Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To go swimming without shaving?

425 replies

ArriettyMatilda · 18/04/2017 21:10

I am not a regular shaver. It's time consuming, occasionally itchy during regrowth and I hate myself for feeling like I have to conform to society's expectations plus I'm lazy I really want to take dd swimming more regularly but I really can't be bothered with maintaining a smooth bikini line and legs.

I am well aware that I wouldn't even be asking this if I was a man, but I can't shake the feeling that someone will be disgusted by my hair. I'm so annoyed that I feel like I have to remove part of my body to become an acceptable member of society.

Would you judge me for having hairy legs and hair around my bikini line? If you don't like shaving what do you wear swimming?

OP posts:
Thread gallery
5
brassbrass · 19/04/2017 12:36

Yes Bertrand I would prefer it if they didn't. Can you accept that?

I also don't like hairy spiders.

gamerwidow · 19/04/2017 12:36

I forgot to shave before I took my Dd swimming last time.
I did have a moment of panic in the changing room but the options were go in hairy or go home so I went in hairy.
I doubt anyone noticed or cared.

AnUtterIdiot · 19/04/2017 12:39

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

BertrandRussell · 19/04/2017 12:43

"Yes Bertrand I would prefer it if they didn't. Can you accept that?"

Yes, I can accept that. I think it's bloody outrageous and you should keep it to yourself but I can accept it.

CouldOfHadItAll · 19/04/2017 12:53

Whether people notice or not really depends on what you mean by not shaving and how hairy you are. I haven't shaved my legs for about 10 years. My leg hair is black. Somebody earlier in the thread said leg hair is only visible close up. Absolutely not the case for me. People do notice. Some people are arseholes about it. I'm guessing somebody with blonde hair and three days regrowth gets a lot less shit for it.

brassbrass · 19/04/2017 12:53

lol ok

peaceloveandbiscuits · 19/04/2017 12:54

""Yes Bertrand I would prefer it if they didn't. Can you accept that?"

Yes, I can accept that. I think it's bloody outrageous and you should keep it to yourself but I can accept it."

So much this. Can you accept that some people don't care if you're exposed to and offended by their body hair? Good. Let's all get on with our swim and ignore each other.

brassbrass · 19/04/2017 12:55

you should keep it to yourself ironic

this can be applied on so many levels

brassbrass · 19/04/2017 12:56

I don't think I'd be a drama llama about it tbh. I'd probably go eeww and then carry on with whatever I was doing.

BertrandRussell · 19/04/2017 12:57

"you should keep it to yourself ironic

this can be applied on so many levels"

Yes, there are a lot of arseholes in the world.

brassbrass · 19/04/2017 12:58

so you've lost and now resorting to bun fight?

I think I've tried to get my point across like an adult Smile

ChaiTeaTaiChi · 19/04/2017 12:59

The fact that you can't accept that some people on this thread would prefer not to expose their own or have exposed to them other's people's pubes says more about you. It's a preference. Doesn't need to involve judgement or misogyny

You're not following your own logic. If we accept that you don't want to see other womens pubic hair, you need to have a reason why not. You need to have judged it unacceptable for some reason. You can't have a problem with it without a value judgement, its not possible.

But even if we simply accept you have a preference to not see that hair, the onus is on YOU to not look at it, not on other people to remove it for your comfort. If you have issues with other womens bodies, you should not go to places where you might see them in various states, like swimming pools.

You can absolutely prefer that you don't see pubic hair, leg hair, arm hair whatever. What you cannot do is tell the rest of the world that they have to change themselves to fit your preferences.

BertrandRussell · 19/04/2017 13:00

"think I've tried to get my point across like an adult smile"

What, by going eewww at a glimpse of pubic hair? Yes, incredibly adult........

brassbrass · 19/04/2017 13:06

Like I said you're being obtuse on purpose.

If I see a hairy spider I'll go eeww in the same way. I find it yukky there isn't anything more profound than that (or judgemental or mysogynistic) and you're stance isn't going to suddenly change anything for me.

I haven't said anyone should do anything different (RTFT) but I would prefer it if I didn't see it.

Try not to get so hysterical about it.

peaceloveandbiscuits · 19/04/2017 13:10

Are you twelve? What adult woman says "ewww" to another adult woman?

C8H10N4O2 · 19/04/2017 13:11

Crikey I've never given a thought to other pool users' pubes or felt the need to scan the crotches and legs of others.

Do people really go to a pool to check out the hair on other women? Those I see are either swimming or reading in the spectators gallery. I guess its possible that those spectators are the secret hair police with zoom lenses to capture the awful evidence.

ChaiTeaTaiChi · 19/04/2017 13:13

I find it yukky there isn't anything more profound than that (or judgemental or mysogynistic) and you're stance isn't going to suddenly change anything for me

so you're saying you have no insight at all as to why you react negatively to certain things, and you are uninterested in exploring that, so much so that you prefer to believe yourself so shallow that there isn't any actual reason?

And you call other people obtuse? Blimey.

WaitrosePigeon · 19/04/2017 13:13

I wouldn't notice, wouldn't care if I did and think you absolutely don't need to shave.

nothercupoftea · 19/04/2017 13:16

If your swimming garment doesn't cover your pubic hair and boobs, it's too small. Why would you want to look ridiculous? This attitude of some people trying to look as bad as possible will never cease to amaze me. "who cares, I've completely given up".

brassbrass · 19/04/2017 13:19

so you're saying you have no insight at all as to why you react negatively to certain things, and you are uninterested in exploring that, so much so that you prefer to believe yourself so shallow that there isn't any actual reason?

lol you're really on one aren't you? Have you analysed every reaction you've ever had. I doubt it. What a ridiculous thing to say. And yes obtuse if you can't fathom that human beings are capable of reactions like this. I used the spider analogy earlier. I don't know why I don't like them I just don't. Doesn't need to be classified. It's a reaction. Lots of people have them.

Funnyonion17 · 19/04/2017 13:23

If you don't want to shave, you really should wear bottoms that cover your pubes!

C8H10N4O2 · 19/04/2017 13:25

Why would you want to look ridiculous?

Having pubic hair is normal. Pretending it doesn't exist or is profoundly disgusting is not.

ChaiTeaTaiChi · 19/04/2017 13:25

Have you analysed every reaction you've ever had. I doubt it. What a ridiculous thing to say. And yes obtuse if you can't fathom that human beings are capable of reactions like this. I used the spider analogy earlier. I don't know why I don't like them I just don't. Doesn't need to be classified. It's a reaction. Lots of people have them

Yes, my brain does it automatically. It's called intelligence and self-awareness. It doesn't just happen, you don't just go "eww hair!" for absolutely no reason at all. All people have reactions, and all reactions come from somewhere.

No-one is so stupid to imagine that their fears and phobias and reactions just arise out of the clear blue, are they? That they are independent of anything else? Hmm

ChaiTeaTaiChi · 19/04/2017 13:26

If you don't want to shave, you really should wear bottoms that cover your pubes

Why should I? Give us a good reason, other than because you don't like it.

nothercupoftea · 19/04/2017 13:34

if you think that way C8H10N4O2 , why bother wearing a swimsuit or any clothes at all?

Many things are normal, natural, not embarrassing or shameful. It doesn't mean that they shouldn't be kept private.