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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Mum won't give birth certificates

81 replies

Spoog1971xx · 14/04/2017 18:34

Ok. So I don't want to turn this into a brexit thread but...
I need to get my Irish passport, My sister ( who lives in Europe, has a mortgage etc) really needs to get her Irish passport. She is going to lose her job unless she either naturalises or gets her Irish passport. She flew over to get the needed documents from my mum - an Irish citizen (my nans birth certificate etc). My mum said she didn't know where they were ( she did) when pressed she refused to hand them over saying they weren't to leave the house. My sister saw the documents but my mum refuses to let her borrow them. Enter my dad who says ' brexit won't happen' um, it already has...
I'm really confused, she basically said we cannot have my grandmothers documents. It's not like she even liked the woman! My parents have always been very controlling but this is beyond weird as they know my sisters only alternative is to marry her BF which she isn't keen on.
Aibu?

OP posts:
JustPoppingBy · 15/04/2017 10:01

How did your sister get to live in Europe without a passport in the first place? Or have a misunderstood?

MaudGonneMad · 15/04/2017 10:43

Presumably the sister had a UK passport

GirlcalledJames · 15/04/2017 18:46

I am in the sam position as your sister and have an uncooperative mother. Birth certs etc. are no problem as others have said, as original means not a photocopy, not that is has to be the first one issued. However, the big problem you have coming up is that you need your mother's actual passport (not a copy) to register at the embassy.

scottishdiem · 15/04/2017 18:52

JustPoppingBy- Sister has a UK passport. This currently lets you live and work etc in Europe. Brexit will remove that right (or if it doesnt, it means EU citizens will continue to get to live and move here and a big reason for Brexit is being ignored). Getting an Irish passport, with Ireland staying in the EU, means that they get to continue to live and work in the foreign country without any hassle.

For an example of hassle, see the 90 page document EU citizens have to fill out in the UK if they want to claim permanent residence here. And see the really odd reasons these applications get rejected.

Youdontwanttodothat · 15/04/2017 18:55

Why would you need your mother's actual passport to register at the embassy?

Gwenhwyfar · 16/04/2017 01:09

"Why would you need your mother's actual passport to register at the embassy?"

What does it matter why you would need it?

MrsPeelyWaly · 16/04/2017 06:20

What if the mother doesn't don't have a passport?

Hmm
LellyMcKelly · 16/04/2017 06:49

I'm about to go through this process for my English born kids. Thanks for all the useful information!

Okumara · 16/04/2017 07:01

I have just ordered all the certificates to do the same. PP are correct in that official copies are fine, that is all your mother has as well. My mum's copies were very fragile so she didn't want to send them off.
The British Certs were £9.25 from the GRO and the Irish ones were €20. The only thing you need from your mother is a notarised or witnessed copy of an official photo id such as passport or driving licence

NorksAreMessy · 16/04/2017 07:14

Cancel the cheque! Grin

morningconstitutional2017 · 16/04/2017 07:28

I find this a bit ridiculous. If you're grown-up enough to leave home, then you're also grown-up enough to store your own birth certificates, aren't you? I assume that they're in a safe place - couldn't you insist that you borrow them and then photocopy them?
Or is there some dark secret about your birth details that hasn't been mentioned? Mammy should realise that you're an independent adult now and needs to let go.

Gasp0deTheW0nderD0g · 16/04/2017 07:50

Read the OP. It's not her own birth certificate that's in her mother's keeping.

GirlcalledJames · 16/04/2017 08:51

I'm not involved in setting Irish consular policy so I don't know why the airish Embassy ask for the original passport. All I can tell OP, being further along in the process than her sister is, is that they did. Presumably they might accept a driving licence for a person without a passport.

FairytalesAreBullshit · 16/04/2017 08:52

You can order copies, it's not that much to do so, that way you get your Irish Passport. Grin

GrayJane · 16/04/2017 08:59

Are UK citizens in Europe already losing their jobs because of their passports or lack of? This is alarming and happening very quickly. Can you elaborate without going into too much detail?

FishyGill · 16/04/2017 09:07

My mum did this with mine, it was so stressful and I still don't know the reasoning behind it.

I got a copy in the end and have used it for passport applications.

JustPoppingBy · 16/04/2017 09:36

Ah thanks @scottishdiem

HooplaLoopla1 · 16/04/2017 10:52

If the Irish parent is dead, how would you then deal with it? Not relevant to this situation I know, just wondering.

EatsLeavesAndShit · 16/04/2017 15:30

Hoopla then you could apply for a copy of the death certificate, I'm pretty sure you can do that online.

Dominithecat · 16/04/2017 15:42

Hoopla then you could apply for a copy of the death certificate, I'm pretty sure you can do that online.

So for me to claim an Irish passport, i would need my grandmothers birth, marriage and death cert.
My mother's birth and death cert, would i need her marriage cert too as she didn't marry my father?
My birth cert and passport?

Genuinely need to know as I haven't tried yet with (i thought ) needing a certified photo of mum/granny.

emmyhNL · 16/04/2017 16:14

I'd order copies. I had to do the same with my grandads certificates. It's 20€ so not too much and they're all accepted copies.

My dad said the same and now won't talk to me about it /brexit

EatsLeavesAndShit · 16/04/2017 16:18

Domini afaik that's correct. If your Irish ancestors are dead then you'll only need to provide their death certificates, and won't need certified copies of their passports or anything. You will also need to provide three documents showing proof of residence in the UK.

This website is very helpful and lists all the information needed Foreign Births Registration guide

StillDrivingMeBonkers · 16/04/2017 16:18

FYI the 'original' certificate (birth, death, marriage) is held by the registrar - you only ever have a copy of that.

Dominithecat · 16/04/2017 17:00

Thank you eats Smile

ittooshallpass · 16/04/2017 17:37

Sorry to hijack the thread... but there is some great info on here and i have a question... I have been trying to get an Irish passport (am 1st generation English on both sides so easily qualify) but can't get the forms.
I've contacted the Irish embassy twice with no response... how are you getting the forms?