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AIBU?

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Original poster

*Trigger Warning* AIBU to not understand how this YouTuber isn't being investigated for child abuse?

588 replies

milkmilklemonade12 · 18/04/2017 18:19

So I actually found out about this channel via another large forum I post on. Essentially, a YouTube channel which is called DaddyOFive (it's reasonably large, around three quarters of a million subscribers) centres around a blog made by the father, with 5 children. The upshot of it is, people were angry about how the family, lead by the father; bully one of their children Cody, and pass it off as just 'good old fashioned parenting!'

At first until I checked out the videos I honestly thought it couldn't be that bad. I was horribly wrong. Some of the videos are entitled:
Dad burns Cody's Pokemon cards
Dad destroys son's DS
Dad forces son to throw away his toys
I'm sending Cody to military school

In their most recent video, because Cody had been bad (smeared poop on the walls; a recognised sign of abuse and distress), they took all the other kids to DisneyLand.

These videos are horrific, and despite them being located in the US, I really feel like CPS should be investigating and YouTube should shut the channel down for child abuse.

If you can bear to watch the videos, the guy's name is DaddyOFive, and I'd urge you to take a few minutes and report their videos for child abuse. I really don't understand how in this day and age, this kind of thing isn't investigated more quickly. The child is sobbing, and regularly in horrendous distress at the bullying at the hands of his parents and siblings, so these videos could trigger people; that's why I haven't directly linked them and why I've placed a warning on the top of my post.

OP posts:
Thread gallery
14
Original poster
milkmilklemonade12 · 19/04/2017 09:19

JessKM holy crap, I missed that! I'll admit I tend to skip through a lot of the videos because they're so upsetting. I am in shock!!!

OP posts:
JessKM · 19/04/2017 09:23

From the video they posted to Twitter in the middle of the night, about 6 mins in she says they are a blended family...and she says that Cody and Emma are 'my' children.

I may have misinterpreted that but her words are pretty clear.

They do look more like her than him, the light hair and glasses?

Elendon · 19/04/2017 09:25

It's the 'give us a hug' that sickos get off on after the abuse that is disturbing.

JessKM · 19/04/2017 09:25

From how I interpreted it, Mike Martin is father of Jake, Ryan and Alex - 3 boys who are darker haired and rarely wear shirts Hmm

Halfbakedpie · 19/04/2017 09:27

In the apology video she talks about the interview with the 'real mom' of Cody and Emma, how much it supposedly hurt and how they are her children just as much as the other 3, not meaning that they're biologically hers but that she considers them hers (so ok to abuse then!).

DeleteOrDecay · 19/04/2017 09:29

Just wanted to post a quick update - I'm living in the US and just called Montgomery County SS in Maryland to report this. The lady on the other end of the line said that they're very aware of the concerns, and that over 100 people have filed reports this evening. Child Protective Services are officially investigating. Thanks so much OP for putting this out there. Awful, awful people.

Just reposting this for anyone who missed it. I am so glad they are being looked into. It's heartening but also sad that strangers on the Internet are looking out for this little boy when it should be his own parents (step parents, what ever) job to keep him safe.

I can't quite believe they've been allowed to get away with this for so long.

Halfbakedpie · 19/04/2017 09:39

There's already a couple of videos on Youtube of a 'he needs support because they're getting slated and what a relief the vids were fake all along' nature after that apology video! Some people are so keen not to see child abuse when it's happening (not that I want to see it iyswim but if it's there someone should notice) and believe the Youtube hype Sad

MaryPoppinsPenguins · 19/04/2017 09:40

That's a great email MilkMilkLemonade... maybe it's worth other people also messaging them so they get a high volume? Especially regarding the newly realised fact that he is not even his father.

You've done a fantastic thing in starting this thread.

WannaBe · 19/04/2017 09:44

I don't believe these video's are real. Not that I think they're ok, I don't. But it's incredibly easy to make a fake video.

The family have been reported now, presumably the SS in question will investigate, although it seems that they have previously been investigated. But if they have previously been under the radar of the authorities then it makes no sense that they would put up video's abusing their child in front of a global viewing audience.

As I said up-thread, the emphasis needs to be on why people are drawn to these kinds of video's in the first place. Because video's like this won't be the first and they won't be the last. And some wil be real, some will be pranks, but they will all have one thing in common - the watchability factor.

Rather than investigating this family, the media need to be looking at why people feel the need to watch these kinds of material on the internet, why a video of someone apparently being nasty to their child attracts three quarters of a million subscribers. And some of those will be children. The types of children who gain something from seeing others sufffer. The types of children who will become the school bully.

If people continue to concentrate on just this one family there is a risk that it will all be confirmed as fake in a day or two and the next time something like this materialises on YouTube the internet populous won't be taken seriously because they were taken in last time. Internet petitions are useless. No point what so ever either creating or signing them. if US media have taken up the story then the authorities will have little choice but to investigate, if they aren't already. But these video's are tomorrow's virtual chip paper. There's a far bigger story here, and it's not being served by concentrating on just this one family who will be gone by the end of the week.

VelvetThunder · 19/04/2017 09:46

It's so great to see what progress has been made just overnight. It seems to have already made an impact. With so many people now raising awareness and sharing to so many other sources it gives more reason to be properly investigated and dealt with accordingly.
Well done to op for raising the issue and well done to everyone else for supporting Flowers

Original poster
milkmilklemonade12 · 19/04/2017 09:47

Thank you so much for your kind words MaryPoppersPenguins, I only provided links to other people's work (Reddit and YouTube) so I can't take the credit... mumsnet is an amazing group of people though; it's undeniable that the media take notice of this site.

I agree that if anyone else can message the DM too that would be super helpful; I just emailed [email protected]

I didn't link to this particular thread... but I'm sure they'll find it Wink

OP posts:
FeedTheSharkAndItWIllBite · 19/04/2017 10:00

After watching the video of Grumpkin (don't want to give them anymore views... Already gave them two [with adblock, but still])

I don't believe all of this is fake. No way. Plus, hitting people, slamming them, a bloody nose? Nope. And I don't think an 8 (?) year old can act this well.

It seems like the family dynamic is awful. The youngest stepchild, constantly provoked by the father, the father egging on the siblings etc.

HOWEVER, I don't think it's much worse when the camera is off (small comofort...). Simply because the boy is still standing up for himself? I mean, Idk. I personally learned to keep my head down really quickly. I suspect the father genuinely thinks this is perfectly normal behaviour and therefore doesn't censor himself in public or private. Which is scary.

And I agree. People liking this is awful. And a real issue (the other issue is that people still seem to be unable to recognise childabuse/think of it as wrong).

DeleteOrDecay · 19/04/2017 10:07

The story has been picked up by The Mirror:
www.mirror.co.uk/news/world-news/parents-cruel-prank-son-upset-10247647?ICID=FB_mirror_main

Teatowelfairy · 19/04/2017 10:13

Of course it's incredibly easy to fake a video, and from the parents side they are indeed 'faking' a scenario but there's no way that a child can fake that level of distress. The parents may be creating fake situations but they are not faking they're enjoyment and amusement at successfully causing their child so much distress. They are scum and of course this family should be investigated!

MaryPoppinsPenguins · 19/04/2017 10:15

There is no way these videos are 'fake'. That is real distress... no 8 year old can act like that.

TaliZorahVasNormandy · 19/04/2017 10:16

The fact that he isnt even the poor lad's father makes it so much worse. This man has been brought into this child's life and his mum just lets him be abused.

MaryPoppinsPenguins · 19/04/2017 10:17

She's not his mum either though is she?

RitaMills · 19/04/2017 10:25

Poor child, I don't believe that level of distress is fake. I only watched three little clips and that was enough. The mothers attitude to Cody smearing poo everywhere was shocking, 'Cody is something else' yes you fucking pig, an abuse victim. I'm so angry, the pair of them are disgusting.

JessKM · 19/04/2017 10:26

There's some confusion over who is the bio parent of who, they're deffo a blended family though.

Original poster
milkmilklemonade12 · 19/04/2017 10:27

I don't know how old he is in these videos. He could be younger than 8 in some of them. I have a 6.5 year old and they look at similar stages to me.

I also don't believe the videos are fake. He looks genuinely distraught to me, and you cannot fake a blood nose. In the video I linked to (the female youtuber, NOT Daddyofive) it shows a clip of him pulling his face away from his pillow, and there is a palm sized fresh blood stain, and there are drops of blood coming out of his nose and hanging from his nostrils. It is definitely bright red, fresh blood.

OP posts:
Teatowelfairy · 19/04/2017 10:28

I cannot get my head around the mindset of these 'parents'.
Let's take in a child that's not ours and then abuse him for our own enjoyment. Let's post a bunch of videos on YouTube because surely everyone will find it hilarious or sympathise that we have to deal with a difficult child. After all it can't be classed as abuse because we've gave him a roof over his head and give him stuff.
Vile cunts! Angry

Original poster
milkmilklemonade12 · 19/04/2017 10:28

Yes I don't know if the mother is his bio mum; it has been suggested by some that she is not. But I don't know. It is true that he looks very different from the other children though.

I'm so sorry for his pain.

OP posts:
TaliZorahVasNormandy · 19/04/2017 10:33

Is she not? Who's kids are they and how did these two twats get them.

Original poster
milkmilklemonade12 · 19/04/2017 10:35

teatowel im willing to bet that their actions have made his behaviour 'bad'. I'd hesitate to call it bad because to me, faeces smearing is not bad, it is disturbed.

OP posts:
ThreeShiningStars · 19/04/2017 10:38

This is truly heartbreaking and I hope that Cody and his sister receive the help they so desperately need, and that the other children are considered too because removing one child may ultimately put the others at risk too.

From searching online it seems that Heather (MummyOFive) is not the biological mother of Cody and Emma. Their biological mother is apparently Rose Hall, who has said that her children were not returned to her after a visit with their Dad, and that he forged her signature on papers that gave up her parental rights to them. There is also commentary out there that states she had reported the videos to child protection services and that they considered the behaviour of the Dad to be 'corporal punishment'. If this is true and whether you agree with corporal punishment or not (I don't agree with it) I fail to see how engineering a situation whereby a child is subjected to corporal punishment for something they didn't do could be considered fair and legal.

While the Dad seems to be the main protagonist from the clips seen on the DeFranco video I can see clear indications that the Stepmother on the situation has a clear disdain for Cody (see the way she speaks about him in the Disney video clip) and that if the Dad shows any hint of sympathy for him she is quick to quash it. Not in ANY WAY excusing the behaviour of the Dad but I see the SM as being quite coldly calculating in her treatment of Cody.