DH's work ethic

[LovelyBath77]

Recently, we have had to claim some benefits for the first time, after DH's workplace went into liquidation when DS1 was 2, and he then sent into self employment but at the same time I had several surgeries and have now a long term condition meaning I qualify for PIP / ESA. We get some tax credits and they take the ESA and his self-employment as income, to help with the children and me it is a low amount to start with.

He hates this situation and wants us off it as soon as possible. He's been taking on more work- stressful projects which will get us off the tax credits (ESA is cont based on my previous NI cont and PIP not means tested so shouldn't be affected). He is also net keen on me claiming them, but I think that is my business really. Anyway. He also has a chronic illness and don;t think the stress of these big projects helps. Think given the situation and two small children he needs to get over the 'benefits' worry and be more balanced. Not sure if I'm being unreasonable though. What do you think? Surely this is OK even for a few years, given that in the past we have paid plenty in tax and NI.

Upto him, I'd work every time over claiming benefits. For me, they are a total last resort when there is no other option.

Others see nothing wrong and view them as there entitlement or a savings scheme.

I'd rather have a partner with a decent work ethic like he has.

I don't think it's wrong to claim benefits but much, much better to earn your living if you possibly can for all sorts of reasons. Hard work in itself isn't a problem and sometimes long term conditions such as depression can be helped by the self esteem boost, social contact and routine working gives you.

I'd have to be confined to bed and in a coma before I claimed a penny as would my husband (I have multiple long term conditions and would probably qualify but prefer to work).

I'd feel like your husband.

Ok. I do see what you mean and it is more of a temporary situation- hopefully. I think what concerns me is that, if he did temporarily have a big rise in income for one year, but that may not be sustained the next, what would happen with the tax credits. But, then they are being phased out anyway. I also don't think it is shameful, to claim these are it is what it is intended for, I wouldn;t be accepted for PIP / ESA unless I was thought eligible (and yes the conditions are severe and potentially life threatening). I have studied and trained for years (to postgraduate level) and it is gutting to be in this situation, to be honest.

Also, PIP is not work related, people can work and claim illness benefits, for info.

I'd do the same as your husband. Benefits should be a last resort - not to give you an easy ride for a few years beacause you have "paid plenty in tax and NI"

I'd not want to rely on benefits if you have other options. Too likely that the government will change the rules!

I disagree with all other posters, I think. Benefits are there to support those who need them and it sounds like you do. Obviously it is better to work if you can, but not if doing so exacerbates existing health conditions.

He does work- he's self employed, but with an income which makes us eligible for the tax credits (think the cut off is around 25K, not sure.). So we don;t get the full whack.

I think I can see it as too separate things, if he does earn lots more, say 40K this year, that will cancel the tax credits but I'll still get the cont based ESA and PIP. Illness is to curable, so that part may be long term but it doesn't need to affect his income as such (except could do with he support of him not being away with work a lot of course)

I think some balance is probably helpful. If he is going to make himself ill by working too hard and ends up not being able to work at all then that isn't good. If someone is self employed there is always a temptation to work nonstop and that can affect your health too.On the other hand tax credits could be removed or reduced at any time and don't give you any real security. I would say the balance would be for him to limit his working hours to the same he would do in a normal job - so about 35 hours a week.

Illness is not curable, I meant.

Oh, and I absolutely think you should claim the ESA and PIP.

alice yes that's what I mean, he already does at least that, but i'm meaning like working away for weeks at a time, round the clock sort of thing :-( in order to get off it.

As we have a mortgage we don;t qualify for things like housing benefit for rent, or council tax. so it isn;t that easy.

I thought you might. Those very long hours are not sustainable over the long term. A few months is probably fine but most people will eventually get either physical or emotional fall out after a while.

Yes- we need to avoid the situation in which his worsens as it can be quite severe (inflammatory bowel disease) and think it is stress related, (although he doesn't). He could probably qualify for PIP too to be honest but wouldn't ever apply due to the benefits worry etc. He is so focused on this getting off it to the extent of other stuff, but I don;t think that;s the priority really. Not so sure after posting though.