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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

AIBU to expect my friend to spell my DDs name correctly?

25 replies

tigercub50 · 18/04/2017 12:57

I know it's a little thing really but it isn't just spelling it incorrectly - in texts or e mails, my friend calls DD by a whole different name as she insists on adding a letter! I have told her quite a few times & my Mum has mentioned it as well but nothing changes. I had an E card at Easter & pointed it out again. Would this annoy anyone else or should I just accept that my friend is always going to get it wrong?

OP posts:

mamamagellanic · 18/04/2017 12:59

YANBU! I have this problem, it's utterly infuriating! I don't respond!

DangerousBeanz · 18/04/2017 13:00

It'd annoy me. It doesn't even matter if your dd has an unusual name or name spelling, if she's had it pointed out to her and she's still getting it wrong then it's either ignorant or willful imo.

Justmadeperfectflapjacks · 18/04/2017 13:01

Can you alter her name for your next correspondence?
Maybe we could help if we knew her name??

JessKM · 18/04/2017 13:02

YANBU!! That would drive me crazy! You should only have to point that out once and if she's not sure she could ask.

Just start referring to her by a different name and when she challenges you simply say 'not very nice is it'

5foot5 · 18/04/2017 13:03

Yes it would annoy me. Have you told her that you find it annoying not amusing? She might just think of it as just her little joke or pet name for your DD.

I used to get this as a child. I have a name with an -e on the end but there is a variation of the same name with a -a on the end. I had opinionated, old bag of an auntie who thought the -a version was "posher" and insisted on calling me that in cards, in conversation, in everything. Thankfully we didn't have to see much of her but I wish now that either my mum or I had been more forceful with her about it

Chavelita · 18/04/2017 13:03

Just keep pointing it out. It's careless and rude of your friend. Yes, I've occasionally got a name into my head wrong, because I know someone with a similar name or something (say Prakesh vs Paresh or something), but that makes me extra-careful when using it in writing.

elQuintoConyo · 18/04/2017 13:05

Respond to texts/whatsapp/email with Dear Maireee (Mary) or Dear Illizerbehth (Elizabeth) etc

I'd have to tell her face to face 'this is how my child's name is spelt; cop on to yourself'.

usernumbernine · 18/04/2017 13:05

My Ex SIL did this with one of mine. I used to keep signing cards with the right spelling.

Until the day when she ranted that some friend of hers had spelled her two year old's name wrong and how rude it was that they couldn't be bothered to get it right. And how she'd ripped them a new one.

Yeah, I get why that would be annoying, but you're in no position to complain given that miniuser is 17 and you've been spelling their name wrong their whole life.

Original poster

tigercub50 · 18/04/2017 13:22

My friend's name is Ilona

OP posts:

Chavelita · 18/04/2017 13:24

Address her as Iona from now on?

Sixgeese · 18/04/2017 13:29

While it is annoying, it's not worth getting worked up about DSis and I both have names that can be spelt with or without an e. DSis has the e, mine doesn't.

Our DGrandma spelt my name until I was almost 30. Did it effect how much she loved me....no. Did we tell her, at the start yes, but it wasn't worth worrying about.

RedSkyAtNight · 18/04/2017 13:32

I have an unusual name. Friends still misspell it who have known me for years and know perfectly well how to spell it! I could waste time getting stressed about it ... or I could just accept them as a bit dozy ...

JessKM · 18/04/2017 13:43

I have an unusual name for the UK, not that unusual where I'm from..but I spend a lot of time correcting people. Once ive corrected them once, they rarely make the same mistake again unless it's genuinely an oversight, it's just rude.

For what it's worth, my name is Jessiah, I get called Jessica at least once a day.

Pigface1 · 18/04/2017 13:53

I can see why it's irritating but is it worth getting annoyed about?

Also I feel it does depend what the misspelling is.

A friend of mine has called her little boy 'Paull'. It's pronounced exactly the same 'Paul' but has a double L at the end.

She gets absolutely enraged if anyone misses the second 'L'. I have told her that he's in for a lifetime of missing 'Ls' and, let's face it, will probably opt to drop the second L when he's old enough, but she still gets absolutely irate about it.

Xmasbaby11 · 18/04/2017 14:01

Try not to get annoyed as these mistakes will continue to happen. I have an unusual name and I accept I will get it pronounced or spelt wrongly on a regular basis. Even by relatives and friends. I just don't let it bother me and I'm still happy to have an unusual name. I think it's the same deal for names where there are similar versions.

DancingLedge · 18/04/2017 14:39

Dyslexia? DC, doing well , 3rd yr STEM degree, can still misspell DS name.

Bumbumtaloo · 18/04/2017 14:49

My youngest DD has an unusual spelling of her name - just to be clear it is an accepted spelling of her name which is common in the rest of the world but is getting more popular here.

I have found weirdly nearly everyone spells it correctly, I have been asked a couple of times what the spelling is.

My mum on the other hand has a fairly common Gaelic name one of my great aunts (on my dads side) who has known my mum for over 40yrs spells her name differently every time she sends a card. My mum is forever having to spell her name.

Jaxhog · 18/04/2017 16:27

My name constantly gets mispelled. It isn't an unusual name, but most people spell it one way, while I (and a number of other people) spell it another. It shouldn't annoy me, but it still does. Friends and family should make more of an effort, in my opinion.

chastenedButStillSmiling · 18/04/2017 16:32

Is her name pronounced "I own a" OP?

If so, you could have LOTS of fun on future correspondence to her...

Dear I own a car
Dear I own a television etc

Or is it "I loan a" in which case you could do "I'll loan you a tenner if you pay it back next week"

eitak22 · 18/04/2017 16:33

My sister spelt my name wrong for 10 years, shes a lot older than me so its not like she was learning to spell or anything! Its a simple 5 letter name with a 4 letter variant (or vice versa since 4 letter variant is older i believe). People forever spell it wrong even when my email address has it in! Now i give up as my surname is spanish and thus confuses everyone so i automatically spell my name out.

As others said, just keep telling her and keep signing things correctly from your child some people get it into their heads they are right even when they are not.

Crunchymum · 18/04/2017 16:39

So is daughters name Elle and she calls her Ellen?

Crunchymum · 18/04/2017 16:40

Could it be autocorrect?

What does she call her in person?

5moreminutes · 18/04/2017 16:46

If it's in texts and emails it's probably autocorrecting - means she doesn't proof read which is about lazy but not personal.

One of my DC almost always gets his name spelt wrongly (easy name, two recognised spellings) as do I - it's only worth bothering about if it's on an official record/ document or printed on a T shirt :)

Whathaveilost · 18/04/2017 19:54

I really couldn't be bothered getting upset over it.
My nan spelled the name of both DS's wrong until the day she died. It was wrong on everything from congratulations cards, birthday cards, envelopes with holiday money in for them etc. She didn't do it maliciously and cared about the a lot. She was an intelligent woman with all her faculties about her.
We accepted it as 'a quirk'

Spadequeen · 18/04/2017 19:57

Rather than keep correcting her, ask her why she insists on an incorrect spelling when you've told her several times.

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