation of something like "Nous avons le plaisir de vous inviter au mariage..." followed by details of location, date and time???

NightWanderer · 19/04/2017 08:54

You don't have to order English invitations. You can just print out a translation and pop it in the envelope. Wouldn't cost much at all.

TheCraicDealer · 19/04/2017 08:54

Someone I know would totally do this in Cornish, for shits and giggles. She wouldn't mean offence but she's passionate about her heritage and would love everyone exploring the language

That's wonderful, honestly- especially with Cornish! But if you're passionate about a minority language then it's nice to try to be inclusive and make it accessible for people, not make them go to Google translate for a dodgy translation. All this invite would say to me would be that the whole day (service, speeches, menu, program, small talk/guest interactions, directions for photos, etc) will be in Welsh. That is obviously entirely their right but it is not an attractive prospect for a guest who doesn't have a word or has a very basic understanding. And if you have any sort of social anxiety it would be even worse! It seems to me to be a lost opportunity to be inclusive and promote the language and culture to people who might have less than positive views, or no opinion at all about it.

Also there's plenty of other info on an invite aside from the names and date- location, dress code, the formalities of who's doing the inviting, what the score is re. food/drink, or [shock horror] if you're just invited to the evening as opposed to the whole day. A translation wouldn't need to be fancy- printing out the same info in English on a word doc, putting on the website if they have one, or just handwriting a note would've sent a more welcoming message than leaving people to puzzle it out.

Gwenhwyfar · 19/04/2017 08:55

"I suspect the Welsh invitations are performing an important task. The couple getting married want the ceremony and celebrations to be Welsh in language and character and culture. "

As I've said before, if the invitations were bilingual, it's likely OP would think the wedding would be bilingual as well and be annoyed when it turns out it's in Welsh.

nothercupoftea · 19/04/2017 08:57

Would you really need a translation of something like "Nous avons le plaisir de vous inviter au mariage..." followed by details of location, date and time???

yes, and because people are usually polite and kind, I have never received a foreign invitation that wasn't translated somehow.

In the last wedding I went to, in France as it happens, they had also translated the order of service/ the menus and translated some of the speeches (in a fun way, it sounds boring but it was lovely)

WelshMoth · 19/04/2017 08:57

OP, it's your call how you interpret this invite. Lots of possibilities here but it's your call essentially. No point us all waxing lyrical about what we'd do.

I'm also able to translate should you require. Also happy to translate an answer if you want to enter into the spirit of things.

Gwenhwyfar · 19/04/2017 09:00

"It seems to me to be a lost opportunity to be inclusive and promote the language and culture to people who might have less than positive views, or no opinion at all about it. "

The people getting married are not the Welsh Language Promotion to Ignorant People Board. They're just a couple getting married.

"Also there's plenty of other info on an invite aside from the names and date- location, dress code, the formalities of who's doing the inviting, what the score is re. food/drink, or [shock horror] if you're just invited to the evening as opposed to the whole day. "

Not all invitations have dress codes, I've never been given one and I understand what to wear for a wedding. Names of the people inviting isn't translated anyway, you will recognise either the bride's parents' names or the bride and groom. A location will be the name of a venue and of a town, again not things that really need to be translated.

Swynwraig · 19/04/2017 09:01

Welsh bride - 'I've had the invites printed - they look beautiful.'
Welsh groom - Yes, they look lovely'
Welsh bride - ' What if someone doesn't understand Welsh?'
Welsh groom 'Don't worry, cariad, they know us well enough to phone and ask'
Welsh bride 'I hope so - I would hate for this to be posted on mumsnet or something, saying we were being unreasonable for not printing it in English as well...'

Enko · 19/04/2017 09:02

I personally do not see a issue with it. We did very similar when we sent out our wedding invites. It was mostly in Danish but we had put " date" and "Place" in both Danish and English the rest was all in Danish,

Our friends all commented on how beautiful it was.

Gwenhwyfar · 19/04/2017 09:02

"Would you really need a translation of something like "Nous avons le plaisir de vous inviter au mariage..." followed by details of location, date and time???

yes"

Yes??? You don't understand the words 'plaisir', 'inviter' and 'mariage'? You're taking the p.

Babbaganush · 19/04/2017 09:04

Welsh person here.
It's highly likely that they intend to conduct the whole day in Welsh and the invitation is setting the tone and letting you know in advance, I think it would be worse to invite you in English to a totally Welsh speaking event - at least now you can make an informed decision.
My ex was fluent in Welsh, I only speak a little but understand more. I went to a Welsh ceremony and reception once and found it hard going and I was able to understand some of it.

Gwenhwyfar · 19/04/2017 09:05

" but we had put " date" and "Place" in both Danish and English the rest was all in Danish,"

That was kind of you. I'm sure it was obvious which was which though :)