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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To go swimming without shaving?

425 replies

ArriettyMatilda · 18/04/2017 21:10

I am not a regular shaver. It's time consuming, occasionally itchy during regrowth and I hate myself for feeling like I have to conform to society's expectations plus I'm lazy I really want to take dd swimming more regularly but I really can't be bothered with maintaining a smooth bikini line and legs.

I am well aware that I wouldn't even be asking this if I was a man, but I can't shake the feeling that someone will be disgusted by my hair. I'm so annoyed that I feel like I have to remove part of my body to become an acceptable member of society.

Would you judge me for having hairy legs and hair around my bikini line? If you don't like shaving what do you wear swimming?

OP posts:
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PuffinNose · 19/04/2017 22:35

www.mirror.co.uk/news/real-life-stories/fitness-blogger-who-hasnt-shaved-10236272
Hangs head in shame that this links to The Mirror but this woman has been called "brave" and "couragious" for not shaving. She has also been called "lazy" for not taking care of herself (did they not read what she does?) and "gross", because y'know body hair on women is disgusting.
It is ridiculous that it is even an issue. Shave/not shave. It has no impact on anyone other than the individual. I see some really, really awful tattoos when I go swimming. How is an offensive tattoo acceptable when a person's normal "as is" body isn't?
Plus, it's my body. It's really quite simple. Even if I wanted to go full on Smack The Pony styling, still my body.
You might think it's disgusting and you're welcome to but that doesn't mean you can tell me to cover up. It isn't about you.
Like the tattoos, you'll just have to not look.

TheDowagerCuntess · 20/04/2017 02:46

I'm also a slave to the patriarchy when it comes to body hair, although I refuse to wax, or remove it in anyway that is painful. I honestly find the idea of waxing mind-boggling. I'm not particularly hirsute though, so am lucky that shaving and trimming gets me by just fine.

I do think people who don't remove their hair are 'brave', and have been throughly socialised to find stray pubes spilling from swimsuits a bit grim - can't say I have EVER actually seen it though!

Crazy, when you think about it. It's just hair. FFS.

tillytown · 20/04/2017 06:10

Do whatever makes you feel happy and comfortable, because in all honesty I, like most of my friends, are too consumed with paranoia about what other people are thinking about us to notice anyone else.

Coastalcommand · 20/04/2017 06:17

Let it all hang out. I won't notice or care. Plus I'm slightly short sighted and don't wear my glasses in the pool, so things have a pleasing blur effect, much like Instagram.

nannybeach · 20/04/2017 08:08

Depends how hairy you are of course. I went from very fine blond body hair, to with the menopause with thick long dark hair, which I hated, involved years of daily shaving legs,bikini line, under arms, plucking eyebrows, and root re-touch weekly, I was just used to it, was just part of shower routine, didnt take 5 minutes. I also wouldnt particularly want to see anyone elses pubes in public.I have had VERY hair friends who dont worry, or just keep the body hair as a statement.

Increasinglymiddleaged · 20/04/2017 09:44

Oh shite nanny I read recently that the menopause led to less hair. I was hoping for a reduction in my awful long thick black hair as a trade off for getting old Angry. You have ruined my day Grin

temporarynamech · 20/04/2017 10:02

Oh you are all so lucky if those short leg swimsuits cover your pubes!!
In answer to your Q YANBU it's all down to how you feel. I would probably want to high five you if I saw you at the pool with hairy legs and pubes poking out (don't worry, I wouldn't!) but I wouldn't actually have the balls to do it myself, because I would personally feel too self conscious. I would be more conscious of the pubes than the legs. How will you actually feel if you notice somebody staring, or pointing? Can you handle it?
Of course if you can just get a swimsuit to cover it up then you're fine!

Elendon · 20/04/2017 10:19

If I went swimming I wouldn't care less what hairs people have. I do own a bathing costume that is like a very short dress though as I prefer not to have a costume that goes half across my bottom.

I rarely shave anywhere anymore. I always hated shaving under my arms because of rashes. I have light coloured pubes though. I always admire people who don't shave and give an internal fist pump to them.

Go as nature intended and ignore those who are horrified with a few pubes sticking out from the costume.

I don't particularly like swimming though but do love to swim in the sea when the opportunity arises (though sadly with so much jellyfish around nowadays I tend to stay out of the water and prefer a lido instead - I've been stung by a jellyfish in the past and it's horrendously painful.)

BeMorePanda · 20/04/2017 14:41

I can't shake the feeling that someone will be disgusted by my hair.

But this is THEIR problem. If anyone is disgusted by your body hair, it really isn't your problem. You aren't responsible for the world.

Just go swimming and enjoy. Other peoples potential offence is NOT your your concern :)

Ontopofthesunset · 20/04/2017 17:11

But who would stare and point? Really, the thing people need to remember, particularly younger people, is that we are all mostly entirely self-obsessed. Very few people will notice as they are too busy worrying about their own pubes or cellulite or children. If anyone does notice, you probably won't notice them noticing you as you are so busy worrying about the above. In the vanishingly unlikely event that anyone else a) notices b) gives a flying fuck about your hairy legs or a couple of stray pubes and c) that you notice them noticing and giving a flying fuck, why would it matter? You'll probably never see them again and their opinion of your hair or children or swimming costume is as important as a Labour vote in my constituency.

brassbrass · 20/04/2017 17:18

as important as a Labour vote in my constituency. brilliant

Butterymuffin · 20/04/2017 17:27

I either haven't been stared at for this reason, or haven't noticed (probably busy swimming) but in other being-stared-at contexts, I find staring back works wonders. If that feels too much, try staring back but with a broad smile, holding eye contact. Pretty much all starers look away and get embarrassed at that point like the chickens they are.

nothercupoftea · 20/04/2017 17:27

we are all mostly entirely self-obsessed.

true, which is why seeing someone looking like shit makes us all feel a lot better about ourselves. Still think you should put your private parts and body hair away, if you want to expose yourself, there are places catering for people like you. yuk.

TakeAwayThatCaterpillar · 20/04/2017 17:29

God I love all you non-shavers.

I have a question: does anyone who is really hairy not shave?

I'd love to not shave, and it upsets me that I'm not brave enough. I definitely would get looks. I'm hairy-man type hairy if I don't wax....

ChaiTeaTaiChi · 20/04/2017 17:37

Do you mean really hairy as in pubic or really hairy in general. I'm the former but not the latter.

TakeAwayThatCaterpillar · 20/04/2017 17:38

Both, Chai.

HelenaDove · 20/04/2017 17:39

I have to get the bit just under my chin waxed because when i hit 40 i sprouted hairs there.

ChaiTeaTaiChi · 20/04/2017 17:39

Still think you should put your private parts and body hair away, if you want to expose yourself, there are places catering for people like you. yuk

I see people have got even nastier. A persons body in its natural state is not something to be so frightened of that you'd like to round us up and put us in separate places.
We can go where you go, and you have no rights to tell us otherwise.

ToastDemon · 20/04/2017 17:42

nothercupoftea I would rather you put your personality away!
You are far ruder and more offensive than some perfectly natural body hair.

TakeAwayThatCaterpillar · 20/04/2017 17:43

Here is the fitness blogger who was linked to upthread.
I think I love her...

HelenaDove · 20/04/2017 17:46

I just clicked on the article Puffin linked to. She looks amazing hair or no hair.

What IS peoples problem.

brassbrass · 20/04/2017 17:50

I've never seen anyone in real life looking like this. Has anyone on this thread come across this in RL? And where? (I travel quite a bit)

I get the stop shaving thing but I can't see the corporate world or the social circles I travel in adopting this so it's too unrealistic for me. It's about as likely as winning the lottery.

nothercupoftea · 20/04/2017 17:55

next we'll see women changing their tampax in communal changing room, because you know, its natural and nothing to be ashamed about...
Give us a break with the natural, and have some self respect!

SapphireStrange · 20/04/2017 17:58

What a stupid comparison, cupoftea.

nothercupoftea · 20/04/2017 18:03

of course, it's stupid, because that you don't agree with. It's difficult to justify exposing some things because they are "natural" but having to be modest about others, isn't it? Are you trying to make me ashamed about being a woman now?