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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ask what stage of being a parent you least enjoyed

185 replies

Fennecfoxmummy · 15/04/2017 15:27

My little one is only 9 months old so obviously I have very little experience. I thought I would LOVE having a little new born but it was honestly the hardest time of my life and I don't remember feeling relaxed or happy for the first 3 months however now he is amazing I love seeing the new things he is learning. The older he gets the more I enjoy him without wishing his life away!
I know toddler years are supposed to be the hardest work. What's it like when they start school? I think I'll miss him like mad or are you glad of the break. Everyone's different I know. Just wondering what to expect really Smile

OP posts:
Batgirlspants · 15/04/2017 18:47

First 18 years are the worst! Grin

Seriously the first 2 years for me were sheer hard work but interspersed with cuddles and love.

Then 2 to 12 were lovely.

12 to 14 again challenging snd very similar to first 2 years as In growing physically but mentally fucking idiots. No sense of danger or proportion.

14 to now 28/27/19/18 generally good fun and exciting challenges and acheivments.

Dgs is 13 months and it's cyclical. Grin

TheStoic · 15/04/2017 18:50

Baby stage, loved it.

Age 2 - 4.5, wanted to give them back.

5-11 so far has been so much fun. :-)

Fluffy24 · 15/04/2017 18:52

3-6 months probably, sleep deprivation was at its worst and boredom was really kicking in combined with worry about going back to work and guilt about actually looking forward to going back to work!!

hackmum · 15/04/2017 19:04

The first three months were really hard. And then from about 15 months to 3 was a nightmare. I mean, just awful. Teenage years have been a doddle in comparison. But at the risk of stating the obvious, it all depends on the child.

Applebite · 15/04/2017 19:05

Just now. As I clean a carsick toddler and put her to bed and then get to clean out the carsick filled car, whilst everyone else is out.

Remember when saturdays were about getting dressed up and going out?!

EnglishGirlApproximately · 15/04/2017 19:06

Glad it's not just me bantanddec, I love Ds to bits but my god the daily grind is unbearable.

MrsMeeseeks · 15/04/2017 19:08

The first year. I had PND and it was like being trapped inside a horror film.

yikesanotherbooboo · 15/04/2017 19:08

I have found the most painful times to have been now that they are older and you can't always help them. I miss the older ones 25 and 23. DS2 is 15 and barely speaks, which is the most annoying but not really personally difficult stage. I loved baby/ toddler/ infants/ preteen stages and had the luxury of a lot of time at home with them

pineapplepenny · 15/04/2017 19:12

My favourite is late teen so far.
I think ( for me) every age brings something special/different.

Graphista · 15/04/2017 19:18

I'm glad you enjoyed the clip user...121.

My teen is more

User998877 · 15/04/2017 19:21

I honestly hated the first 6 months, I had twins who both had reflux!

The sleep deprivation was like torture and DH was abroad for most of it too. I had no family support and was literally on my own.

Looking back I don't know how I got through it.

WhenSheWasBadSheWasHorrid · 15/04/2017 19:21

2 to 4 year olds are a complete pain in the arse. Prone to tantrums and utterly impervious to reason.

My eldest is only six, had a lovely day out with her. Didn't have to worry about her suddenly wetting herself, running off of having a tantrum.

I have a horrible feeling the teenage years will be something out of a horror movie though. The best I'm hoping for is a moody teen who won't speak to me. That's my best case scenario. Sad

Alwayshungryforcrisps · 15/04/2017 19:23

I am finding the teenage years the hardest, I have a 14 year old and 2 toddlers (who are both really hard work) but I would take a toddler over a teenager anyday!

Pengweng · 15/04/2017 19:27

I do not like the baby stage. From birth until about 9 months were my least favourite. There were obviously moments of joy and amazement at my wonderful children. But twins who don't nap at the same time, one of whom wouldn't stay asleep for more then 2 hours at a time and neither of whom sleep through the night until they were 2 was not a fun filled time.

Oh and i hated potty training twin 2. She was a nightmare and took a year longer to be reliably toilet trained than T1 who basically toilet trained herself in 2 days when she was 2.5.

They are now nearly five and in reception. I absolutely love this age. I'm amazed by how much they know and how quickly they learn and how we can have discussions about things they are interested in.

I work in a primary school and in school my preferred age to work with is Y3/Y4. Grown up enough to know how they should be acting but not grown up enough to care about looking silly. Grin

Ricecrispies16 · 15/04/2017 19:31

I think it depends what number child you're on. With my first the first year was a breeze then I found 12m- 18m difficult due to needing eyes in the back of my arse and never getting a minutes rest. My second is 8 months old and I can't wait for her to be on her feet and find a little bit of independence because it's difficult to occupy her and give my 3yo attention too so I'm looking forward to them being able to play together and baby being able to get to where she wants to be (if safe!)

KERALA1 · 15/04/2017 19:34

Early pregnancy as felt like death until 4 months

Dd1 would not sleep until 7 months. That nearly broke me.

Primary years are a delight - gorgeous funny but not draining and reliant like toddlers

My father warned me that the worst thing about being a parent is the powerlessness as they get older. We are getting glimpses of it when dd1 burst into tears about friendship issues. There's not much we can actually do to fix it and that's hard.

NoMudNoLotus2 · 15/04/2017 19:38

I'm finding the 8/9/10 phase the hardest so far. When they were really little you could scoop them up and take them places such as soft play/a small day trip and there wouldn't be too much fuss. Now however, it's a battle to get them out the house as anywhere I suggest "is boring" and they don't want to do it. They are too old to do what you want them to do activity wise and too young to go off with their mates and do their own thing etc...

farfarawayfromhome · 15/04/2017 19:48

The first 14 months: horrific. Non napping non sleeping baby who fed every hour on the hour, sleep deprivation so bad I fantasised about prison.

Since she could talk at 2 she is amazing! Now 4 and never had a tantrum, is a delight to be with and my favourite person.

NotNowNow · 15/04/2017 19:49

I enjoyed all stages but I've always been glad when each stage has finished. I had four D.C. close in age so it was a bit full on when they were young. (Massive understatement 😂). It was great fun but I felt like I was permanently knackered. I had to remind myself not to wish away the time and enjoy the day IYSWIM

.

xyzandabc · 15/04/2017 19:56

3 kids, eldest is 10.
So far 6 -18 months.
They are mobile but no sense of danger, still need carrying. They get frustrated as they can't tell you what they want. Still in nappies but big yucky ones. Have no concept of others so sharing/playing etc. Still have to cater somewhat specifically to their eating habits rather than just whatever family meal comes to hand. Most food gets smeared all over the place...........

Give me a newborn anyday (and I'd say the 1st 12 weeks with my 1st were absolute hell that nearly led me to a breakdown). At least if you put them down somewhere, they will still be there 10 seconds later!

helpimitchy · 15/04/2017 20:00

I'm not keen on toddlers. They're like unreasonable, out of control, hysterical people who are also very clumsy and incontinent. Can't speak properly either. I mean, what's to actually like? Grin

StarOnTheTree · 15/04/2017 20:04

6 months to 3 years. The lack of sleep, the constant physical stuff and never being able to sit and relax because they were hell bent on trying to kill themselves.

The teenage years have been a breeze so far. One is now a young adult, one still a teen and one not there yet but practicing hard.

GiantHulkHands · 15/04/2017 20:04

I hated the baby stage. I used to feel guilty about it too. One of the things I love about mumsnet is the refreshing honesty. I realised that I wasn't alone or selfish or 'bad' because I didn't enjoy sleep deprivation and a screaming baby because of the reassuring stories people post here.

I adore my daughter now, btw, she is a hilarious and chatty two year old.

gandalf456 · 15/04/2017 20:10

Loved 6-9 months with Dd. But not newborn.

Loved newborn with ds but 6-9mths he was a bit more restless than Dd and anxious to move.

18 months plus was awful with Dd until about 3.5.

Ds was fine til about 3 then terrible til 5.

Dd got difficult at 4-5.

Both calmed down at primary but still enjoyed the break. Found after school a bit full on til 7 or so.

By far, the easiest is junior age 7-11.

When Dd started secondary, she turned into a horror overnight

Feckitall · 15/04/2017 20:11

Baby/toddler years...disliked..PND
5-15 ok....
15-29 with DS1 bloody nightmare...
DS2 & DD fine!
No teenager stuff really..no 'Kevin the teenager' stuff ..only DS1's descent into MH problems...believe me it doesn't get better..different...but a hell of a lot worse when you can't do anything, but spend your nights worrying about the next phone call..