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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ask what stage of being a parent you least enjoyed

185 replies

Fennecfoxmummy · 15/04/2017 15:27

My little one is only 9 months old so obviously I have very little experience. I thought I would LOVE having a little new born but it was honestly the hardest time of my life and I don't remember feeling relaxed or happy for the first 3 months however now he is amazing I love seeing the new things he is learning. The older he gets the more I enjoy him without wishing his life away!
I know toddler years are supposed to be the hardest work. What's it like when they start school? I think I'll miss him like mad or are you glad of the break. Everyone's different I know. Just wondering what to expect really Smile

OP posts:
BigBangTheory789 · 15/04/2017 22:21

Tbh with my first baby I wished away his newborn stage, I think it's because I had such a difficult labour and felt overwhelmed, same with my DD who cane very soon after. Now with my third who came 7 years later I loved the newborn stage and I am loving this stage too, she is 7 months. The but I hated the most was the potty training, that is the worst of all!!!!

TheStoic · 15/04/2017 22:28

Toddlers are dicks.

Yeah. I don't think it's coincidence that humans are at peak cuteness at that age. They need something going for them.

IvorHughJarrs · 15/04/2017 22:30

The empty nest stage Sad
It was bad enough when they were at uni but, at least, they came home for the odd weekend and for holidays. Now they are all moved away from home and in long-term relationships so, while I am happy that they have good lives and love seeing them when we can, I miss them being little and being here.

MycatsaPirate · 15/04/2017 22:36

pigface Yes and I would try and cherish those moments I wished away at the time. You know at 3am when your baby is wide awake and you just want them to sleep and they are lying there smiling at you and you are dead on your feet. You don't get those moments back.

AllFurCoatNoKnockers · 15/04/2017 22:36

DS only 14 months so not sure how I'll handle the rest of his childhood but first year wise I've found that each stage has difficulties but then they do something and your heart melts.
Loved the newborn stage. The cuddles, the finger grabbing, the sleeping on your chest.
Struggled at 5/6 months. He was sitting up, but not crawling. And he hated it. He would whinge and whinge and whinge trying to get places.
Then about 9-11 months when he could crawl but all of a sudden became this bundle of energy and wanted to be in everything, touch everything. I know it's because he was exploring but I found it really exhausting.
Loving right now, he's walking, talking and generally a lot of fun. Took a long car ride today and had a film on in the car and it warmed my heart to hear him giggling along to the film.
Right now is definitely my favourite stage so far.

notgivingin789 · 15/04/2017 22:44

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

notgivingin789 · 15/04/2017 22:44

Wrong thread !

LobsterQuadrille · 15/04/2017 23:43

I liked each year a bit more than the last one. I only had six weeks maternity leave (overseas) before going back to work full time, ex H left so I was a sole parent and the first year was a bit tricky as I had no family either. After that it was great. DD is 19 and in her first year at university and I'm liking the fact that it's term time away and holidays at home, to break us in gently (we are probably a bit codependent, or have been).

papayasareyum · 15/04/2017 23:48

teenagers. The teen years are definitely the hardest for me

MessyBun247 · 16/04/2017 07:53

Not a fan of anything under 18 months! Yes there is some nice moments, learning to crawl/walk, when they learn something new, their excitement at mundane things etc but too much crying, whingeing, anxiety (mine), total dependence and no breathing space.

Much prefer when they can talk! And they arent so hell-bent on injuring themselves constantly. Love toddlers and children of all ages.

CherryChasingDotMuncher · 16/04/2017 09:40

For me newborn stage (first 12 weeks) was horrific with DD, DS is 12 weeks now and has been a breeze!

With my DD I hated age 1-2.5. They move about, do dangerous things yet they can't communicate with you properly or be reasoned with or disciplined or play on their own. The constant need to occupy her exhausted me. And as PPs have said, by the time they're that age no one wants to help or hold them, they don't have as much appeal as a newborn!

DD is 4 next month, alhough tantrums and whinging are a daily occurance she has a lovely personality and makes me proper belly laugh, I will really miss her when she goes to school

NotYoda · 16/04/2017 09:49

re: cute /dickish toddlers

I also think babies start smiling at about the time you are ready to leave the country.

NotYoda · 16/04/2017 09:49

... to keep you on side

lottieandmia · 16/04/2017 09:50

18 months - 3 years. Into everything, ruining my make up and face cream. Tantrums, not sitting still when out!

Highmaintenancefemalestuff · 16/04/2017 09:58

I loved the newborn stage. The hardest for me was the stage of them wanting to sit and play or get about and not being able to so probably about 3-6 months. Especially Dd, she has always been a wriggler so it was hard work trying to keep her occupied before she could sit unaided or crawl. Luckily she crawled earlier than Ds, 7months. She's 8 months now and it's great that my arms get a rest. Before I just used to count the minutes til nap time.

BishopBrennansArse · 16/04/2017 10:01

Potty training x 3
And the 13 year old right now.... aaarghhhhh

carbuncleonapigsposterior · 16/04/2017 10:02

Someone said they hated the empty nest feeling, personally I love it. All the bedrooms now look tidy, no stray dirty socks and underwear to pick through, or dirty plates left in the sink. I remember having brief periods of this during the university years, but they come back with the entire bedroom contents which were moved out at the outset only to be moved back again. Of course, I love to see them, but not their stuff, although I've still got some of it and kept some of the better toys which the grandchildren now play with. When of course you start the whole cycle again, but with one giant step back Smile

Igottastartthinkingbee · 16/04/2017 10:12

Both mine have been horror toddlers but not constantly. Phases of extreme tantrums have been hellish but otherwise toddlers are pretty fun. Easily entertained and find wonder in simple things. I have low expectations for the teen years though!

Welshrainbow · 16/04/2017 10:19

I found newborn stage easy but you don't really seem to get much back at that stage. Absolutely loved 10-20 mo this ish. DS is two and finding this bit difficult, absolutely everything triggers a tantrum and he's so full on with no fear or sense of danger. That said I love seeing how his imaginative play and language is developing at moment. Suspect the teen years will be testing!

BeaLola · 16/04/2017 10:49

Every now and again I wish DS had arrived earlier ( he came at 4.5) so I could have experience all those earlier times/ loved him from day one. Having read this thread and being brutally honest I think the newborn first few months would have been my worst time probably as I would have worried about everything, had no family support and my DH was working away a lot then.

Going forward I am not looking forward to the time when he no longer wants to cuddle - he is now 9 ! And perhaps teenage years !

Graphista · 16/04/2017 16:36

I'm dreading dd leaving altogether. As a pp said perhaps a little co-dependant. She's 16 so hopefully it'll be uni first and not a complete break but it's been just the 2 of us almost 15 years.

I am and do encourage her to be independent but I know I'm going to find it really hard.

KingscoteStaff · 16/04/2017 16:42

Newborn - 6 months. Awful. I would cheerfully have swapped them for a mug of tea.

Since then, (currently 13 + 15) better each year!

dementedma · 16/04/2017 17:17

It's not that hard when they leave. It's great! Dd2 has moved in with her bf and is very happy. We have more space, she has her independence and own life. What's not to like.?

GetAHaircutCarl · 16/04/2017 17:20

I've enjoyed all stages so far ( DC are 17).

The stage I found hardest was new born. A tough pregnancy and an ill advised natural birth made the first few weeks with prem twins very challenging.

But I was lucky in that I have a good DH would took lots of time off, plus my mum was only too happy to help me, so we muddled through.

CassandraAusten · 16/04/2017 17:58

First six weeks of DC1.
Being pregnant and having a very active toddler.
DC3's hitting phase (from 18m to 2yo).
The primary years have been great.
No teens yet! Eldest is 11.