To ask what stage of being a parent you least enjoyed

[Fennecfoxmummy]

My little one is only 9 months old so obviously I have very little experience. I thought I would LOVE having a little new born but it was honestly the hardest time of my life and I don't remember feeling relaxed or happy for the first 3 months however now he is amazing I love seeing the new things he is learning. The older he gets the more I enjoy him without wishing his life away!
I know toddler years are supposed to be the hardest work. What's it like when they start school? I think I'll miss him like mad or are you glad of the break. Everyone's different I know. Just wondering what to expect really

Ages 1-3 for me. i hated the weaning (and wasted effort cooking food that was refused), and also hated potty training. They can't yet speak but know what they want so it's hard to communicate and reason with them. Lots of tantrums. Once they were 4 it became much easier. We could have proper conversations and they could understand why I was saying no to things, etc. But then neither of mine are teenagers yet so I may well change my mind...

Since my eldest turned about 7 and started being cheeky and answering back. She's 12 now and still a pain in the arse. Second is now seven too and is very much the same. It's like a switch and the innocent child that once adored me and listened to me intently and behaved has turned into my nemesis 😂

Loved the baby days with both of mine and from 3 with my daughter. Hated the terrible twos!

My little girl went from an angel to a nightmare aged 2 and then an angel again from 3! My little boy is currently in the middle of the terrible twos. Anything and everything is a constant battle at the moment with so many tantrums.

I'm hoping he'll magically get better at 3 like my daughter did...

Everyone is different. I am definitely not a small baby person. I most enjoyed from about 18 months, which probably was when i actually started to get some sleep. (loved having a toddler). Enjoyed the primary school years. I now have a moody hormonal 12 year old and still prefer that to having a small baby. There's so much we now do together, like shopping, cinema and some of the conversations are hilarious. Everyone's experience is very individual.

Doesn't every stage have it's amazing bits and horrors?

Newborn stage is horrendous with sleep deprivation, worrying if you are doing it all wrong and for some lucky sods, reflux. But then they smile at you and you melt. And those cuddles are just lovely.

They learn to walk and it's wondrous. Then they learn to climb and start shoving everything in their mouth or places stuff shouldn't go and your house starts to look less like a home than a prison camp with everything locked up.

They go to nursery and you miss them but they start making little friends and come home with lovely pictures of stuff they have done. But at the same time you have to carry 58 clean pairs of pants every time you leave the house because they keep peeing everywhere.

They go to school and it's worse as they are now gone all day five days a week. And they now have to navigate friendship groups and drama, even at 5 years old. You have to deal with their disappointment at not being invited to a friends for tea as someone else has gone. And as a parent you have to deal with parent dynamics in the playground.

Once they get to their tweens/high school age, the fun really starts. They start becoming so aware of how they look, what everyone owns and you hear 'but everyone else does' at least once a week. This age is traumatic for everyone. Their hormones are mental and this in turn makes them unreasonable in the extreme. At this stage I recommend a prescription for valium.

Teens is hard. Really hard. Hormones, friendship groups, money, phones, exams - everything is drama. All of it. And they need you more than ever I think.

And then they tell you they are going to uni and the day you help them pack up and move out to go to uni 200 miles away is one of the hardest things you'll ever do. But if you have got all that other shit right over the years then you'll have done a good job, they can stand on their own two feet and they'll come home again full of tales of new friendships, parties and being out in the world.

The biggest reward for not killing your teenagers is grandchildren.

The period of time between 4.30 and 6.30 every day. No matter how lovely a day we've had, the witching hour (s) is never easy.

In terms of developmental stages, I find they all have their bad points. The combination of children matters too, so the first few months with ds3 were much easier than the first 3 months with dd1, because he was the third baby so our routine was established and we just had to get on with it. Similarly I had previous c-sections so was better prepared with dc3 than with dc2.

Didn't enjoy 0-2 with DD, didn't sleep, clingy etc...but the rest was lovely (she's 15 now and still brilliant).
DS it was awful at 0-6 months, then ok, then awful again at 2years to now (3.5)...and it's ongoing... although he's been good as gold the last two days. I really love days like these I hold onto them because it keeps me going through the dark times

I really loved the baby & pre-school stage. I was sad when DS was at school full time. DS is 11 now & that is far harder work.

Pregnancy. I hated every second of it with ds and it was so hard that it even made the first 9 weeks in NICU seem easy (born at 27 weeks) and the subsequent ops and hospital visits. I've loved every stage of having him with me though as they've all got their wonderful ups (despite the numerous downs). I'm pregnant again and forgot how much I hated it - even though we've been ttc for 3 years with 4 mc last year and I know how grateful I should be (and am! Just want the next 24 weeks to sail by!)

Pregnancy. Getting newborns who'd sleep for 2 hours at a time was bliss in comparison

I quite like little babies. I like their subtleties, and there's a nice phase when you can put them in the jumperoo. DS1 was quite laidback, so we managed to gently wind down things like going out to eat until late in the first year when he began to need a bedtime rather than a cycle of feed, awake, sleep. He also began to tantrum at 10 months and it went downhill from there...

18m to 2.5 coincided with pregnancy/ post natal recovery for DS2 and it was a tough combination. He was slow to get talking so tantrumed out of frustration very easily. It was also the independent, slow toddle stage which didn't work well with a couple of months on crutches. Fortunately DS2 was very happy to blend in as long as there was constant access to a breast, and a sling and co-sleeping were very useful for keeping sane.

DS2 has been an easier toddler, probably helped by a part time job Some days it was a nice break going off to teach teenagers instead of spending the day with a 1&3 year old!

DS1 got easier as he got to 4 as he got more articulate and less frustrated, and we've learned how to compromise around each other and pick our battles to a large extent. He's now 6 and a really lovely person that I can have intelligent conversation with. He can also prattle on and be mind numbing, but is able to cope when I ask for some peace for a few minutes.

DS2 is 4 and generally an easier child... I think I'm willing to wager £20 on who's going to give me more grief in the teenage years, but at least he's got a wise big brother to guide him through too!

I'm not looking forward to the spring of 2028 when it's double GCSEs/ A-Levels though!

Like bibbity, the first six weeks were just awful.

Three-year-olds are also v hard work.

I like my teenagers.

First 2 years wonderful but so so tiring. 2-5 the unreasonable years but funny to look back on. 5 onwards they have been amazing but I am losing them more with each day. Yet to do the teenage years - bit scared

Love the newborn stage!

Love 6-18 months (DS currently in this one)

Loathed 18 months - 3 with DD

Loving aged 4 DD

I'm not liking it at all ATM, but I think that's due to a combination of my children's ages rather than their ages themselves.

Individually my children are absolutely delights but

My eldest is 7 and doesn't stop talking. Ever. I find myself completely disinterested when he's telling me about his iPod game. I think it's because I'm so exhausted from my other two that by the time they're out of ear shot I just went to sit in silence, which he probably sees as a perfect opportunity to tell me about his boring game (I feel terrible writing this)

My second is turning two. She is so so funny but a real handful.

I also have a 5 month old who is generally really easy and happy with her own company.

The two little ones combined are awful. The toddler is jealous of the baby. I feel bad the baby doesn't seem to get much attention and also bad that the toddler is jealous. They're on complete opposite nap times during the day so a break is rare. They will only sleep in their cots which means I'm stuck in all day with one in bed and if I do go out one tends to be exhausted and wine. The toddler hates being in the pram so nice walks are out of the question. At night they will sometimes continuously wake the other up...

Ok now I'm going to stop and have a little cry

Mine are only 7 and 5 so not that far into it yet. But think the hardest least enjoyable bit was when Dc2 started crawling, being a liability safety-wise and having clingy separation anxiety while Dc1 was still only 3 and prone to being grumpy and whiny when tired, with Dc2 not sleeping through and dc1 still having wobbly sleeping phases too.

Now, it's a dream. They like going to bed. They go in the shower by themselves. They don't usually get grumpiness because they're rarely overtired. They are at school a lot and not messing up my house 😀 They do cool activities and learn interesting things. They eat much more adventurously. They sleep well and if Dc2 wakes he just needs a cuddle and a song and back to sleep he goes. They like joining in activities, they don't cling. They can do decent walks. They can do decent bike rides. And they are still very cute to look at and funny. They watch CBBC and country file rather than peppa pig and Thomas.

In fact now is absolutely brilliant come to think of it. I am sure things must go downhill soon when dc1 hits the tweens and the hormones!

But for now they are lovely.

13 till 16 was a bloody nightmare with my DD. Wasn't a massive fan of the toddler age with both of my kids.

First four months with DD1. Tbh DD1 has been rather hard work her whole life so far (4.5yo now) but nothing compares to the utter hell of those first four months.

On the other hand the best bit so far (with both DDs) has been age 1 to 2. Adorable little people who haven't learned to tantrum yet.

So you are not far off the good bit...

Aged 3-4 for me. Hated it and spent most of the time crying and wondering where I went wrong. She's 6 now and is pretty cool if a tad frustrating. She's a talker too, anything that could be said in 5 words or leas is actually a 15 minute sentence.

I thought newborn to twos were hard but experiencing a threenager was a whole new ball game! 33 weeks pregnant now with another DD and looking forward to the (relative) calm newborn stage and hoping I've learnt enough from dd1 to make it through the horrid nursery stage without becoming an alcoholic or planning to leave her at grandmas again

Aw lovely to read posters with strong bonds with their older offspring!
Bantandec so sorry that you've not enjoyed any of it. How old are your dc?

Have a toddler and a teenager - both in a rather testing phase 🙁🙁🙁🙁🙁🙁🙁 and I am a single parent. Youngest sees her dad for about 10 hours a week, eldest has no contact with his.

However my teenager has been away for over a week and I am missing our adult conversations like crazy (and him entertaining the toddler for 20 minutes!)

I think there are pros and cons to each "phase" and I am hoping the next phase for both of them has more pros than cons as I can't cope with much more before I hit the bottle!!!!!! I would go back to the sleep deprived poonami newborn phase if I could at the moment - it was much easier then!

I'd have ten kids if I could outsource everything from ages 2-5.

Love babies.
Toddlers are dicks.
Three year old is acceptable.
Six year old is great company.
I have not ventured past that age so cannot comment further...

Can't stop laughing at "toddlers are dicks". They so are. Utterly divine adorable little dicks!

Can I ask - and this will sound like a weird question - if you could go back in time and do things again, would you still have your children?

Under 2 was the hardest, or even under 1. I find babies very difficult and frustrating!