To ask which interpretation of this conversation is right?

[VibrantAmI]

I was chopping banana in the kitchen for my porridge, and asked DH if toddler DS would like some banana too. DH replied that DS had eaten some banana before his breakfast.

How would you interpret that reply?

A) DS has had some banana and doesn't need any more.

B) DS enjoyed some banana this morning so would like some more.

DH and I interpreted the conversation in different ways, as above. I'll tell you which one I am when you tell me which one you think is unreasonable. I fully expect you all to agree with me.

A but if he's anything like my son it could well be B as he loves bananas so much

I was all set for an A.
(although - utterly dependent on context and tone)

But then I read your post that your toddler doesn't communicate his like of banana and that you currently infer it based on whether he's already had some and liked it.
If that is a really frequent thing to do, then I totally see why your husband thought he was answering with B.

A

'Would he like some banana for breakfast?' Is a totally different question from 'Does he like banana?' Though isn't it?

Watching with interest. Ex DH and I are like this. I find it pretty upsetting at this point.
I ask direct, relevant question and get utter waffle back....

I was initially going to say A but having read your updates I'm inclined to say it was just a stupid question. If your DS is unable to communicate verbally or otherwise if he wanted banana your DH was no more likely to know if he'd eat it than you. Even if he'd eaten earlier it doesn't mean he would eat any more or wouldnt eat more and vice versa.

(Prefix: I am a man)

I'd think A

Next time you ask a straight forward question and is answered this way.

Say 'so is that a yes or a no?' keep doing it until he learns to answer the damn question

DH was providing you with more info, so you could make your own guess as to whether toddler was going to eat the banan a or not.

I'm more confused about the meeting - everywhere I've worked, an external meeting is one with external people, usually in your usual office. A meeting elsewhere would be an outside meeting or more likely a meeting at XYZ.

I would have thought A. It is annoying not to get a straight answer, though. My DP is terrible eg if I ask what time he is going out, I get a spiel about how long it will take him and what time he needs to be there, or who needs picking up on the way. And he gets cross if I press him for an answer, even if it's "I don't know yet".

I would have thought A. It is annoying not to get a straight answer, though. My DP is terrible eg if I ask what time he is going out, I get a spiel about how long it will take him and what time he needs to be there, or who needs picking up on the way. And he gets cross if I press him for an answer, even if it's "I don't know yet".

Don't know why that posted twice.

Don't know why that posted twice.

Neither. Whichever it is, your DH has not answered the question you asked and you have then jumped to a conclusion instead of asking him to clarify.

Why didn't you just ask your DS whether he would like some banana yourself?

A but I think YWBU with the external meeting question, why didn't you ask where's the meeting being held?his first answer in that instance was correct and sufficient.

I was trying to find out from DH if DS would want some, as he may have refused some already this morning.

Ah - hadn't seen your responses.

So, what you were really asking was "Is DS in a banana-eating mood today?" In which case B was the correct interpretation.

If you want a straight answer, you need to ask a straight question. "Has DS already eaten some fruit this morning?" might have been better.

I'd've chopped up some melon then. But of variety and too many bananas can make you constipated.

What Trills says, depends on how it was said, but written down I would say A.

I would not have interpreted it as either choice and would have asked "so... does he want some now then?" but I don't "do" tone or ambiguity well.

The only way to find out with him if he'd have liked banana is to peel and chop some banana to give to him. I was trying to find out from DH if DS would want some, as he may have refused some already this morning

In which case your DH's answer was logical. Yes, DS had eaten some banana so was in a pro-banana mood. Though to be honest if the only way to find out is to offer it to him, the whole question was redundant.

A

Tonight on leaving to go to a party, I asked DH if he was okay carrying two bags and DS's coat to the car while I carried DS.

His answer was "do you have the car key?". I'm noticing a lot more that he just doesn't answer me! It's very frustrating when he's the main adult I talk to each day as I'm a SAHM.

I'll work on sharpening up my questions, and I'll also keep asking "yes or no" to make sure I get an actual answer from him. I think we both need to work on our communication.

I thought A reading your initial post, but on reading your updates, I think your DH's interpretation also makes sense. And asking if the child would like banana seems a bit odd since you have said that the only way to know if he wants something is to present it to him. How was your DH supposed to know if he would want to eat more banana unless you actually gave him some?

I'm noticing a lot more that he just doesn't answer me.

Sounds more like he's not listening to you.

TheStoic I think you're right. He was just showing me a leaflet for a new local takeaway, highlighting what he thought was a good deal on 2 "mixed kebabs", large fries and 2 cans of drink. I asked him what qualifies as a "mixed kebab". He turned the leaflet over and said "they're £7 each".

I did say "but what qualifies as a mixed kebab? I didn't ask the price.". He replied that he had given me the information that he would have wanted to know.

Why do I bother speaking if he's not going to listen?