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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Would you do this..

23 replies

WankingMonkey · 15/04/2017 22:17

Not really an AIBU but just opinions gathered type thing

Me and DH joined a gym. I have health problems and the doctor has suggested trying to be more active (even though it will fucking hurt) whilst waiting for my physio appointments and my intercostal muscle injections.

Anyway, we joined a gym near us so that we can go while the kids are at school. Can get the bus down and do an hour and get back intime to pick them up. DH may go on his own occasionally, I can't go on my own incase of an attack.

There is a little soft play area inside the leisure building. Not much but a few slides, ballpool, soft toys to chuck about. We took our kids (2 and 4) there last week and they loved it. We have DSC with us this week as its the holidays. DSD is 12, DSS is 14. DSS2 is 9 but obviously we wouldn't expect him to do this...he would just be playing.

DH has mentioned that it might be a good idea for us to go to the gym, and leave the little ones in the care of the 12 and 14 year old. Both are mature, and the 12 year old is such a little mother, she often asks to do bedtime and such and sometimes asks to make them breakfast and even (!) change pullups when accidents are had. The play area is about 20 seconds walk from the main reception. DH assures me that if there were any problems reception could reach us immediately. I don't know if I am being a bit too protective or what...I am not keen on the idea even though the little ones often play outside with the older ones and the only time there was a slight issue (2 year old fell over and scratched his knee) DSD picked him up and brought him in immediately and it was all sorted.

Would you leave your toddlers in the care of a teenager and a nearly teenager, when you were minutes away and in the same building?

OP posts:

Original poster

WankingMonkey · 15/04/2017 22:19

Also yes we could technically just wait til the kids go back to school, but DH has mentioned the play area to them already and they want to go too. DH has floated the idea of us going every Saturday when DSC are here for a day out for everyone as its relatively cheap in the soft play too (3.50 for the 2 kids. 2 quid for the 9 year old. Free for the older ones)

OP posts:

StillDrivingMeBonkers · 15/04/2017 22:19

Yes.

RJnomore1 · 15/04/2017 22:19

The gym may require an adult 16plus to supervise?

I think I would though if they were ok with it. I could be there almost as quick as from the garden or upstairs.

Original poster

WankingMonkey · 15/04/2017 22:21

The gym may require an adult 16plus to supervise?

We will make sure of this, but from our last visits it appears 14 year old is old enough to supervise. This includes in the swimming pool (which we wouldn't do...not the kids without us in the actual pool)

OP posts:

BlueDaisies · 15/04/2017 22:22

Yes I think I would if, as you say, they are mature and as long as the older 2 are happy to do this? I'd pop out after 20 mins to check all ok etc.

Darbs76 · 15/04/2017 22:22

Yes I would if same building and she's a mature 12. As long as she knows she has to supervise his every move. If you're not comfortable though I'd say no just go when back in school

SomethingBorrowed · 15/04/2017 22:24

I would do it in the situation you described

thenightsky · 15/04/2017 22:24

I used to babysit a 2 and 3 year old when I was 14. The parents were miles away an uncontactable (before mobile phones).

Nothing went wrong in 2 years.

user1471558436 · 15/04/2017 22:29

My 14 year old baby sits lots of small children. Legally the parents are still responsible despite being absent.

ShoesHaveSouls · 15/04/2017 22:29

Yes I would, as long as the gym allowed it.

CanaryFish · 15/04/2017 22:30

Try it,
Be clear and consistent with the rules (think of some hypothetical scenarios and what would the children do etc) and do it as long as all the children are happy for it to continue.
Make it clear what the roles are for each child, e.g. The 9 year old can do their own thing but can't be acting the maggot because 12 and 14 year old are in charge of 4 and 2 year old.
4 and 2 year old (as much as possible) have to listen to 12 and 14 year old etc

itsmine · 15/04/2017 22:31

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster

WankingMonkey · 15/04/2017 22:32

For some reason it never occurred to me that we could check on them every 20 mins or so. I think thats what we will do actually. At least to start with and if it becomes a regular thing them maybe be a bit more lax.

Also yes I had friends babysitting (sometimes tiny babies, months old) when they were 13/14. Does this still go on now?

OP posts:

Original poster

WankingMonkey · 15/04/2017 22:35

I'm a bit surprised your dh thinks it's a good idea to do it every Sat as a day out and it's 'free for the older dc'

He takes them out on a Sunday. We kinda just sit around (meaning they play outside, or colour, games or something, not just sitting...unfortunately lol) on Saturdays usually unless we have spare money that month. So its a...get out the house kind of thing. They seem enthusiastic about the idea too. Much more so than when I suggested going out to the park or just going out for a walk today

OP posts:

wheresthel1ght · 15/04/2017 22:37

Yes, my DSS is 13.5 and he will happily supervise DSD 11 and DD 3.5 in our gym's soft play for an hour while I go to the gym or will watch tv with DSD and keep and ear out for DD if I go to the gym in the evening (their dad works perm nights) it isn't often that it happens and he is paid handsomely for this.

I babysat for local kids from being 13 and often had 2 of them from 8am til 6pm while their parents worked from being 14.

Obviously it depends on the child, there are kids I know in their late teens that I wouldn't leave to supervise themselves let alone a young child :)

junebirthdaygirl · 15/04/2017 22:40

But ots not just a 12 year old its a 14 year old too if l got that right. They will be fine. But if they get fed up with it l wouldnt push it. Only if everyone is keen.

itsmine · 15/04/2017 22:40

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Mrsknackered · 15/04/2017 22:40

Yes, I would.
I was babysitting a family with 3 very young children for a whole night once a week at 14.

Original poster

WankingMonkey · 15/04/2017 22:43

I bet you'll get a catsbum faced mnetter posting next week about teens in charge of preschoolers in the softplay grin

I won't lie, this was part of the reason I was unsure. The inevitable judging that will come if another parent clicks on. I actually pictured in my head someone posting a thread on here about it

'I took my PFB to soft play today and a couple walked in, deposited their children with kisses and hugs and just left and did not reappear for half an hour!! The eldest couldn't have been over 15 and the girl seemed to be mothering the little ones and looked about 13. I think this is a disgrace. AIBU'

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NabobsFromNobHill · 15/04/2017 22:44

I totally would, yes.

Questioningeverything · 15/04/2017 22:47

Well done on joining the gym for a start. I did recently and it's a buzz and you kind of don't want to stay away for long so I get that.
Does the gym offer no crèche facilities? (Mine does that's why I ask). If so, that could be a better bet. Mine is £1.80 per child per session, qualified staff there too.
I don't think I'd be too fussed at it, but couldn't you or dh take turns/ weeks? The dsc come to see you all, not be babysitting the younger siblings. I just don't know that I'd be comfortable if I were them nor able to speak up because it's making you happy. Yup, I was that kid.
Please don't read that wrong, I'm not criticising, just looking from every angle.
Enjoy your workouts, they hurt but as the gym bunny said to me this week 'no pain no gain!' 🙄

Original poster

WankingMonkey · 15/04/2017 22:54

Does the gym offer no crèche facilities? (Mine does that's why I ask).

No we asked that and apparently they did but not enough people used it to make it worthwhile for them to employ extra staff.

I get what you mean about the DSC coming to see us. We have had this conversation believe me. DH argues that DSS spends the entire time on his ipod when in the house anyway so at least getting out of the house will mean he pays attention to stuff. DSD is constantly asking if she can take the little ones out in the garden for 'fresh air' (though...refuses to go for a walk or anything if me or DH offer to take them ) so I am pretty sure she wouldn't see it as a burden and seems a bit excited with the extra responsibility. When shes not in 'mother mode' she is glued to her ipod too... We actually plan on taking picnics and whatnot sometimes as this soft play thing appears to be an opening to get them to go to the park and stuff with no moaning about wifi (park is right behind leisure centre) as they are excited about it. Though this may not last beyond a few weeks and as soon as they get sick of it we would stop.

I could kill DH for talking to the kids about it before we had talked about it properly though. I don't like that. I get that they are his kids not mine but still...

OP posts:

HarryPottersMagicWand · 15/04/2017 22:55

I don't see why not if she is sensible. When I was 13 I was often left babysitting an 8, 4 and 3 year old until the early hours of the morning, before mobiles and I had no idea where my step mum was. You will be in the same building so it should be fine.

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