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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to think having sex on the sofa is gross?

127 replies

Hoptastic53 · 15/04/2017 22:27

Our two year old sleeps in our bed. This is soon to change as I'm pregnant but in the meantime, every night without fail DP is wink wink nudge nudging me about coming down to shag on the sofa after I put her to bed. AIBU to think it's a bit grim? It's a black fabric sofa. Our DC sit and eat on it.

So as not to be accused of drip feeding, I don't mean we shouldn't have sex until she moves to her own bed. We often do during the day when she naps in her pushchair while her siblings are at school or in the morning at weekends if she's off downstairs with her siblings. But on the sofa just feels wrong and unhygienic.

OP posts:
Butterymuffin · 15/04/2017 22:43

Black fabric sofa? That will show all the worst stains.

Floor is better. But just tell him no if he's badgering and you don't want to, regardless of location.

This is going to sound churlish, but are you both home all day waiting for the window of opportunity when your DD has a nap?

MrsTerryPratchett · 15/04/2017 22:43

This is going to end up in the Fail, isn't it?

AndNowItIsSeven · 15/04/2017 22:47

Frequent sex while your dd is asleep in her pushchair is more gross. Don't you have any ironing to be getting on with?

intergalacticbrexitdisco · 15/04/2017 22:47

Throws, innit?

I didn't think anyone with a small child got to actually engage in Marital Relations in bed!

NotTheDuchessOfCambridge · 15/04/2017 22:48

Sofas are fine? We shagged on ours for years, nobody died! Maybe you could invest in a leather one, you could wipe it down with anti-bac wipes before the kids eat off of it!

TaliZorahVasNormandy · 15/04/2017 22:48

Dont be so vanilla. I've done it on plenty of sofas and not all of them belonged to me.

pinkhorse · 15/04/2017 22:49

I had it on the sofa last night Grin

Original poster
Hoptastic53 · 15/04/2017 22:49

Floor is wooden and cold. The thought of the stains on the sofa is just gross IMO.

Sleeping in a bed which we've had sex in (and yes, sheets are changed v regularly) is different to eating dropped food off a stained sofa.

The thought of him sitting waiting to pounce the moment I get downstairs every night is also very off putting, I agree. It's always first of his agenda, I don't even get to initiate it and it's never spontaneous.

OP posts:
Original poster
Hoptastic53 · 15/04/2017 22:50

Why is it gross while she's in a pushchair?!

OP posts:
PaperdollCartoon · 15/04/2017 22:51

There's your problem OP - the sex pest husband, not the bonking location

ShuttyTown · 15/04/2017 22:51

Bent over the arm of the sofa suits me better than ON the sofa Wink

EsmesRedPetticoat · 15/04/2017 22:53

Thank goodness everyone has piled on to say it's fine. I clicked on this thinking everyone would agree with you and that I was a dirty minger!
We have a fleecy throw to protect ours Grin

MeadowHay · 15/04/2017 22:54

OP I am a bit like you I think. I have a bit of a weird attitude to sex sometimes. I don't think I've ever had sex on a sofa. Granted I'm only young and have only been sexually active for around 5 years and this is the first year in that time DH and I have actually owned our own sofa. But we still haven't had sex on it - and we don't even have children or anything. I think in theory there is nothing wrong with sex on the sofa - but for some weird reason I find it difficult to relax to have sex elsewhere than our bed Confused. Anyway I just wanted to post to let you know that you're definitely not the only one who has weird feelings about location of sex outside of beds. I'm not saying it's good or normal or healthy to feel that way but I'm sure many others do, like me. And it's not nice some people commenting with misplaced vitriol calling you a 'wally' etc Hmm.

Astro55 · 15/04/2017 22:54

Oh dear! Better than the shower -

Tell your DH to sod off!

Butterymuffin · 15/04/2017 22:55

So tell him you're not up for it on whatever piece of furniture as an after-putting-to-bed thing. I can see how it comes across as a 'you've seen to the children, now service meee' thing. Deeply off-putting.

Fruitcocktail6 · 15/04/2017 22:56

I don't understand the hygiene issue. So she can sleep in the fuck bed fine but not sit on the fuck sofa? That makes no sense.

pictish · 15/04/2017 22:56

"The thought of him sitting waiting to pounce the moment I get downstairs every night is also very off putting, I agree. It's always first of his agenda, I don't even get to initiate it and it's never spontaneous."

There's your actual ick factor matey. It's the sex pest husband.

pictish · 15/04/2017 22:57

x posted with paperdoll I see

Butterymuffin · 15/04/2017 22:58

Actually, get him to do bedtime and leave a note for when he comes down saying you've just popped out for a bit. Note can be left on the sofa.

Crumbs1 · 15/04/2017 22:59

Move child to own bed. Problem solved.

LuluJakey1 · 15/04/2017 22:59

Our sofa has a cotton throw that is easily washed, dries quite quickly and doesn't need ironing. Bob's your uncle and Fanny's your aunt!

NotReallyMeToday · 15/04/2017 23:00

A friend of mine apparently was told at a young age that he was both conceived and born on the same sofa. The sofa in his parents house that sits there until this day.

He told me this as I said on said sofa.

Git. Grin

UnicornButtplug · 15/04/2017 23:02

Your issue is with your husband, you don't seem to actually want sex with him so I don't think it's really the location that is the problem.

However, how bad is his aim that the sofa is getting stained? Surely after you have finished you grab his top, hold it between your legs and shuffle elegantly off to the bathroom? No just me then?

WorraLiberty · 15/04/2017 23:03

It's wrong if you're in the middle of DFS

Not so much if you're at home.

WankingMonkey · 15/04/2017 23:03

Towel

Yes, not very spontaneous (though, neither is 'oh love, kids alseep, lets shag on the sofa, get ya horn on' Hmm) but YES!

Even before having the kids, and whilst having a leather sofa, we used to lay a towel down to catch the escaped 'spunk' (as DH charmingly called it). That way we could just chuck the towel in the wash rather than doing the grim guilty wipe of doom...we were once caught doing this, hence the extreme caution. When asked what we were doing both froze, blushed and lost the ability to speak which made it obvious. In hindsight, saying we had spilt a drink would have easily sufficed.

Would definitely do it with a fabric sofa.

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