I will try and keep this relatively short and fill in what I think is required.
DH and I have been married just under a year and decided to elope. Numerous reasons, financially we don't have a lot between us, he had a cancer scare which thankfully turned out fine but will need some surgery in the next year and we both felt the marriage was far more important than the actual "wedding day". So we had no one attend apart from two witnesses unknown to us. His family were cool, relaxed and supportive about the whole idea as were friends and unfortunately only a couple of family members my side.
My mum, my sister and brother were both extremely angry and upset and made sure we knew. We were aware it would probably cause hurt to some but tried to explain our reasons that if we didn't do it this way we probably would never "get married". The wedding idea does not suit either of us.
My DB point blanked refused to speak with me and only contacted me to say I was no longer part of the family, I am incredibly selfish not to include anyone and all I think about is myself (he's single). My DS remained quiet but had a few things to say behind our back. She has also from day one of meeting my now husband has been fairly judgemental. Questioning why I chose him, I spend too much time with him, I drink too much with him (we had a few crazy couple months together going on holiday, vineyards but nothing of a daily worrying alcohol abuse nature!) enough for my parents to have tried to reassure my partner and I that they will come round (this was before we got married). I am still unsure exactly why and what it is they dislike so much about my choice of partner and relationship. He is truly an amazing man.
I left them be and discovered we were pregnant late last year which I wanted to reach out and share the news, with a response from my sister that it was my terrible news to share and my brother that "he doesn't care because I don't respect his feelings or my mothers".
At this point I had enough. It was stressing me out how unsupportive and critical they have been from the very beginning and seeing my husband baffled to why he is not liked or cared for.
The past 5 months have been lovely. We have focused on each other and our now growing family without the dread of my siblings reactions. I am still in contact with DM but it's far more limited than what it used to be.
Last week both my DB and DS reached out to meet up and "discuss" everything and put it behind us. I'm not ready, I was enjoying the peace and realised how angry I feel towards everything not to hold my tongue. My DS wouldn't take that as an answer and harassed in every way possible to ask why I won't meet up and I'm being incredibly unreasonable (Instagram, fb, text, call, Pinterest and even got hold of my work email!) As of today I haven't heard from her but my Dad and Step mother have reached out that I must make amends, life is too short and I am depriving my unborn child of an Uncle and Auntie.
Sorry it's incredible long.
So AIBU to just not want to make amends right now? I didn't imagine I would before the baby is here nor straight after either. I hadn't thought when I would but possibly when I can speak about them without feeling angry about everything. I let a lot of things go at the beginning.
Also, how would I put this across to my parents without it causing a strain on the relationship there.
Thank you