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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To go swimming without shaving?

425 replies

ArriettyMatilda · 18/04/2017 21:10

I am not a regular shaver. It's time consuming, occasionally itchy during regrowth and I hate myself for feeling like I have to conform to society's expectations plus I'm lazy I really want to take dd swimming more regularly but I really can't be bothered with maintaining a smooth bikini line and legs.

I am well aware that I wouldn't even be asking this if I was a man, but I can't shake the feeling that someone will be disgusted by my hair. I'm so annoyed that I feel like I have to remove part of my body to become an acceptable member of society.

Would you judge me for having hairy legs and hair around my bikini line? If you don't like shaving what do you wear swimming?

OP posts:
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MasterOfDisguise · 19/04/2017 08:52

I went to a water park with the DC yesterday - very crowded. I would guess 10-15% of women were wearing shorts with their swimsuits so that's obviously a good choice for those who don't want to remove hair but are conscious of showing any escapees.

I will also say, I didn't notice at all whether anyone had hairy legs or not - I was busy having fun. I did notice people whose bosoms were falling out of their top (plenty of women squeezed into something not big enough to do the job) and I did notice one lady with pubic hair coming out the sides of her cossie but only because I was sat on a step at the pool edge & she walked out next to me meaning there was a crotch level view situation. I didn't care in the slightest, certainly didn't point or whisper to anyone else.

archersfan22 · 19/04/2017 09:03

Everything looks blurry to me in the swimming pool without my glasses so I'm concentrating on not falling over anything and definitely wouldn't notice any hair anywhere. I tend to forget that other people can actually see properly in the pool and this probably helps with not worrying about my own appearance!

TinDogTavern · 19/04/2017 09:19

I don't remove any body hair. I've just been swimming. Probably a few strays (although mine are mostly grey, but probably still visible to the penetrating eyes of the MN Pube Scrutineers on here). It has never, ever occurred to me that anyone might look, let alone judge. Disrespectful? WTF?

(I love you Ovaries and ChaiTea btw).

SomewhatIdiosyncratic · 19/04/2017 10:20

Back in the days when I could frequent lanes sessions, it was quite normal for women swimmers not to meticulously remove all visible body hair. Their focus was turning up, meeting their target and getting on with the day. I think that's rather empowering. Smile

It's sad that many women are deterred from putting on a swimming costume or other sportswear because of worry about how they look.

I tend to wear a shortie wetsuit when with the DCs for the warmth. It's quite nice that it's less to think about, but I'd still go in a standard cossie if body hair hadn't occured to me in advance anyway.

peaceloveandbiscuits · 19/04/2017 10:21

MN pube scrutineers GrinGrin

BertrandRussell · 19/04/2017 10:23

"can't shake the feeling that someone will be disgusted by my hair"

If they were, it would be very much their problem. Nobody worth a nano second's consideration would care a damn.

BertrandRussell · 19/04/2017 10:29

A quick tip for anyone who doesn't want to see an escaping pubic hair- don't look at other people's crotches.

ADisappearingDreamOfYesterday · 19/04/2017 10:37

I don't shave. All the hair stops me getting cold when I get out of the water Grin

Seriously, I don't swim anymore but I couldn't give a single fuck about my hair or anyone else's. It makes absolutely no difference to my life whatsoever.

It does make a difference to my life that so many women are conditioned to find body hair shameful so I do give a fuck about women who feel they have to conform to bullshit like this. So the more of us who are hairy in the pool, the better IMO.

Phoebefromfriends · 19/04/2017 10:51

I attend pole classes and I teach them and I honestly couldn't care less about body hair. You frequently spot people and have hands on them and I never judge them for not shaving. It's actually an ongoing joke that we are all hairy because you can't moisturise and pole so you end up hairy with dry legs, it's super glamorous. Regarding the bikini line I think a quick trim would be sufficient. No one is going to notice hairy legs in a pool.

BertrandRussell · 19/04/2017 10:54

One of the great triumphs of misogyny in recent years is the transformation of women's pubic hair from a perfectly normal secondary sexual characteristic of a mature human female to a disgusting, dirty, smelly unhygienic indicator of an absence of self respect.

brassbrass · 19/04/2017 10:55

I think some of you are missing the point. Pubes are private. On men and women. It's not about feminism. They're not a part of your body that needs to be displayed. You don't walk along the street with your pubes out so why do it in the swimming pool? Especially as it's easy to cover up with the assortment of swimming gear that's available.

And you don't need to be looking at anyone's crotch to see it. Sometimes as PP have mentioned it's difficult to avoid and obviously very visible.

Why are some of you so keen to inflict your pubes on strangers anyway? Grin

nether · 19/04/2017 10:58

My pubes have changed with the perimenopause.

I was very much of the 'stuff off, what's a few stray pubes' POV.

Until mine marched, black and obvious, about 3 inches down my thighs. It is noticeable. From a distance. Walk a mile with my pubes before saying it isn't.

Pistachiois50pmore · 19/04/2017 11:02

I can't believe people are suggesting you should basically wear a wetsuit! A normal swimming cossie that doesn't have Baywatch-style high cut legs will be fine. I just bought this and I can confirm all my pubic hair fits safely inside:
www.cosstores.com/gb/Women/Swimwear/Cross-over_swimsuit/46893-64578380.1#c-85348-img-6.

BertrandRussell · 19/04/2017 11:04

Why are pubes private but the skin they grow out of not?

brassbrass · 19/04/2017 11:05

well that's great for your pubes but did you read nether's post?

Pistachiois50pmore · 19/04/2017 11:05

But I would add, about the only rule I would insist people abide by in public pools is: "do you know to never, ever look at any of the other swimmers crotches?"

brassbrass · 19/04/2017 11:07

the skin pubes grow out of is equally private. What a stupid question.

Or are you suggesting women get their groins/labias out as well?

MysweetAudrina · 19/04/2017 11:08

I love seeing women out and about who don't feel the need to conform with the view that women need to look and act a certain way in order to meet the man made criteria of how a woman should look or act. How anyone could find pubic hair offensive is beyond me. I would shave my legs and bikini line if I had planned to go swimming but it wouldn't stop me going if I hadn't gotten round to doing it. Shitting or pissing in the pool is offensive but going in for a swim without shaving is nobody's business and does not affect anyone else's autonomy.

Lweji · 19/04/2017 11:11

I just bought this and I can confirm all my pubic hair fits safely inside:

Sadly, it wouldn't for some of us. Sad

Teabagtits · 19/04/2017 11:14

I'm quite disgusted that so many people are advocating spending more money on a swimming costume they deem appropriate because they don't want to see some pubes. Fuck that! Your body, your hair, wear it with pride. If people have issues with pubes stop looking at places pubes grow. Stop judging women for going with what nature gave them and stop shaming women for having hairs that almost all adult women possess. Grow the fuck up.

Go swimming op. Get a huge merkin/thigh mat and stroke gently as you walk around the pool.

AgentCooper · 19/04/2017 11:16

I am dark and hairy and swim every day - I trim the pubes a bit but mostly they just tuck in to my costume. I haven't shaved my legs in weeks, though - I'm pregnant and when I get in the shower in the morning I don't want to hang about there in case I get faint (pre-breakfast and heat). Then I have my second shower at the pool at night and don't really think standing there and shaving my legs would be welcomed!

So I've got a bit of a pelt from the thighs down if you look close enough but I don't get funny looks. I love my swim and would never miss it due to feeling too hairy.

Crapuccino · 19/04/2017 11:17

Pistachiois50pmore: I just bought this and I can confirm all my pubic hair fits safely inside:

HA! Not in a million years for me. And not for plenty of women.

stopfuckingshoutingatme · 19/04/2017 11:17

My body hair grows where it grows and anyone disgusted by it is suffering from massive internalised misogyny and shouldn't be pandered to

ok!!!! Grin

what about me not wanting to see mens pubes? is that misandry?

MrsChopper · 19/04/2017 11:18

You do you, OP. Never mind what everyone else thinks!

ChaiTeaTaiChi · 19/04/2017 11:18

Would you feel the same if a man wore skimpy speedos in the pool, with his pubic hair hanging out of the sides?

I'd feel exactly the same. First of all I wouldn't notice since I don't sit around the pool staring at mens speedos, but if I did I would think nothing of it. Humans have hair in various places, if you are shocked and appalled by this you need a)biology lessons and b)a life.

But lets not pretend for a minute we are talking about men and their hair. We are talking about women and how inherently filthy they are seen to be, with their gross unhygenic hair and their bleeding and all that disgusting stuff, aren't we?

Well, those of us who have overcome that internalised widespread misogyny aren't. The rest of you need to make a bit more effort, and stop repeating the notion that women in their natural state are not to be seen in public.